neeed help...

[tom]

Hi, my name is tom and im currently 18 years 3 months old. This doubt is regarding the gay thing, so u mi8 want to close this if you r not comfy. Others kindly read it once and tell me what u think.

so.. recently (the second time im sleeping with someone) i slept with a guy. It was horrible for me. I mean my dick was not hard at all!!! the guy was abt 25 years old and trust me he was very hot and fit. he was kind too. we started kissing and hugging and all. his dick was quite haaaard. i kinda liked it too. we did all kinds of foreplay. then i started sucking him and he enjoyed it. then he went down on me and yeahhhh no wood!! i was so embarrased. he asked me if its my first time and i told him that it was my second time. he said its normal and asked me to be relaxed. i WAS relaxed... more than relaxed.. he tried a lot.. i almost felt sorry for him.. i asked if there was porn and he said yes.. we started watching porn and still my dick ditched me..

he tried to suck me.. but it was of no use.. i told him leave it.. then he said its okay and he said "we'll try next time!!"...

the moment i went home, started thinking abt how hot he was and i started shagging like anything.. then my stupid dick worked fine!!

so im really scared.. is this normal?? or im not gay?? or am i not sexually active(besides the fact that i shag twice a day)??

the first time was also with a man and it was horrible than this second time. i hated that guy.

let me tell u few things about me. i like to watch gay porn and if i get bored i start watching straight porn. never tried sex with girls. i usually (only once) dont shag with my hand, instead i fuck my bed with the underwear on.

so wat should i do now? i need to wait for sometime? and not take any hasty decision about my sexuality immediatly?

thank you for your time...

[colinmackay]

Don't worry it is normal. You may be physically relaxed but there is a little mental block that is preventing things.

It happened to me too. For the first two weeks after I fully accepted I was gay I couldn't get things going... I was a bit scared I might have made a terrible mistake. Things eventually worked themselves out.

Sent from my GT-I9100 using Tapatalk

[fenris]

Hi and Welcome :-)

Don´t worry .... there is nothing wrong... I´m to 99,8 % sure that you are only nervous... you know...as men we want to be very good in bed ( or where ever ) ... but sometimes we are nervous, sometimes we are irritated ... and sometime it is a paradox reaction if someone is very excited.... and as reaction some part don´t get hard ... or you have to pee in a complete wrong moment.
Important is that you say to yourself that all these things can happen.. without any illness.. or being gay, bi..or not.... The biggest sexual organ is the brain... and the brain tells you what you want, want you like ... if you are gay or whatever.... but the brain is not free of little bugs.

Apropoz little bugs :-) I forget what I wanted to say : It gets better with more experiences.... or if you have more trust in a partner

[LateBloomer]

Next time you're with this guy, do everything except have "sex". No sucking, no fucking. Just kissing, massaging, cuddling, take a shower together, have long slow make out sessions.

The idea is to be SENSUAL, not "sexual". Let your body and MIND enjoy the intimacy and the whole experience of being close to someone WITHOUT trying to achieve a specific goal (erection ---> ejaculation).

Maybe you'll get hard when you take the focus off of your dick and put your focus on YOUR PARTNER.

Tell him you want to wash his body in the shower--or take a bath together. Then give him a long slow full body massage. Smother him in kisses and hugs. Forget about your dick. Everything is about him.

Good luck and enjoy.

[tom]

Thank you

[tom]

Next time you're with this guy, do everything except have "sex". No sucking, no fucking. Just kissing, massaging, cuddling, take a shower together, have long slow make out sessions.

The idea is to be SENSUAL, not "sexual". Let your body and MIND enjoy the intimacy and the whole experience of being close to someone WITHOUT trying to achieve a specific goal (erection ---> ejaculation).

Maybe you'll get hard when you take the focus off of your dick and put your focus on YOUR PARTNER.

Tell him you want to wash his body in the shower--or take a bath together. Then give him a long slow full body massage. Smother him in kisses and hugs. Forget about your dick. Everything is about him.

Good luck and enjoy.

hey thanks a lot man.. may be u r ri8... no.. u r ri8 coz i was just focusing on my dick just like u said...

[LateBloomer]

hey thanks a lot man.. may be u r ri8... no.. u r ri8 coz i was just focusing on my dick just like u said...

Sometimes we "spectate" during sex. In other words, psychologically we're judging our performance as if we were watching a porn--or other sport.

This is unfair to your partner and yourself.

Your partner deserves to have you FULLY involved, not distracted by the performance of your dick.

Enjoy pleasing your partner.

[BinarySurfer]

Next time you're with this guy, do everything except have "sex". No sucking, no fucking. Just kissing, massaging, cuddling, take a shower together, have long slow make out sessions.

The idea is to be SENSUAL, not "sexual". Let your body and MIND enjoy the intimacy and the whole experience of being close to someone WITHOUT trying to achieve a specific goal (erection ---> ejaculation).

Maybe you'll get hard when you take the focus off of your dick and put your focus on YOUR PARTNER.

Tell him you want to wash his body in the shower--or take a bath together. Then give him a long slow full body massage. Smother him in kisses and hugs. Forget about your dick. Everything is about him.

Good luck and enjoy.

I'm going to print this out and put it on my wall. I have the same problem as the original poster. The one element that was missing from my experiences was the intimacy.

I have learned that there are different types of people when it comes to sex. There are those who don't need intimacy and have no problem with one night stands. Their counter part are those like us who need a personal connection or intimacy to have sex. I was totally down with trying out one night stands, but it seemed that my Dick didn't agree and remained relax lol. That put my head through a spin and i didnt know if i was gay, but I was reassured that it is because one night stands are not for me and that i seek meaningful relationships.

[LateBloomer]

I'm going to print this out and put it on my wall. I have the same problem as the original poster. The one element that was missing from my experiences was the intimacy.

I spent most of my life avoiding intimacy.

Now it's the only thing I crave.

[Bowyn Aerrow]

You are suffering from what is called 'Performance Anxiety': http://www.askmen.com/dating/love_tip_60...e_tip.html

Google search list: http://www.google.com/webhp?hl=en#hl=en&...47&bih=609

By the number of sites that come up you can see this is quite common.

Basically, you are acutely 'normal' - you are OK.