Ex is threatening my and my lover, we're scared

[Anonymous]

Some time ago I broke up with my ex and he has gone completely mad since. We were together for 2 years and at first everything was fine but then, as the time went on, he became extremely possessive. I don’t know why but I’m quite sure I didn’t give him any reason. He was jealous at literary everyone I looked at or talked to. He started to control my phone calls and e-mails. From my side I tried everything I could to make our relationships better, I tried reasoning with him, telling him that I’m monogamous person and that if I’m in a relationships I don’t need anyone else but my partner. I thought I loved him and I wanted to save our relationships so I even gave him passwords from my e-mails and let him look through my text messages, I know, silly, however he calmed down when he didn’t find there anything suspicious. However even that didn’t help, after some time his controlling behavior started again. I became tired of this and we started to alienate each from other. And then I met another guy, a wonderful guy with a beautiful, sincere personality. We fell in love and after all these exhausting relationships with my previous boyfriend, I finally felt happy and loved again.

I didn't want to lie to me ex so I had a talk with him when I told him I’m in love with someone else and I want us to break up. I really wanted to break it off as gently as possibly but he started to behave like crazy. He considers us to still be together and looks for every possibility to meet me. He said that if he can’t have me, no one can. Also he used my e-mail before I had managed to change the passwords and my boyfriend received e-mails like „you will die, get yourself a coffin” or „ you dirty slut, my man will never be yours”. Of course my boyfriend got scared and so did I. The last time I saw my ex, like a week ago, he said that he’ll kill both me and my boyfriend and then to not to go to prison he’ll kill himself. I don’t know what to think or do. We spent together 2 years and I think I know him and I don’t think he would be able to do something like that, he’s not that kind of person. But I’ll be honest, I’m scared to go out on street. Luckily he doesn’t know where my boyfriend lives but he knows where I live. Yesterday I received a text message from him with a text „you’re mine, you’ll always be mine and you betrayed me and you'll pay for it” After that I changed my phone number. I'm not so scared about myself as much as I'm scared he might somehow hurt my love. What should I do, guys? Police? Reasoning with him is pointless, as I see. Millions of people break up, so what? Why make such a drama out of it?

[yousir]

Police.
End of.

[East]

He is psycho...don't try to make sense of it.

...and save all of the messages and go to the Police or District Attorney....right now...today!...

Seriously...this guy is insane and you need to take action right away...

[Rareboy]

Police. And a restraining order.

[Camfer]

Yes, restraining order. It is not cheap, but do not shrug this off. Get an attorney asap. Save every email and text he's stupid enough to send you.

[ShiftyNJ]

He was an idiot to use your email account from his own home/device. That's easily traced, and points the finger squarely at him (although it didn't sound like he was trying to hide). you should have no trouble getting a restraining order. And in the meantime relocating even a short distance and breaking habits (do your food shopping somewhere else, etc.) to avoid running into him is probably a good idea. If you can, stay at your boyfriend's place for a while til he calms down. If you are working and he knows where you work, you might want to let your office management know (without getting into detail) that someone has been harassing you and provide a description in case he decides to hang around there waiting for you. I suspect he is looking for attention and will give up since you're not responding, but it's better to be safe than sorry.

[yousir]

The non response is the best response.
Under no circumstances do you EVER respond to him/contact him. these people have a fire burning and you fuel it merely by responding.

They have their own world going on. Their own version of reality. and they will misinterpret everything to suit their delusions.

To you, he does not exist.
Do. Not. Give. Him. Anything. Ever.

Police.

[abcd1234]

First of all I agree with everyone else here.Let police know and get restraining orders But the amazing thing about this is that I wrote and starred in a video a few years ago about this very same thing.I'm an actor and I play this guy who's ex threatens my new boyfriend.He even goes so far as to choke him to death with a ligature. So when I find out what he's done I go over to his apartment and strangle him with my bare hands.When I read your post it just reminded me of that short film I did. At any rate be careful and stay safe.

[Dreamer]

Yesterday I received a text message from him with a text „you’re mine, you’ll always be mine and you betrayed me and you'll pay for it” After that I changed my phone number. I'm not so scared about myself as much as I'm scared he might somehow hurt my love. What should I do, guys?

Are you fucking serious?

Or are you trolling because that's not cool...

If you are serious, you need to call the cops, and safe every text, voice message, email.. etc.. that he sends you. He will fucking kill you!! How can you question his motives and what he "may" do.. His actions and words are literally fucking telling you!!!! He's crazy, he will fucking murder you and your new lover. Get a grip! This aint the movies, it's real life.

It's great you left him before things got physically violent because he has all the signs of a psycho abuser.

Get his ass thrown in jail for threatning your life, get a restraining order, and move out of your house, change your email, address, and phone number... this guy is a death sentence.

[Anonymous]

Thanks for your answers guys. To be honest I also think he does it to get my attention. He has never hurt me physically during these years that's why it's hard for me to believe he'd do something so drastic. And I hope police will give it attention it deserves because my friend had a problem very much like this, her husband was beating her and policr classified that as family argument and didn't do anything. Everything ended fine, luckily.