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Finding Male Friends
#1
Ok I've always found it hard to talk to guys, whenever I go anywhere near them they run away like I'm some sort of disease... So I've found that sticking with girls is the best option for me but don't get me wrong hanging round with girls is amazing, being able to get into all the juicy gossip and being able to be there for your friends is just ... (can't find a suitable word) however sometimes you need the presence of another male not for the obvious attraction reasons but for just the male bonding and friendship... Like to talk about guy things and stuff, which trying to do with girls is awkward and just wrong... Now i just can't seem to find anyone like that because no guy wants to be seen anywhere near me for obvious reasons; being called gay themselves, being cut off from their own group of friends and so on...
Any advice on this, or is asking for a guy friend too much?
#2
I take it you are out then?
Not to be stereotyping, but are you effeminate?

Have you considered befriending other gay or bi guys?

I find it amazingly insightful of you to recognize the need for guys in your life, especially at a very young age, well done dude.

The more you branch out and be who you are and participate in things, activities, hobbies, interests etc. You will find your much needed little buddy or two to tag team havoc with.

Be patient, give it time don't be so focused on finding them and sooner rather than later they will find you. Don't be afraid to let the friendship blossom and flourish when it does happen.
#3
When you say guys go running are you referring to gay guys or straight. If their straight they could just be homophobic, if they're gay, they could just be catty and in there own cliques, you don't need that. Asking for a guy friend isn't asking to much at all. Speaking as someone who has female friends than male, I too sometimes wish I had more male friends. So you're not the only one, but like Etote said give it time and you'll make male friends.
#4
Hi ETOTE, thanks for reading and replying to my post. OK to your first question Am I out? Yeah I'm out and proud of who I am, finally, was a struggle to get to this point but yeah I'm out... mmmm I guess I am more of the stereotypical gay , as in being more girly and emotional and stuff so yeah ...and other than myself I don't know any other openly gay or bi guys which makes things just that bit harder as I feel all alone ... even though I have a group of friends who help and support me 1) they are all girls and 2) none of them are gay so they don't truly understand me which can be frustrating at times but at the same time I feel special that I can say that I'm the only openly gay weird right? Wow I never even thought about activities and stuff like that, I guess I'm too focused on what I see in front of me and not what I could see elsewhere. Patience. .. now thats something that is hard to conquer but I understand what your saying about not focusing on finding guys but waiting for them to find me, only problem is, is that now it turns into this waiting game ...
Anyway I really do appreciate you taking time out of your own life to give advice to me so thank you and I really mean that, yoyuhave helped me a lot ... it does feel nice to finally talk to someone about this, like now I feel as though I've removed a lot of weight from my shoulders relieving meself from all this confusion so again thanks.
#5
SilentFilm1998 Hello, Thank you for the reply and I have no idea if the guys are straight or closeted gays but they all go running ... and have you found male friends yet ? How long did it take ? If you don't mind me asking...
#6
i've always got along with guys better than with females. it comes more naturally. i can't put it into words what it is. i don't really try to make friends, it's something that happens. i think friendship usually is based on sharing things in common, whether that be taste, character, views, or some other major factor. i'm able to relate to guys in a lot of aspects, that really facilitates developing a friendship with someone.
#7
meridannight Wrote:i've always got along with guys better than with females. it comes more naturally. i can't put it into words what it is. i don't really try to make friends, it's something that happens. i think friendship usually is based on sharing things in common, whether that be taste, character, views, or some other major factor. i'm able to relate to guys in a lot of aspects, that really facilitates developing a friendship with someone.

Same for me. I quite like the company of men and I naturally gravitate toward talking to men wherever I am. At one time most of guy friends were gay but they mostly have all died so nowadays my guy friends are mostly straight....

I have discovered something along the way...straight guys are really supportive in general BUT my sexuality is a complete non issue and so that is how I am treated and most of the guys actually appreciate the opportunity to have a gay friend and come to terms with it instantly and it becomes a non issue for them as well.
#8
East Wrote:Same for me. I quite like the company of men and I naturally gravitate toward talking to men wherever I am. At one time most of guy friends were gay but they mostly have all died so nowadays my guy friends are mostly straight....

I have discovered something along the way...straight guys are really supportive in general BUT my sexuality is a complete non issue and so that is how I am treated and most of the guys actually appreciate the opportunity to have a gay friend and come to terms with it instantly and it becomes a non issue for them as well.

Will: Exactly. Most of my guy friends are straight - we have one gay married couple we hang out with, but they're more Adam's friends than mine.

I don't know what advice to give about how to make guy friends, except maybe look for guys that you have something in common with. For me, it's mainly my co-workers. And, as East said, my sexuality is a non issue.
#9
Hmmmmm thanks guys for all your insightful and helpful comments ... It just feels sometimes that no one is actually listening, that whatever you do your still insignificant to the rest of the world, still fighting to keep going and not give up. So this really is an amazing experience to listen to all you guys share your own experiences and advice on certain topics that can really help and change people's lives. When I first decided to look for some kind of way to talk to others who understand what I'm going through, I never expected anything like this... Here people actually care about others and FINALLY NO ONE IS TRYING TO GET INTO YOUR UNDERWEAR. ( Sorry for shouting but it has to be said). Also I would like to thank you all for giving up your time and talking to me, so thanks. .. So this is where I've come to the conclusion that Gay Speak is like a giant family of friendly faces who are always willing to give advice to anyone and everyone who needs it...

THANK YOU GAY SPEAK! !!!
#10
You can make friends on this forum. I realize it isn't as good as having them IRL but for the time being it is better than nothing. Keep coming back. Keep posting. Feel free to talk with us. Share your opinion. Ask questions. Try and be a friend to someone here.

Keep in mind that you are still young. You have lots of time to make guy friends. I realize that doesn't help your need for them now but, like I say, you can make friends here until something changes in your real life.

Welcome to GS.
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