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Grief is bothering/affecting me?
#11
(07-13-2021, 11:48 PM)eastofeden Wrote: My condolences - I am very sorry to hear about your sister and I empathize with your current situation.

I have to say that grief isn't something that goes away easily - if ever. What I have learned about grief the hard way is that it doesn't really ever go away when you loved somebody but you DO get used to it and learn to live with it. 

The best tool I have learned to use is to remember that as long as I am here still so is a part of the person I am grieving for - because I loved them. The love doesn't die and it truly is a powerful force and it can help you heal and learn to cope with it - give it time.

Thank you @eastofeden

I really hope I will get better in the future.
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#12
[Image: Grief+never+ends.+But+it+changes.+It%E2%...rmat=1000w]
Heart  Life's too short to miss an opportunity to show your love and affection!  Heart
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#13
If you have a local Hospice agency, they provide free grief guidance and counseling without having to see a therapist. If in that outreach you continue to suffer from depression then you may want to talk to your doctor and even consider a counselor to help devise a plan for recovery. Lovelove
Heart  Life's too short to miss an opportunity to show your love and affection!  Heart
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#14
(07-17-2021, 07:42 AM)soulfulriver Wrote:
(07-13-2021, 09:56 PM)Bookworm Wrote: @soulfulriver  I'm sorry to hear this news. Losing someone close is probably the hardest thing any of us will have to contend with in our lives.

Treasure those memories you have of your sister, the good and the bad, as they are all part of your shared experiences. Don't let that feeling of guilt get in the way; after all, she wouldn't want to see you suffering like this. She would want you to go on and lead a happy and productive life, as best you can.
You could divert your energy into other activities, as Ian suggests, to keep your mind occupied. This doesn't mean you have to stop thinking about her, it just channels your focus into different areas and can help ease the burden of grief that you're feeling.

Grief can affect people in different ways. Personally, I try and focus on all the shared experiences I was privileged to have with them, in the time we had. I even talk to some of them from time to time in my head, just to acknowledge that I'm still thinking of them. I'll even light a wee candle sometimes, to mark specific days, like the birthdays of people I've lost. Just little things like that. The list of missing people from my life gets longer, the older I become (I have a healthy supply of candles now)

Thank you @Bookworm

I'm also considering to volunteer and help out in a dog shelter. I love dogs very much and I think I will enjoy myself volunteering there. It might be also helpful to shift my thoughts and attention to something else.
That's a great idea. Unless you already own a pet, adopting an animal could also be an excellent way to redirect your thoughts, especially if you are home alone a lot.
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#15
I’m so sorry for your loss. My younger brother died 3 years ago and it took a long time to manage my grief so I could function again. Often I still think of things I want to tell him, stuff from our past and even current things he’d enjoy.

I want to encourage you to give yourself time to come to terms with your loss. Time works, unfortunately sometimes too slow for our liking. Don’t give yourself a schedule or expectations when to overcome your grief. It takes as long as it takes.
Bernd

Being gay is not for Sissies.
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#16
(07-17-2021, 03:54 PM)ChadCoxRox Wrote: If you have a local Hospice agency, they provide free grief guidance and counseling without having to see a therapist. If in that outreach you continue to suffer from depression then you may want to talk to your doctor and even consider a counselor to help devise a plan for recovery. Lovelove

Thank you @ChadCoxRox

I will search if there is any local agency available near my place.
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#17
(07-17-2021, 05:40 PM)calgor Wrote:
(07-17-2021, 07:42 AM)soulfulriver Wrote:
(07-13-2021, 09:56 PM)Bookworm Wrote: @soulfulriver  I'm sorry to hear this news. Losing someone close is probably the hardest thing any of us will have to contend with in our lives.

Treasure those memories you have of your sister, the good and the bad, as they are all part of your shared experiences. Don't let that feeling of guilt get in the way; after all, she wouldn't want to see you suffering like this. She would want you to go on and lead a happy and productive life, as best you can.
You could divert your energy into other activities, as Ian suggests, to keep your mind occupied. This doesn't mean you have to stop thinking about her, it just channels your focus into different areas and can help ease the burden of grief that you're feeling.

Grief can affect people in different ways. Personally, I try and focus on all the shared experiences I was privileged to have with them, in the time we had. I even talk to some of them from time to time in my head, just to acknowledge that I'm still thinking of them. I'll even light a wee candle sometimes, to mark specific days, like the birthdays of people I've lost. Just little things like that. The list of missing people from my life gets longer, the older I become (I have a healthy supply of candles now)

Thank you @Bookworm

I'm also considering to volunteer and help out in a dog shelter. I love dogs very much and I think I will enjoy myself volunteering there. It might be also helpful to shift my thoughts and attention to something else.
That's a great idea. Unless you already own a pet, adopting an animal could also be an excellent way to redirect your thoughts, especially if you are home alone a lot.

Thank you @calgor

I don't own any pets currently. I will consider adopting a pet dog from my local dog shelter in the future.
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#18
(07-17-2021, 06:04 PM)Bhp91126 Wrote: I’m so sorry for your loss. My younger brother died 3 years ago and it took a long time to manage my grief so I could function again. Often I still think of things I want to tell him, stuff from our past and even current things he’d enjoy.

I want to encourage you to give yourself time to come to terms with your loss. Time works, unfortunately sometimes too slow for our liking. Don’t give yourself a schedule or expectations when to overcome your grief. It takes as long as it takes.

Thank you @Bhp91126

I'm sorry for the loss of your younger brother.

Sure, I'll take my time to overcome this grief.
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