So busy

[dlboy53]

Hate to say this but yes the world has gotten on the fast train to nowhere and has caused so much grief for so many people. I'm sure that there are many people out there that think on a daily bases about taking their life I know I have and have tried once. Sense the time of my conception I have been passed around like a rage doll and beaten til I could not sit by adults and now that I'm open about my sexuality I feel so alone. My career has gone to the pits with the economy and seems like every time I'm blessed with something good I'm cursed ten fold. I have a college degree in which everyone says is better then not having one , but at this point in time I disagree because its a debt that I can't pay back right now so I have people wanting but no one wanting to take a chance on me.

Of course I live in a smaller city that does not have an LBGT center and to travel back and forth to the closes one eats gas and money and the time I do go there there is no one there. i so badly want to be held by someone but everyone that I try to start befriending all they want is sex.

I don't claim to know what goes on in everyone's head that thinks on taking their life, but for people that have everything and think they know everything about whats going on they really don't. I would say that my loneliness can be the root of all that is bad with me but then again who knows.

I better stop because I think I'm rambling now

[Gizzie]

I 'm so sorry James