whats the meanest thing your parents or family said about gays or you?
my parents were pretty nice except gay lifestyle they couldn't relate to, to say the least
sometimes i wonder if im still f@cked up hearing the negative but maybe thats silly
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I kinda have a "don't ask, don't tell" with mine. My family (I mean extended family) sticks together so they'd probably defend me from others outside the family who tried to harm me, but then some of them might try to harm me themselves. And when I visited last summer I got downright interrogated why I wasn't married with kids yet.
My granny knows. She feels she failed with raising my mom and hoped she could make up for it with me. She was so disappointed when she thought I wouldn't have children and acted as if she considered herself a failure for how I turned out. That hurt me really bad, and somehow her self-loathing was even worse than if she told me I was going to hell. But she got over it. Yet it haunts me.
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I am not out to my family, but they seem ok for the most part. My dad jokes about how he is my mom's "gay friend" as he goes shopping with her and picks out clothes he knows she will like. But my mother is rather racist and her best friend from college turned out to be a lesbian. She makes slurs that I don't like from time to time. I think in my immediate family my mother would be the only one I am worried about.
Plus, I do believe hearing their hate over the years (and living with my brother he will say "that's so gay!") it has sorta screwed me up a little. Sometimes I honestly feel like less of a man for being gay. Just more shit I have to overcome throughout my life. Since I am not out they haven't directed any hate toward me specifically though.
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i cant or wont even type the things i was told while a teenager
maybe it screwed me up
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[COLOR="Blue"]They don't know about me. I've heard so many homophobic comments from them but the one that tops it all is what my brother said. We were watching TV, and Law and Oder was on. The episode was about a pedophile. And he goes: "If I could I'd kill them all, along with f-a-g-g-o-t-s"
Doubly insulting.[/COLOR]
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With my parents I have only had funny experiences....
This was so nice.. but I wrote it many months before ..so I only copy it :
my mom and my nephew and me having breakfast one day. My nephew ( same age ) read the Text on a milk bottle.. and ask my mother .. Whats pasteurized ? My mother explained ... then he found "homogenized" ..asked my mother... she looks at me... grinning .. I think " mess I´m in trouble"... she answered him : Don´t know what that means ... ask your uncle... he has some "... My nephew : Has what ? My mom: Homo genes.... :biggrin:
my sister was jealous... because I always was in a relationship...and she was always alone or had a partner from the muppet-show...
One day she said : I don´t understand ...you are gay and always partnered ...and I´m a straight women and noone is intrested in me .... I was very nice and explained her why this is so.... I´m a very nice, sympathic and beautiful gay man in my best years ...and ..uhhh ...you are just YOU ..so ... why you ask ?
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Understand that both of my parents are atypically unwell individuals.
My mother was (most likely still is, I haven't spoken to either parent in over 15 years) an extreme bigot. When I brought home a new friend from school, he and I was in my room studying and my mother walked in and suddenly started screaming "Get that N****r out of my fucking house!" I was punished by having to stand in front of the refrigerator all night long for three nights consecutively for having a black friend. I slept at school.... between studying.
It was drilled into my head that hanging around anyone with skin darker than mine was a bad idea and there were worse punishments she could bring to the table. Her take on the gay was just as bad.
When I was 12, my eldest brother (he was 16) came out of the closet. No he didn't just walk out he exploded out. He went from high school jock to Nelly Queen over night. The resulting 'shit storm' that erupted from that 'event' was full of swearing, full of thrown items, he got kicked out of the house for being 'that way' since my mother made it clear that she would never, ever, have a 'faggit' as a son. He two was also a 'son of a bitch'... one of my mother's favorite phrases until I screwed up the courage to ask 'If I am a son of a bitch what does that make you?'
He was homeless at age 16 and never went back home. Well he came back around when he was an adult (about 7 years later) hanging on the arm of a big, burly black man who went by the nickname Bear.... Oh my mother was thrilled to pieces knowing that her eldest son was being 'fucked up the ass by a n***r' (I quote her here).
I did the sane thing, I was at least one state away and I called my mother. When I let the little bomb drop that I was gay she screamed at me to never call her back. I wouldn't call her for nearly 3 years and when I did she played all nice wondering why I hadn't called her.
When my brother was dying from AIDS my mother swore up and down he deserved it and blamed Bear (the big black guy she so despised) for it. Though Bear was negative. She never repented.
The last I heard my mother was being visited by Jesus and all of the Saints (Apostles) who she claimed were slapping her around. On top of that my great grandparents were visiting her, my grandmother, my Aunt Carrie, my Aunt Carol, and my eldest brother... never mind that they were all dead. According to her they were sent back to torment her for 'no good reason'....
I decided to allow her husband to deal with her mental/emotional/spiritual issues. He's a real piece of work as well - they deserved each other.
She is a woman that had much to say about any minority... What is the worst thing she said? That is hard to say she has said so many terrible things.
My father on the other hand pretended to be tolerant. He would have been the first to tell you he has 'gay friends', and black friends, and Jewish friends and all sorts of 'token friends'.
But he was cruel to my brother who wanted to visit to say 'good-bye' when his near end was coming. My father begged off the visit at the last moment saying he had emergency business to attend to in Wisconsin. It was a lie. My father didn't go any place that month. When my brother died my father refused the plane tickets I sent to his wife and him to come to the funeral.
My father never used derogatory words when it came to minority. His actions was to pretend tolerance then stab a person in the back as soon as the change came up. He did that back-stabbing nicely, with a gentle smile. For instance he got 25 acres from an old black woman who he had nothing but kind words to say... in front of her. He all but stole the property offering her pennies for what it was worth, but you see it was attached to his growing 'homestead' thus would make a nice addition to his. As soon as she was off the property my father cut all ties to her. He played nice until he got what he wanted then all but pushed her into a nursing home himself.
He never actually said "mean" things to people outside of the wives he beat and the sons he beat. His actions were another story, especially cruel when ever he could get the change.
His 5th wife (the one I assume he is with currently) is 19 years younger than him and is refusing to allow him to divorce her. She has some legal 'dirt' on him which she threatens him with if he gets the balls to try to divorce her. Her plan is simple, out live him then sell of that property. Its worth about five million dollars now, perhaps more if she parcels it off into lots.
Ultimately I have lived long enough to see both of my parents get exactly what they deserved. One of the reasons why I have a strong faith that their is a God....
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en.wikipedia.or g/wiki/Homophobia
your stories are pretty bad-worse than mine
except for a few negative sentences my parents were pretty nice
if they were still alive id be visiting as i was
its frightening to think of all the hate thats out there
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BA, I can't imagine all the crap you and your brother went through from both parents especially your Mother. I'll never understand how a woman can carry a child for 9 months, give birth raise and nuture that child for years and then have complete contempt for him or her. My Mother told me once that I could be a serial killer and she would still love me as a bond between a mother and child is so strong....
My parents were "don't ask don't tell" also (I lived over 60 miles away) and my Mother kept up all the questions about marriage until the ripe old age of 75 when she finally conceded and gave up. My Dad was different, although he never talked about it, he never did anything to make me feel less loved after we knew. As far as parents are concerned, I feel fortunate.
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