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01-16-2012, 08:32 AM

Hi, this is my first post. Sorry to be asking for help as I'm getting to know you.

I've been with my boyfriend for over a year. We had our typical fairy tale beginning. College, he came out to me, and we started dating after that. Slowly i started to develop what I would call love. He was all I thought about, constantly wanted to be with him, and just wanted to kiss him and smile and laugh with him 'tra-la-la'. this is both our first serious relationship. But, he's graduated now and moved about 4 hours away while i'm still in school.

I suppose after 8 months of long distance it's been slowly breaking me. I'm not really feeling the same way as I used to. and sometimes my feelings are really inconsistent. he's done nothing wrong or anything. But i think the problem is we're not growing as a couple anymore because of the distance. this passed semester we did see each other a fair amount, about twice a month.

He still tells me he loves me all the time, and i'm very fortunate and lucky to have found him. but I think because of the situation i can't help but sometimes feeling like i miss being single. but I also love him too which makes me feel bad when I feel that way.

any words of wisdom would be greatly appreciated.

01-16-2012, 10:09 AM

Hello,
Distance in a relationship can put a strain on it however it isnt the end all.. lf you both work together at this such as text messages, phone calls or even cam to cam online your be able to maintain the relationship and care for it as well as each other... The distance may break you because its not the same as being together in each others company. You know a day will come whereby your be leaving school and then able to follow.. Each day that goes by is one less to wait...
You say he lives four hours away... Well judging the distance on a car the maximum he could live if its 70MPH limit on the freeways there is 280 miles which in comparison isnt actually too far it could be understandable if he lived in another country or the oppsite end of america to you. Distance is something that can also make the heart grow fond. Why not call him and come to some agreement whereby a few times a week you have alternative turns at phoning one another for an hour and talking... As your days at school get near the end then begin to make plans to either move to where he lives or ask if he would move to where you are.

Secondly.... Welcome to the forum mister Smile

Kindest regards

zeon x

01-16-2012, 09:01 PM

hoffser, correct me if I'm wrong, but are you feeling like you want to be single again? And not committed to this relationship?

If that's the case, then I'd definitely suggest you talk to your partner about this. Sure it's going to take a lot so say "hey let's take a break" but you know what, your honestly, and love for him will show.

Sure you're a great distance apart, but you're not fully committed to the relationship as it sounds, and if you're honest to him about it, maybe he'll understand. And who knows after your break maybe you both find each other back, or you both move on to better things.

:/

Sure distance pressure a relationship, but when both partners are committed to a relationship, it typically works out. Not all the time, but most of the time it works. But you sound like a guy who's honest, and sincere, and that my friend will go a long way in life!

: )

Good Luck!

01-17-2012, 06:35 AM

yeah I suppose, I mean I'm not really interested in any other people, and i'm still committed, I just worry that I'm losing confidence. I don't know, If I do decide a break is what I need, I'm worried about realizing I was wrong and him not willing to take me back. I guess that's why this feels so weird is because the stakes are too high.

and a big thanks to both of you, Zeon and iPromise, for responding.

01-17-2012, 07:56 AM

Hey

You said this is your first serious relationship? So if it's no working for you anymore, then it's probably time to move on. There's no point in forcing something that doesn't feel right to you.

01-17-2012, 03:09 PM

Eric makes a valid point, you really have to sit down and reflect on your options, which ones weight heavily than the other? What are the benefits of one and the other? Which one means more to you?

Honestly just be honest to yourself and accept any of the consequences that may follow, you can't trap yourself into something you're not into! You've gotta move on with life, get out of the grey and into the colors : ).

01-17-2012, 04:06 PM

long distance realationshio are hard but... 4 hours doesnt sound imposible for a weekend or something...
Try to see him more and see if you feelings change! You'll havesomuch to talkabout since you spend many times separated (: When you visit him besure of giving him a chocolate^^

01-27-2012, 09:12 AM

As of Tuesday me and My boyfriend have decided to take a break. its been really hard, and lot of crying and moping on both sides of this. I'm constantly worried i could lose him forever. and I don't want that..

some part of me is feeling excited though. I'm single in college and that hasn't happened since I became comfortable with my sexuality.

is this normal to feel so up and down simultaneously about this?

01-27-2012, 10:08 AM

Hi Welcome to the forum and sorry to hear about your relationship problems, I hope things work out fine for you..?