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Avoiding gay guys? More of a rant really
#11
From what I have learned in my life so far........................

For whatever you think of yourself, there are 5 more people who will see you and think the exact opposite. Seriously.

If you are lucky enough to have these people actually tell you these things, and not just keep it to themselves, then you will see that you are not the freak show you think you are.

As I stated in another thread, I never had any guy make a pass at me until AFTER I gained like 50 pounds!! So, your "fat" has nothing to do with it. I can vouch for that much.

Just because you aren't one of the "pretty, shallow, vain, plastic" people, does not mean you are any less. You are just REAL, not plastic, fake, and phony.

I dont know what you look like, but what made me feel better when I thought these things about myself, was changing my sense of style. I went out and bought all new clothes. Updated, classic style, fashions. I bought updated shoes, and I even got an updated haircut and grew a goatee/mustache.

And even though I still thought I was "fat" and "ugly", *I* felt a LOT better about me. And it was amazing how that tiny, little bit of happiness was being shown to others, as more people noticed me.

It may seem a vain thing to do, but it was not for vanity, it was for change. I kept hearing about "change is good"....blah, blah, blah............

So after about a year of hearing that all the time, I decided to give it a try.
Think about updating yourself.
Go to a nice store that carries your size in clothes and get some fashion ideas/advice.
Go to a reputable salon and get some ideas for new hairstyles.
Can you grow a beard/goatee/mustache? Grow one.
Do you already have one? Shave it off.

Update yourself. Take yourself out one day, and have a "just for me" day. Get new clothes, get a new haircut, get a facial, get a manicure too!

Go wild and clean your home! Scrub it from top to bottom, move things around, reposition your furniture.......you will feel new, like you are starting over on a clean slate. I've done this a few times in my life, and it makes me feel good. And once you start to feel good about YOU, then you dont care what other people think about you. And that is the key, because when you stop caring about what other people think, thats usually when they start noticing you.

Bighug
#12
southbiochem Wrote:Maybe, you should go ou there to make friends first, and not worry too much about BF yet. and then probably you'll actually find one!

Pffff. Well, without wishing to answer back...
- Tried the friends thing. All I can say is that guys must be incredibly superficial because I was frequently ignored at various (sports, cinema) clubs and whatever that I went to.
- Tried the updated look last year. Didn't make any difference whatsoever. Still got given the evil eye at whatever party I went to. And all that happened was that when I put on 7 kg, I now have a wardrobe full of clothes that I can no longer fit into....
- the "I'm fat/ugly" isn't just in my head. Have been told that to my face on numerous dates I've been on. One guy actually told me that even if he was a prostitute he couldn't bring himself to fuck me.
- Haircut? with my receding hairline? LOL.

But anyway, willing to give it a go again but am fast reaching the conclusion that the whole thing is a waste of time and I may as well just stick to straight friendship groups.
#13
This isn't really a solely gay issue, a lot of straight people say the
same thing. I know a few people who would rather spend their Saturdays
at home by themselves for the same reasons you just described.

I know I sometimes feel this way when I'm around my straight friends
who all have a significant other, but I get what your saying that it's a little
different with gay guys cause they usually have a different guy [conquest] every
other week, but just ask yourself, are those guys really truly happy? Did those
relationships really mean anything?

When I get those feelings, I just ask myself those questions and I feel much
better about myself being single.
#14
Thanks guys. I don't mean to be a nasty grouch. Smile
#15
ExpatBrit77 Wrote:Thanks guys. I don't mean to be a nasty grouch. Smile

No problem, and you're not. Everyone needs to rant sometime Smile


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