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Confused about my sexuality
#21
I have no problem labeling myself as straight. I am attracted to women, but I am currently having sex with a guy. I know he's a man, he is very cute and girly without being overbearing, but still he's a man. From a moral standpoint, people have a need to label themselves. But if you are purely out for your own happiness and enjoyment, why do so? Enjoy whatever you are attracted to. Until last month, I never so much as had an homosexual feelings or thoughts. One innocent kiss from my sexy little friend, and that all changed. I find it's more about passion... does the person you're with care about you as a person? When you have sex, do they give themselves to you? Labeling yourself is a restriction, and why do that?
#22
Precisely!
#23
Anonymous Wrote:Hi,

I consider myself a straight male, but I am also passive and enjoy it when I am touched and kissed. I am not sure if this means I am gay. I am not attracted to men, but I am attracted to being dominated, caressed etc. by men, especially older men.

Does anyone have similar experiences?

Im exactly the same lol it turns me on so much and I'm straight or am I lol god knows hehe
#24
97.2PecentStraight Wrote:I have no problem labeling myself as straight. I am attracted to women, but I am currently having sex with a guy. I know he's a man, he is very cute and girly without being overbearing, but still he's a man. From a moral standpoint, people have a need to label themselves. But if you are purely out for your own happiness and enjoyment, why do so? Enjoy whatever you are attracted to. Until last month, I never so much as had an homosexual feelings or thoughts. One innocent kiss from my sexy little friend, and that all changed. I find it's more about passion... does the person you're with care about you as a person? When you have sex, do they give themselves to you? Labeling yourself is a restriction, and why do that?

That is where that Kinsey scale comes into play... Strangely, I find a slight discrepancy between what you've just said about you being straight sometimes (or most times) and what your profile status says, ie you are in an 'open gay relationship' at the moment. It just shows that our sexuality can be very fluctuating.
While I definitely don't see myself as being sexually attracted to a woman again, I know that I was able to function with a woman (and even love her) and feel satisfied (to a certain extent). Now that I have found myself a partner as I desired all along, I feel more at ease with calling myself gay, but it doesn't necessarily turn off certain triggers, like, for instance, finding a female's personality attractive, or even find a certain charm in their sex appeal and physical appearance. There must be something left in our brains that channels us to that most basic of instincts to procreate, which can only really be done with the other sex.
But inside of me, at the time, there was always that nagging feeling that I was not being true to myself. As far as romance and emotions go, I'm very happy with my current partnership. It's been the best romantic and sexual partnership of the very few that I've had. So it really is, for me at least, all to do with who we can feel passionate about.
#25
spasm Wrote:Im exactly the same lol it turns me on so much and I'm straight or am I lol god knows hehe
I don't know, Spasm... Maybe it shows the whole gamut of emotions that we can feel. It's basically all about letting ourselves free to be who we want or need to be in a society that doesn't readily accept difference so well and at various stages in our lives. The rest is all down to opportunity too. Some will get them, others won't. Some will let themselves go down that path, others won't.
The battle for that freedom is still to be won since so many people still think that being gay or having same sex is wrong. I think it must be difficult to come out to others as bisexual sometimes, lest you should be considered a slut, so maybe it's just easier to 'claim', or 'pretend' to be or 'say to yourself' that you are straight and for the moment accept that our sexual desires also veer towards same sex. Maybe it's just transitional, maybe not. It probably means that what we've experienced in heterosexuality doesn't quite cover the range of emotions and desires that we hold in us. It's all rather complex, if not complicated.
I wonder, Spasm, if you have found it hard to say to yourself: " Hey, I'm having sex with a man... so I must be "gay". ??? er ... Wait a minute! I also enjoy sex with the ladies; they're great fun... so where do I stand? For some people, admitting that they are gay is the ultimate taboo and a difficult place to reach in the mental construction of one's manhood. I hope that makes sense.
#26
Everyone comes to terms with their sexual identities in different ways and at different times in their lives. For instance, I've known that I was attracted to men since I can remember, even before I knew what being gay or having sex meant. My brother, on the other hand, used to dream that he was an attractive boy from school who was having sex with some girl that he was attracted to, and it wasn't until his freshman year of college that he concluded that he was just as attracted to the boy personae in the dream as he was to the female. The only difference was that his subconscious wouldn't let him dream of making love to the boy. Instead, he had to become the boy and then make love to a woman.

I, too, used to date and have sex women, and I was even married for three years in my younger days. However, I always knew that relationships and sex with women were not what I wanted. I simply thought that having sex with women would make me stop being gay. I believe that our sexual orientations are a lot more fluid than we like to think. But, I find it comforting as a gay man to finally be able to embrace my label and to present myself to the public as being "Gay."

Unfortunately, bisexuals get the shaft when it comes to labels, because they are rejected by the straight community for being "Gay" and by the gay community for being able to pass. I also believe that being bisexual is the gay civil rights equivalent to the light-skinned people during the black civil right movement who were able to pass. I even catch myself making snide, stereotypical remarks about bisexuals without thinking first.
#27
I hate labels to be honest with ya so you shouldn't worry about what label you are. If you are straight and you like to be kissed and hugged by older men then so be it. If you are straight and you love to be fucked by a guy or a girl with a strap on so be it, hell with the labels. I used to not care about labels when it came to me but I just know that I am gay or have gay attractions more than anything else so I am comfortable with the gay label
#28
Just be who you are and do what makes you happy.
Pay no attention to what others say and how they try to control what you do with your life and body.
In the end all their shouting and rude remarks is just meaningless noise.


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