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Gay engagement/ proposal?
#1
None of the following is personal.

I was wondering, when two guys stop being "boyfriends" move in together and become partners, and are living together in unwedded bliss. How do they go about getting engaged?
Does one of them bend down on one knee and propose, like straight couples, wouldn't that be odd?
Do they sit down and talk about the benefits of marriage such as sharing healthcare and whatnot and then agree to what sounds sensibl? That sounds kind of businesslike.
What is the protocol, with gay marriage being so new and all?
It's important to remember that the couple is very happy living together and this is assuming they remain as happy in another year, what happens then?
#2
Unknown.

I grew up in a world where things like Black Presidents and Gay marriage were impossible dreams. It appears times have changed.

I would assume that gay proposals would be absolutely fabulous - but still a proposal. Who pops the question depends on the couple.

On bended knee is romantic, not odd.
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#3
I would imagine that it would depend largely on the people involved. Some would find it romantic to go down on bended knee, others would find it practical to discuss it over a nice meal...I really don't think there would be vast differences between an gay couple and a straight couple proposing marriage...I mean we are talking equality right Wink
#4
In this situation, I would guess he'd make the proposal, he proposes everything so far (ie. move in with me, let's go on an exotic romantic vacation, etc.).

We're not talking about me here, you know, lol :tongue:
#5
Person66 Wrote:In this situation, I would guess he'd make the proposal, he proposes everything so far (ie. move in with me, let's go on an exotic romantic vacation, etc.).

We're not talking about me here, you know, lol :tongue:

Yeah riiiight....

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#6
Like many, i didn't come out till i was in my 30's, but by then I had already dated women, met a girl, asked her to marry me, was engaged and got married. Several years after coming out, i met a man, a year later I asked him to marry me during an event at a local gay bar. (Actually, i had just finished singing "our song" during kareoke, and right after, I kept the microphone and then i asked him to marry me! Lots of smiles, applause and tears - was the perfect setting with so many friends there. Three months later we had a wonderful committment ceremony!

To answer your question, it really depends on YOU! I followed the same path with my gay partner as i did with my female partner. I bought an engagement ring (not a diamond, more a symbolic ring) and then we both went to a jewler to pick out committment rings to exchange during our ceremony.

Regarding benefits, at that time ( we're talking 2000) i was fortunate enough to work for General Electric who had made the decision to extend healthcare benefits to same-sex partners (Yes, we had to prove that we lived together for more than 6 months) but that made things much easier from a healthcare perspective. We also sat down and changed our life insurance beneficiaries to each other.

That relationship ended many years ago, but i've since met, fell in love with and moved in with a wonderful loving man who IS my partner. We've yet to have a ceremony, as we've been focused on our finances (we both owned houses), but once we decided to live together, i filled out my living will, regular will, medical power of attorney and 3 other legal documents where i named him as my legal partner. Yes, it's cold and not the same as signing a Marriage Certificate, i had to do it to protect US.

Our hope is that gay marriage will be the law of the land in the next year or so and at that time we can have our ceremony - if it looks like it will be too many years, we'll go ahead and have a committment ceremony.

Again, to answer your question - everyone's situation/relationship is differnt. My advice, go with your heart, make sure you respect your partner's feelings and go for it. THen, take some time to get the proper legal documents in place to protect your rights - medically, legally and financially!
#7
My cousin and her gf are getting married on New Year's Eve, I don't know about the proposal but she got one hell of a hulking, gaudy ring.
When a subject is highly controversial — and any question about sex is that — one cannot hope to tell the truth. One can only show how one came to hold whatever opinion one does hold. One can only give one's audience the chance of drawing their own conclusions as they observe the limitations, the prejudices, the idiosyncrasies of the speaker.
- Virginia Woolf
#8
Like Bowyn, gay marriage was impossible for much of my life.

As for how to propose such a thing, well, there really are no rules. Whatever fits the couple. A romantic evening and blended knee, "Marry me?" blurted out mid love making or anything else that works would do just fine.
#9
I think bending on one knee is romantic, that's the way I would want to do it and I tear up when I see someone else do it.
#10
Its a nice concept to think about. Ive been dating my bf going on a year now and we are at the point where we are moving in with each other and I do often think about the future and what my goals are in life. I am a romantic by nature and when it comes down to it I want to be the one that makes the gesture and get down on bended knee and ask him for his hand in marriage. Not to get to far ahead of myself Smile I am just excited for the possibility to even do things like this. Its for sure not a one size fits all.... Everyone does get to do it different if they want.


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