Sexually Unhappy With Boyfriend

[gvr]

Alright, I need some advice. My guy is driving me insane.

I love him. He's absolutely perfect in every other way. He's pretty.

However, I'm also excessively shallow. Therefore, love is all that matters is not a valid argument in my mind. Sex is #1 on list, then love.

So thats kind of where I stand.. heres the problem:

I absolutely loathe doing things in bed that he won't do. It makes me feel like its somehow shameful for doing it. ie: Swallowing, throat f**king(no idea if I'm allowed to swear or not) or even bottoming.

It's not that I don't enjoy being submissive. I enjoy VERY versatile sex. I like everything to be switchable I guess. Although I don't particularly care for bottoming. But I do it for him, but he won't do it for me.

It's been 10 months. He still hasn't. He says he will and that he has no problem with it, but it just seems to be put off and completely undesired by him. I don't particularly want to if its so undesired.

I'm starting to feel very sexually not compatible with him. Theres much more but I'd like to keep it some-what short.

Basically, I don't know what to do with him. I don't know what more I could do to let him get it other than maybe just give him this post right now.

HELP.

[Mark]

Alright, I need some advice. My guy is driving me insane.

I love him. He's absolutely perfect in every other way. He's pretty.

However, I'm also excessively shallow. Therefore, love is all that matters is not a valid argument in my mind. Sex is #1 on list, then love.

So thats kind of where I stand.. heres the problem:

I absolutely loathe doing things in bed that he won't do. It makes me feel like its somehow shameful for doing it. ie: Swallowing, throat f**king(no idea if I'm allowed to swear or not) or even bottoming.

It's not that I don't enjoy being submissive. I enjoy VERY versatile sex. I like everything to be switchable I guess. Although I don't particularly care for bottoming. But I do it for him, but he won't do it for me.

It's been 10 months. He still hasn't. He says he will and that he has no problem with it, but it just seems to be put off and completely undesired by him. I don't particularly want to if its so undesired.

I'm starting to feel very sexually not compatible with him. Theres much more but I'd like to keep it some-what short.

Basically, I don't know what to do with him. I don't know what more I could do to let him get it other than maybe just give him this post right now.

HELP.

Why not do something he likes.. Like ask him what he wants.. If you have done that and still no "results" I dont know.. You cant make someone do something they really feel uncomfortable about.. :frown:

[gvr]

Why not do something he likes.. Like ask him what he wants.. If you have done that and still no "results" I dont know.. You cant make someone do something they really feel uncomfortable about.. :frown:

Well, the problem is that our sex is what he wants and not what I want. I'm just getting to the point where I think its hopeless.

[Mark]

Well, the problem is that our sex is what he wants and not what I want. I'm just getting to the point where I think its hopeless.

Hmm have you tried gradually moving things along? As in.. after youve done whatever start getting into it and try guiding him?

[gvr]

Hmm have you tried gradually moving things along? As in.. after youve done whatever start getting into it and try guiding him?

So so, I've somewhat tried that. He has some fantastic ways of avoiding it. I don't know if its going too far to address his methods in particular.

[Mark]

So so, I've somewhat tried that. He has some fantastic ways of avoiding it. I don't know if its going too far to address his methods in particular.

I think you may need to be blunt and speak to him about it..

[gvr]

I think you may need to be blunt and speak to him about it..

Hmm, I'll try. But it generally works for the conversation then I get a resolution that is far from ever fulfilled.

(I'm sorry, I must be frustrating you)

[Shadow]

I agree with Saltybeanz, whom I shall henceforth refer to as Twazzle. Speak with him - maintaining an open dialogue is vitally important in any relationship - it's not all about you OR him - it's about the PAIR of you, and so anything that you present to each other you should be able to work at ...

Perhaps he doesn't realise just how much of an issue this is for you ... and let's face it - there's nothing wrong with a rich and fulfilling sex-life mile:.

!?!?! Shadow !?!?!

[Mark]

Hmm, I'll try. But it generally works for the conversation then I get a resolution that is far from ever fulfilled.

(I'm sorry, I must be frustrating you)

I bet its not as frustrating to us as you LOL.

And yehh basically you need to talk if it concerns you this much..

[wouldlikemuscle]

I'd agree that you do need to speak with him. In all aspects of the relationship you need to be able to work as a pair, and that includes sex. Tell him how you feel and what you would like to do and how much the sex being pretty much on his terms is affecting you.