Any ideas so spice up sex?
09-02-2015, 04:20 PM
Hey everyone,
I’ve been with this guy for 8 months now, he’s my first boyfriend, and my first real relationship. I love him very much, we get along well and rarely argue. He doesn’t think he looks attractive, and most people probably won’t, but I’m extremely attracted to him, I can get hard by him simply touching my arm, and love every single part of his body. The attractiveness is definitely a one way thing. When it comes to sex he’s great on top, but he prefers to be on bottom. I enjoy it when he’s on top, but I always prefer to be on top, however when I am, it’s awful.
We’ve tried many positions in the bedroom, living room, parent’s house, elevator, etc. I bought toys, a cock ring, a jock strap, tried to suggest planning sex, nothing helps.
At first, when we were just beginning he wouldn’t tell me how bad it was, he would just lay there, like a sack of potatoes, emotionless, soundless. I would get so bored sometimes I’d get soft inside of him, and have to force myself to cum. He clearly didn’t enjoy it but always told me it was fine, and “that’s just how he isâ€Â.
Then finally after a few months when we started talking about it he just complained and complained, and I could never get it right. He told me I didn’t last long enough, ok, so I jack off the morning before. Now I last too long. Jack off a day before? Still too short or too long. He says I do it too slow, so I speed it up, too fast. He doesn’t like the position, so I change it, now I’m changing it too much. It took a serious toll on my sex related self-esteem and I just gave up for the most part, and just let him be on top every time just so it would be good for him. With most of the time I’d be faking like I’m enjoying it so it wouldn’t be awkward. I actually told him I faked it sometimes and he didn’t believe me (I must be that good).
Even blowjobs and hand-jobs are terrible, at first he used to take his time to satisfy me, and enjoyed watching my reactions, now he just rushes so much to get it over with I’d rather not have one.
Now it’s been over a month since I’ve been on top, and about two weeks for him, and he is silently refusing to top me until I top him. Am I doing something wrong? I’ve told him how I feel, tried understanding how he felt and what he wants, tried almost everything in the book, went out of my way to try and fit his needs, but it has never ever been right. I don’t have an issue with getting hard, and could easily have sex multiple times a day if it’s good. I suggested planning sex, nope. I suggested an open relationship, hell no.
Now he complains about me never wanting to have sex with him, we talk about it, but nothing ever lives past the conversation. Any ideas on what I can do now? I know I don’t want to end it, and would be fine if we both agreed on not doing it anymore, I’m tired of always doing it wrong. I’m just here looking for ideas for us to try.
I’ve been with this guy for 8 months now, he’s my first boyfriend, and my first real relationship. I love him very much, we get along well and rarely argue. He doesn’t think he looks attractive, and most people probably won’t, but I’m extremely attracted to him, I can get hard by him simply touching my arm, and love every single part of his body. The attractiveness is definitely a one way thing. When it comes to sex he’s great on top, but he prefers to be on bottom. I enjoy it when he’s on top, but I always prefer to be on top, however when I am, it’s awful.
We’ve tried many positions in the bedroom, living room, parent’s house, elevator, etc. I bought toys, a cock ring, a jock strap, tried to suggest planning sex, nothing helps.
At first, when we were just beginning he wouldn’t tell me how bad it was, he would just lay there, like a sack of potatoes, emotionless, soundless. I would get so bored sometimes I’d get soft inside of him, and have to force myself to cum. He clearly didn’t enjoy it but always told me it was fine, and “that’s just how he isâ€Â.
Then finally after a few months when we started talking about it he just complained and complained, and I could never get it right. He told me I didn’t last long enough, ok, so I jack off the morning before. Now I last too long. Jack off a day before? Still too short or too long. He says I do it too slow, so I speed it up, too fast. He doesn’t like the position, so I change it, now I’m changing it too much. It took a serious toll on my sex related self-esteem and I just gave up for the most part, and just let him be on top every time just so it would be good for him. With most of the time I’d be faking like I’m enjoying it so it wouldn’t be awkward. I actually told him I faked it sometimes and he didn’t believe me (I must be that good).
Even blowjobs and hand-jobs are terrible, at first he used to take his time to satisfy me, and enjoyed watching my reactions, now he just rushes so much to get it over with I’d rather not have one.
Now it’s been over a month since I’ve been on top, and about two weeks for him, and he is silently refusing to top me until I top him. Am I doing something wrong? I’ve told him how I feel, tried understanding how he felt and what he wants, tried almost everything in the book, went out of my way to try and fit his needs, but it has never ever been right. I don’t have an issue with getting hard, and could easily have sex multiple times a day if it’s good. I suggested planning sex, nope. I suggested an open relationship, hell no.
Now he complains about me never wanting to have sex with him, we talk about it, but nothing ever lives past the conversation. Any ideas on what I can do now? I know I don’t want to end it, and would be fine if we both agreed on not doing it anymore, I’m tired of always doing it wrong. I’m just here looking for ideas for us to try.
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