09-02-2015, 04:20 PM
Hey everyone,
Iâve been with this guy for 8 months now, heâs my first boyfriend, and my first real relationship. I love him very much, we get along well and rarely argue. He doesnât think he looks attractive, and most people probably wonât, but Iâm extremely attracted to him, I can get hard by him simply touching my arm, and love every single part of his body. The attractiveness is definitely a one way thing. When it comes to sex heâs great on top, but he prefers to be on bottom. I enjoy it when heâs on top, but I always prefer to be on top, however when I am, itâs awful.
Weâve tried many positions in the bedroom, living room, parentâs house, elevator, etc. I bought toys, a cock ring, a jock strap, tried to suggest planning sex, nothing helps.
At first, when we were just beginning he wouldnât tell me how bad it was, he would just lay there, like a sack of potatoes, emotionless, soundless. I would get so bored sometimes Iâd get soft inside of him, and have to force myself to cum. He clearly didnât enjoy it but always told me it was fine, and âthatâs just how he isâ.
Then finally after a few months when we started talking about it he just complained and complained, and I could never get it right. He told me I didnât last long enough, ok, so I jack off the morning before. Now I last too long. Jack off a day before? Still too short or too long. He says I do it too slow, so I speed it up, too fast. He doesnât like the position, so I change it, now Iâm changing it too much. It took a serious toll on my sex related self-esteem and I just gave up for the most part, and just let him be on top every time just so it would be good for him. With most of the time Iâd be faking like Iâm enjoying it so it wouldnât be awkward. I actually told him I faked it sometimes and he didnât believe me (I must be that good).
Even blowjobs and hand-jobs are terrible, at first he used to take his time to satisfy me, and enjoyed watching my reactions, now he just rushes so much to get it over with Iâd rather not have one.
Now itâs been over a month since Iâve been on top, and about two weeks for him, and he is silently refusing to top me until I top him. Am I doing something wrong? Iâve told him how I feel, tried understanding how he felt and what he wants, tried almost everything in the book, went out of my way to try and fit his needs, but it has never ever been right. I donât have an issue with getting hard, and could easily have sex multiple times a day if itâs good. I suggested planning sex, nope. I suggested an open relationship, hell no.
Now he complains about me never wanting to have sex with him, we talk about it, but nothing ever lives past the conversation. Any ideas on what I can do now? I know I donât want to end it, and would be fine if we both agreed on not doing it anymore, Iâm tired of always doing it wrong. Iâm just here looking for ideas for us to try.
Iâve been with this guy for 8 months now, heâs my first boyfriend, and my first real relationship. I love him very much, we get along well and rarely argue. He doesnât think he looks attractive, and most people probably wonât, but Iâm extremely attracted to him, I can get hard by him simply touching my arm, and love every single part of his body. The attractiveness is definitely a one way thing. When it comes to sex heâs great on top, but he prefers to be on bottom. I enjoy it when heâs on top, but I always prefer to be on top, however when I am, itâs awful.
Weâve tried many positions in the bedroom, living room, parentâs house, elevator, etc. I bought toys, a cock ring, a jock strap, tried to suggest planning sex, nothing helps.
At first, when we were just beginning he wouldnât tell me how bad it was, he would just lay there, like a sack of potatoes, emotionless, soundless. I would get so bored sometimes Iâd get soft inside of him, and have to force myself to cum. He clearly didnât enjoy it but always told me it was fine, and âthatâs just how he isâ.
Then finally after a few months when we started talking about it he just complained and complained, and I could never get it right. He told me I didnât last long enough, ok, so I jack off the morning before. Now I last too long. Jack off a day before? Still too short or too long. He says I do it too slow, so I speed it up, too fast. He doesnât like the position, so I change it, now Iâm changing it too much. It took a serious toll on my sex related self-esteem and I just gave up for the most part, and just let him be on top every time just so it would be good for him. With most of the time Iâd be faking like Iâm enjoying it so it wouldnât be awkward. I actually told him I faked it sometimes and he didnât believe me (I must be that good).
Even blowjobs and hand-jobs are terrible, at first he used to take his time to satisfy me, and enjoyed watching my reactions, now he just rushes so much to get it over with Iâd rather not have one.
Now itâs been over a month since Iâve been on top, and about two weeks for him, and he is silently refusing to top me until I top him. Am I doing something wrong? Iâve told him how I feel, tried understanding how he felt and what he wants, tried almost everything in the book, went out of my way to try and fit his needs, but it has never ever been right. I donât have an issue with getting hard, and could easily have sex multiple times a day if itâs good. I suggested planning sex, nope. I suggested an open relationship, hell no.
Now he complains about me never wanting to have sex with him, we talk about it, but nothing ever lives past the conversation. Any ideas on what I can do now? I know I donât want to end it, and would be fine if we both agreed on not doing it anymore, Iâm tired of always doing it wrong. Iâm just here looking for ideas for us to try.