02-17-2014, 01:05 AM
Not sure what’s going on with me lately – I’m probably in a Valentine’s Day funk or something.
Background: the gay scene where I live (despite being a capital city) is pretty dire – very clichéd and cliquey (I’m too skinny/young to be a bear and too fat/ugly/etc to be a twink). And my gay social circle is fairly limited – essentially my experience has been guys are only interested in friendship if they want to fuck you as well. And since I am too old/fat/ugly/hairy etc…..well, you get the drift.
Basically at the moment am kind of in a “avoid gay guys†kind of mood. A gay friend of mine recently got together with a new boyfriend and is apparently throwing some party to introduce friends to said boyfriend. Really and truly I can’t bring myself to even go. I am single and don’t want to be; it pisses me off that said friend is a million times more good looking than me and for quite a long time didn’t frequent the scene but then of course found a boyfriend within two seconds. And here’s me on countless crappy dates with crap men. That’s when guys aren’t telling me that I am a visual abomination….
Anyway, as a result I can’t even bring myself to go to this party. Our other mutual friends are all going on about the new boyfriend *all the time* and going “oh, it’s so nice that he’s found someoneâ€Â. And yes, I *should* be happy but the whole “new bf†thing is really a sore point for me at the moment. I don't particularly feel like going and making stupid conversation with the new bf because the guy will no doubt be all "oh, so why don't you go out on the scene then?" as if I'm some kind of idiot with no brain cells just because I don't go in bars that make me feel like utter shit about myself.
Sorry - it's not really in need of advice, more like a rant
Background: the gay scene where I live (despite being a capital city) is pretty dire – very clichéd and cliquey (I’m too skinny/young to be a bear and too fat/ugly/etc to be a twink). And my gay social circle is fairly limited – essentially my experience has been guys are only interested in friendship if they want to fuck you as well. And since I am too old/fat/ugly/hairy etc…..well, you get the drift.
Basically at the moment am kind of in a “avoid gay guys†kind of mood. A gay friend of mine recently got together with a new boyfriend and is apparently throwing some party to introduce friends to said boyfriend. Really and truly I can’t bring myself to even go. I am single and don’t want to be; it pisses me off that said friend is a million times more good looking than me and for quite a long time didn’t frequent the scene but then of course found a boyfriend within two seconds. And here’s me on countless crappy dates with crap men. That’s when guys aren’t telling me that I am a visual abomination….
Anyway, as a result I can’t even bring myself to go to this party. Our other mutual friends are all going on about the new boyfriend *all the time* and going “oh, it’s so nice that he’s found someoneâ€Â. And yes, I *should* be happy but the whole “new bf†thing is really a sore point for me at the moment. I don't particularly feel like going and making stupid conversation with the new bf because the guy will no doubt be all "oh, so why don't you go out on the scene then?" as if I'm some kind of idiot with no brain cells just because I don't go in bars that make me feel like utter shit about myself.
Sorry - it's not really in need of advice, more like a rant