Breaking up is hard to do

[Dreamer]

[SIZE="3"]Especially, when the other person denies ever being in a relationship, and rebukes any concept of us ever being considered boyfriends, when the proof is in the pudding to prove otherwise. He said how somewhere along our knowing each other, our communication was somehow mistakenly altered from "friendship" to "relationship". It's utter BULLSHIT! With all of the messages, emails, videos, and phone calls exchanged between us, up until the time that we finally met in person; there was no confusion or altered mishap in communication of how he considered me his "boyfriend".

Although, beforehand, he did apologize for ignoring me for so long, blocking my calls, etc... for over a month, following my return from seeing him for the first time, where he admitted how it was childish and immature, that there was no excuse for him doing so, but what he wrote afterwards highly overshadowed any significance of his apology down to nothing whatsoever.

I wish he could had at least been honest, to admit that when we finally met, after two years of staying in touch that we weren't meant to be, and he wasn't feeling me, that he just wanted to be friends. I could have accepted that. I would have been content with it, if he would've chosen that route. But, instead he had to throw in a totally insensitive statement on how he never considered me his boyfriend, so that he wasn't breaking up with me, since we were never together in the first place.....WTF!?

He told me that he would call me, eventually, to further discuss everything, once everything sank in for him. That was on the 25th of October. I don't anticipate any chance of that ever happening. A friend told me to just let it go, to let him go, and stop looking back, to be content now that I'd gotten some sort of closure, even though it wasn't the respectful kind, but the kind that was just an insult to my intelligence. I wish I could, but I know myself better than that. I'll continue stalking him on FB, getting infuriated with pictures that I see of him with other guys, and waiting like a lost puppy for him to call me.... like a stupid, submissive bitch; repetitively abusing myself, when he stopped acknowledging my existence long ago.

I feel like putting his shit on blast on the internet.....all of the frisky videos, and pics he sent me throughout the years, just to get back at him for not giving a fuck, and being such a cold blooded piece of shit! I was smart to not include my face in any of the videos of pictures of my nudes. He on the other hand, wasn't. I want to be that person, I really do, but I know I won't because I still have a heart. But, just out of anger, and heartache from his dishonesty, I'd love to.[/SIZE]

[Bowyn Aerrow]

Hell hath no fury.....

While I can understand your anger, please don't be 'that guy' that allows your anger to push you to doing something rash.

YOU are better than him, you don't need to hurt him back because he hurt you.


Yeah I know, hollow sounding words.

He is a jerk.

You are not a jerk and you do not have to be.

[Dreamer]

Ya, I'm not going to do anything like that. I'm just hurting right now, and it fucking sucks.

I feel as if I've wasted two years of my life, on someone who could give less of a fuck about my feelings, or me as a person, really.:frown:

[Bowyn Aerrow]

Well I don't know know if 'wasted that time' is a good way to look at it. I suspect that you did many other things while 'dating' him, learned something? Went to a party without the 'tension' of 'needing' to hook up - something - anything?

Other than waiting on him, what else did you do with your life? You way down in Rio de Janeiro (Brazil), him in North America... you had to be doing something other than waiting for the next text, or phone call.

Try to look for some positive stuff that happened that did not include him. I'm most certain you will find that you didn't waste your life. It only feels that way.

[Dreamer]

No, I didn't do anything else while dating him. I'm not into the gay scene, and I never go to clubs or bars, and hookups? That's a repulsive thought to ever consider in my mind. I have too much self-respect to give it up to a total stranger.

Despite your "suspicion", it was a lesson learned, and a great experience, until the break up.

I've spoken to him, and we just weren't meant to be. That's life. We remain friends, which is good enough to me.

Mind you, I've only had one sexual partner before him, and we never had sex once we met. I have this irrational fear of sex and intimacy, due to past trauma, I'd endured as a child. It's something I hope to one day overcome. PTSD's a bitch!

I do a lot with my life! I work out daily, read constantly, and am an avid writer. I'm a bit of a homebody so outings aren't my thing. I'm pursuing my education, and I bust my ass at work, which I take great pride in, as with everything I do.

I don't live in Rio de Janeiro, by the way. I'm in the USA. It's just a place I'd dream to live.

I know I didn't waste my life knowing him, I still consider him a blessing to have known, and that will never change. He has a lot of issues he's dealing with, and that's one reason why he broke up with me.

There's so much good in my life, and I have plenty to focus my time and efforts on, besides him. I'm not this "gloom and doom" loser who sits in my own feces without wiping my ass. I always overcome my downfalls.

[Bowyn Aerrow]

No, I didn't mean hooks ups I meant going out, having fun without feeling a pressure to hook up because you were with someone else. Ultimate I just wanted you to consider everything else you have done. You said 'wasted two years' and I wanted you to think about it and see it really wasn't a waste.

6 days ago you were very hurt, angry, upset, I wanted to give you something positive to off set some of that negative. It seems that you are now focusing on the positives, which is a good thing.

[Dreamer]

Oh ok, srry for the misunderstanding. But ya, I get you now.

Thanks for the support. It's much appreciated mile:

[dfiant]

I'll continue stalking him on FB, getting infuriated with pictures that I see of him with other guys, and waiting like a lost puppy for him to call me.... like a stupid, submissive bitch; repetitively abusing myself, when he stopped acknowledging my existence long ago.

If you do this it will become your problem when up until now this whole thing has been his problem. Yeild to the desire to be a scumbag will do nothing but paint you with the same brush.

Yes it hurts when you get taken for a ride by someone you care about, it's a matter of the heart and yours has been taken for a ride, and I am so sorry that has happened, it's horrible and I really feel for you.

BUT this is your time to stand tall and be the real man. Be proud that you restrained yourself, be proud that you have done nothing wrong, accept what has happened was not your fault, you didn't asked for this, you just had the misfortune to be in the wrong place at the wrong time.

Everything happens for a reason, one of life's little lessons, you can either learn from this lesson and become a stronger more mature person, or become embittered and twisted and seek revenge only hurting yourself.

It has happened, your choice now is do you be the man or do you stoop to the scumbags level?

[Rainbowmum]

Hi Dreamer,

Sweetie ,I am so very sorry , that he treated you this way, you don't deserve it, no one does.
There are no excuses that would justify the way he acted, or how much he hurt you.
He trivialised not just you , but everything that transpired between you, in your 24 month relationship.

I find what he did appalling , only a coward would act like this.( not a man)
And I don't blame you for one solitary second , for wanting to hurt him back.
Be aware that revenge is such a double edged sword, be warned that it's actions can change you for the worse.

The best thing in the world that you can do ,is to rise above the hate and survive.
Hold your head up high,and be the man that he will never be.

Please do not put yourself down , and do not beat yourself up over him.
You deserve better , you are not weak for being able to care , and you are by no mean stupid.

None of this is your fault .
Be kinder to yourself , no one on this planet , man , woman , child or animal deserve to be abused.

Sending you a huge mom hug.

[posterpicture]

When I read this thread, I can't help thinking about what I had with this one person. However, I was in the position of your "bf".
Maybe in his mind, you were never his boyfriend. That doesn't make him not consider you as a special individual. He just doesn't want to see you as a boyfriend. What you guys did together doesn't matter if in his mind you are not his boyfriend.
Anyway, I agree with you that blocking phone call and cut off communication is immature. But sometimes, it s hard to communicate with an obsessive person who is hurt and in rage.