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Advice for a jealous lover?
#1
So, I've been in my current relationship for over 6 years. He's been the only person I've dated ever in my entire life. I'm happy with the relationship but the only thing that's truly killing me is the fact that I can't handle him sexting and having, and sometimes acting upon, sexual interests with other people, which he enjoys doing. I have told him I didn't like it and he understands, but he really can't help himself, especially around his friends both online and in person. He's a real people-pleaser and loooooves attention he can get from non-creepers (even gained a reputation for it).
It's eaten away at the back of my head for months, years even, to the point that I'm an insecure mess. I tend to lash out at him now if he hints having sexual urges with someone else, I get controlling, invasive, angry, etc.

I know 'dating' isn't necessarily a true or deep-relationship and you have to be open to things, but I grew up to that teaching that if you found the person you want to commit to, you give it your all, which I felt I have. Now I just feel like that effort was for naught, that I'm now just some person to keep around til the next best thing comes around.

What do I do?
How am I supposed to see things so I see just him and not his sexual tendencies?
How do I move on and get back to loving him as a whole? Start feeling like I'm his "one-and-only"?
Or do I just drop it and move on with my life?
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#2
Are you sure you're in monogamous relationship? What are you looking for? A casual relationship or what? I'm serious about relationship. If I find my boyfriend acts like that, he will not be my boyfriend anymore.

Everyone has their own values. When you love someone, you embrace his flaw. It doesn't mean you let him violate your values. Don't force yourself to change your values in which you think it's right.
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#3
If he's not willing to respect your boundaries, I don't understand why you're with him.
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#4
You've been together six years and still call that dating. When is it a full on relationship? 25 years?
Looks to me like you are committed to you but he is not committed to you and wants you to believe you are only dating.
You are too young to be stuck with someone like this. It won't get any better. Find someone you can love and share a life with.
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#5
DC4319 Wrote:What do I do?
How am I supposed to see things so I see just him and not his sexual tendencies?
How do I move on and get back to loving him as a whole? Start feeling like I'm his "one-and-only"?
Or do I just drop it and move on with my life?

Pretending you don't see his sexual tendencies is lying to yourself. You do see them, clearly.
Pretending you are his "one-and-only" is lying to yourself again. You are not his one-and-only.

So be honest with yourself and decide if this relationship is what you really want. If it isn't, your idea to move on sounds like a good one.
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