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Does "it get better" really?!!!
#1


Biglaugh First with the positive: I must congratulate Joel Burns, Fort Worth City Council Member, for making a youtube video for "It Gets Better" Campaign that I can stand behind!

Now for my "beef" with the "It Gets Better" movement! Firstly, people who are suicidal don't need to hear from people who have a great life that "it gets better"! They need to hear from people who struggled or have struggled with the same problems that these people are going through! No disrespect intended to the celebrities: but I feel that you only want attention and publicity for your "acts of kindness"! How can you honestly hold a straight face broadcasting this message, when you are rich, famous, you have friends, family, people who throw themselves at your feet, and you can have anything you want! Life for you is Good for you, but realistically at this point in your life you don't know what it is to be gay/alone/hated to the point where you feel you are no longer valid in life and want to end it! Furthermore you want to patronize people with a message that is delivered through a 10' pole. I wished that if you are going to offer a message of HOPE then show your realness and willingness to help by providing your contact info.... I don't want you to be stalked, but if you are going to offer hope then offer yourself as the beacon of that hope! be a friend to those who are friendless!!!

Another story of people who want to be "kind" but at a distance! A preacher from Dallas, TX friended me on FaceBook after reading some of my dark thoughts. he told me that i should seek help. Instead of offering himself as a friend to help me through the rough times and speaking to me one on one, he offered and invited me to his church- someplace I could belong! My problem with this is that I am not important enough for the preacher to want to speak with me, but I should go be a member of his church where people wouldn't want to speak to me either. Don't sell me a seat in your church, sir, show me a piece of your heart so that I can feel loved and wanted!
#2
I have to respectfully disagree with the bulk of what you are saying. I think any effort by anyone to reach out and help is great...different people respond to different messages and although there are surely people who will not respond to celebrities there are enough people who will stop and think...maybe get some help or some hope....maybe this will save some lives. It is certainly preferable to doing nothing...saying nothing.
There is no one correct way to help people in crisis. I applaud each and every one of them who took a moment to care and I do not think they are doing it for attention and/or publicity.

A celebrity can only be who they are and if we put our own expectations on to them that is not their problem...it is ours.
#3
thanks for your comment Confusedmile:
#4
LoneSomeDove2182 Wrote:Now for my "beef" with the "It Gets Better" movement! Firstly, people who are suicidal don't need to hear from people who have a great life that "it gets better"! They need to hear from people who struggled or have struggled with the same problems that these people are going through!
But some of the videos that have appeared are from people who have struggled. Those people who have a great life now are testament that it can get better. I look back at my struggles, and my life now, and the world is a much better place for me today than it was in those dark days 13 or 14 years ago. Anything that can help and support people is valuable, and having a varied pallete of life stories to hear is great.
#5
i'm not downing the whole program! I think that the "it gets better" project is wonderful. especially when it is done by people who have lived it! I just think there are problems with rich/famous people who really don't seem to care posting messages to people who need guidance stating "it gets better"
Thanks for your comment very insightful ; )
#6
The thing is it does not get better for everybody. for a lot though it does. I think it's important for those people to speak up. It may just what someone needs to hear at that moment. So even if it helps one person........it's doing a service. Don't you think?Wink Anther thing is I was never suicidal. Although I did go through an 8 year depression and I wish i'd had this project to lean on. I did not know here I was going. So I wish i'd had this.

Mick
Feel free to PM Me. Keep in mind though, you have to catch me at the right moment. I will read everyone though. Want to try your luck? lol
#7
I do appreciate EofE's point of view and what he has said has made me reappraise my own thinking, but I have had some uneasiness over aspects of this campaign since the outset. I am sure most people mean well, but some of the videos I've seen have been a bit stomach-churning and I had to stop watching them. I can fully understand LSD's comments and find myself in sympathy with a lot of what he says.

The worst videos seem to have come from people who are really in a position to do something useful, like challenge those who spread the hate, but have failed to do so. If preachers want us to feel we belong, they have a lot more work to do.

I have a nephew who is prone to writing stupid things on FaceBook about how miserable his life is. One of his so-called "friends" is equally prone to telling him his life is crap because he doesn't have Jesus in it. This all seems part of the same syndrome, where we offer support as long as our hands never get dirty. Maybe I'm just feeling guilty about all the campaigns I fail to engage with on a practical level or the people I keep at arm's length.

I have not yet seen one of those videos that would have given me hope during my suicidal periods, but I guess folks are doing what they can. At least we are talking about the whole issue.
#8
Actions speak louder than words.

For LGBT people, life would get better if there were anti-discrimination laws in place in every country,,,, if every school taught tolerance of those who are different,,,,if gays & lesbians could serve in the military honestly without fear of being discharged for who they are,,,,, if churches taught their parishioners to respect diversity instead of speaking with forked tongues by saying they LOVE us
and then spending hugh sums of money to repress and disenfranchise LGBT people.

Bringing the recent suicides of several LGBT youth to a national level will help by letting the public know that intolerance, repression, & disenfranchisement can and does kill people. Will these suicides change the minds of those who are intolerant bigots? Probably not, but just maybe a few more decent bystanders will be willing to speak up & take action when they witness someone being bullied, ridiculed, or made fun of.

I wouldn't hold my breath anticipating a change of heart in the christian community at large, they'd just wait for me to turn blue and then condemn me for being off color.........:frown:
#9
thanks for your thoughtful comment
#10
:biggrin: thank you dear heart for your thoughtful comment: someone at least understands where i am coming from, whether you agree or not! I agree with you that most but not all leave something to be desired! bless you my friend, I really needed your comment and I thank you


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