Advice about comming out?

[Zet]

Working, as aways on the weekends :/

[pellaz]

Working, as aways on the weekends :/

oops, gym or a run?

[Zet]

Perhaps, friend of mine has been asking me for joining his gym, but its so expencive :O But I know it would be the best motivation although

[pellaz]

the only times i made gains at the gym was when i was with a straight gym partner. He was a good friend too and i think we both benefited.

would your friend be able to go to a less expensive gym or go running with you?

[Zet]

He has already bought the year membership But maybe running, but he is most into pushing weights :p

[pellaz]

good and bad; maybe an investment

[Bowyn Aerrow]

I was 23/24 when I came out. Up to that point I was so far in the closet I didn't even know I was gay.

But then there were a few good reasons for me to hide my homosexuality from everyone (including myself). One was how well my brother was accepted by mother and her husband. At age 16 he exploded out of the closet, he was kicked out of the home and he went to Los Angeles to work on the street...

I did my life thing, education, work, blah without dating - anyone. Up to the point where I met my first partner, Over the course of about 6 months he 'wooed' me. I came to the point where in order for me to feel right with myself and the world I needed to come out.

Learning from the experience of my brother, I decided on telephone calls to the parents. I was living in Las Vegas, mother in southern California, father in Kentucky - so I had a good reason to inform over the phone other than my fear of face to face confrontation.

No it didn't go well, yes both parents were cruel and 'unforgiving' in their own way.

Yes as a matter of fact I do not have contact with my parents now. But that is largely due to many other serious issues between my parents and myself. Abuse mainly.

I reached a turning point in my life with Robert (my first partner). For me it was a matter of honor and truthfulness. I have a tendency to be too truthful and not be comfortable with living a lie or with lies. This is largely due to the huge amount of lies my parents drug me through.

I also was at the stage where frankly I didn't care if someone had an issue with my being whatever. I could (and as it turns out I have) live without my parents, live without those 'friends' who had issues - live without a lot of people who I mistakenly thought cared for me as a person.

Regrets? None.

Well actually that isn't altogether true, I regret not being open and honest with myself when I was much younger and being openly gay. I wouldn't have wasted so much time and money on getting a D.Min and attending seminary and barking up the wrong tree in so many other ways.

As for being openly and honestly gay... I do not regret it.

Being brutally honest with yourself ask yourself, "Can I live a lie?"

That is something you need to ask yourself and answer.

Aside of fear of rejection (we all have that) can you live with telling one lie to hide an earlier lie, to hide yet one more lie all in an attempt to be 'straight' in the eyes of people who love?

Is there a point where you know that you can't keep up that charade and know that for better or for worse being honest is the only way you can live?

Is that point now?

See you will have to ask yourself these questions and be brutally honest with yourself.

Shakespeare puts it in prose:

This above all: to thine own self be true, And it must follow, as the night the day, Thou canst not then be false to any man.

[zeon]

hello,
Coming out can be a hard step however peoples opinions do change after wards from time to time. Sweden is ment to be one of the most gay friendly countries and i think if you did come out your parents would show moral support for you as their son... I came out almost ten years ago because i couldnt live a lie anymore and felt i need to be honest. I beleived that if my mother has always loved me she will stand by me and continue as nothing happenned and when i told her she did exactly that...

Best thing is think about how your going to explain it to make them understand.... Tell them that your still you and nothing has changed.. If they say it has then say Yes... Your right it has... Five minutes ago i was living in my lie and now im not....

Kindest regards

zeon x

[Cunobelin]

Coming out can very difficult. My mother is accepting, my ex-wife is accepting, and many of my friends are. However, I lost a good friend as it made him "uncomfortable" and my father is not accepting at all. He didn't disown me, but he refuses to acknowledge it, and told me to never tell him about my dating life.

It's been difficult being out, but it was even harder being in. I was constantly lying, to myself and to others. I was living a grandiose lie. I feel much freer now that I'm out, but yes, it's been hard. While we live in a "progressive" society, not everyone is accepting or understanding.