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Depression and my BF
#1
I can occasionally getl very depressed. The slightest bad thing can set it off, yet sometimes something truly terrible happens and I'm fine. It doesn't last longer than 10 days, unless seething truly depressing is going on. I have been able to compartmentalize my life into two personas, one "normal, one depressed when this happens (note, I feel fine the vast majority of the time). The point of this was so that I could hide the occaisional depression because no one wants to date a crazy person! And I don't want to dump my bad feelings on to him.
But somehow he found out anyway because the last time I was deppresssed he said: "I can tell that your feeling sad and I want you to know that if you want to talk about it I'm here for you any time you want".
How do you think he found out?
Should I open up to him?
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#2
Hello,
Depression is something which is good to talk however opening up to someone you know can help but talking to a complete stranger who doesnt know you helps more because they are unable to judge you. Of course loved ones around you will want to help because they care but they could think they know a solution to a problem which isnt always the case... If your having good days and bad days this is usually because inside your suffering from depression on a bigger scale... If it was a case you felt sad here and there like a couple of times a year thats just down to general sadness.
People can tell when someone is suffering inside because the body language you give off is sufficent enough for people to read into. With negative energy displayed people respond.. This is how i would say he has found out.. Of course do open up to your boyfriend because then he may be able to give you courage to possibly seek some medical attention however as a word of advice if you feel your able to fight this depression on your own then this is the route i would suggest as it helps you understand about suffering from depression but if it gets too much you may need to see the doctor whereby they will do a 1 to 4 scale of questions to ask and assess you on the right medication... I know when i split with my boyfriend in scotland I was 18 and suffering from depression for 18 months... This caused me to have self harm moments and a right attitude even to those i loved. I would burst into tears over stupid things at work and feel totally worthless and there are alot of people in the world who suffer from it so dont feel like your alone in this.
I ended up overcoming my depression by trying to figure out what the cause of it was and i found it was because my boyfriend slept with my mate and then ditched me in the side bed whilst they had sex infront of me... After thinking i managed to see that i cannot weigh up the odds and blame myself as i didnt force him to have sex with my friend and I had to understand that love evolves in many wierd ways...

Try to figure out whats causing you to feel like this and assess what could of caused it... Ask yourself what was my role in this happenning and am I responsible for anything thats happenned?? If the answer is no then thats cool if its yes try to forgive yourself if its a bad thing

Kindest regards and big hugz

Zeon x
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#3
how is being depressed crazy?why assume all things things no one will date a "crazy person"to me all people are crazy
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#4
boy friends come and go, dont become co dependent.

work on the root causes of your depression, sounds like you can manage it if you want.
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#5
try dr amen videos on youtube
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#6
Hi Anon,

First let me say , you are not crazy.
Having depression can be very debilitating , it is not a thing that you should ignore.
It is also not a thing that get's better all on it's own, and suppressing , is the worse thing to do.

You need to learn how to deal with it, and for that , you will need to see a professional that can give you , tools to control it.

Please seek professional help , do not ignore this.
Here for you, so keep us posted.
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#7
Thanks everyone you've all been so helpful, especially: Rainbowmum, Zeon and Holland. I do have professional help, I see an excellent, kind, and compassionate psychiatrist weekly, she helps me a great deal and I'm on an anti-depressant that helps about 60%, I really don't want more anti-depressants as side effects include weight gain and loss of libido. It may sound vain but I don't want to gain weight as I have worked hard for the body I have and I finally have a fulfilling sex life so loss of libido would be devastating as well. I have tried so many anti-depressants and this is what works best. Pellaz, I know you mean well but I don't want this bf to go, he's really a wonderful person, and I thought co-dependence was for addicts?
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#8
Having Depression is not a joke. Its a real illness and can be quite debilitating affecting your personal, professional and social life. I have had depression since i was born i guess. But, i am managing it somehow. Depression has afftected my social life in a big way as i tend to avoid people when i am feeling low and even generally, i dont mix up with people as much as i would like due to my mental condition. I generally spend most of my time alone with only a few meetings here and there. Recently, i ahve started CBT that is helping me a bit and i actually feel better now. I have had self-esteem issues earlier or maybe still have, as i tend to compare myself with others a lot, and i generally dont like to mix with people who are financially well off than me. I dont know if this is a healthy thinking or not, but it has affected my relationships in a big way.
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#9
Anonymous Wrote:But somehow he found out anyway because the last time I was deppresssed he said: "I can tell that your feeling sad and I want you to know that if you want to talk about it I'm here for you any time you want".
How do you think he found out?
Should I open up to him?

He loves you that's how Bighug
You don't need to tell him everything in one day, but I think you should open up to him. Otherwise he may start to think what is wrong between you two. That's why people are looking for relationship. To share. The good and the bad.
And you are not crazy, depression is a disease.
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#10
You should definitely be open and truthful with your bf because it sounds like he really cares. He most likely found out based on your actions and/or your body language.
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