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How do I find a boyfriend in college? I'm sooooooo desperate.
#1
Hi everyone, I'm new here.

I've been single for all my life. Never had a boyfriend, never had sex, so I'm pretty much clueless as to how an inexperienced guy like me can find one in college. I know desperation isn't attractive, but honestly I'm pretty much at the point where I'm super desperate for a boyfriend, as in I NEED a man as soon as possible or else it's the end of the world sort of feeling. Like, I'm rushing to be in a serious long-term relationship with a guy that can give me all the love and security that I've always needed.

I have a tendency to scout around college campus to see if I can spot any "potential mates" that might be gay/bi, but of course when I do see one that I feel might be gay, I chicken out at the last minute, and when it's too late I feel nothing but regret for not making a move. For me to approach a random guy takes so much courage. Like, what am I supposed to say to him without looking awkward? What if he thinks I'm ugly? What if he's actually straight? What if he rejects me? There's so many "what if's" popping in my mind, it's giving me so much anxiety.

Now, on the other hand, I haven't yet tried the LGBT clubs that are available in my college because they only have it on Mondays, which doesn't fit with my schedule as I only have classes Tuesdays and Thursdays. Plus, I don't think any of the guys in my classes are gay, which is unfortunate.

What's a lonely guy like me to do? How do I even get a boyfriend? I don't want to go on dating websites because it kinda scares me, so college seems to be my only option at this moment.
#2
If you want to try having a boyfriend, you'll probably need to get out of your comfort zone. Why not go to the club anyway, regardless of if you have classes that day?

To be honest, you need to calm down a bit. You're jumping from ground zero into "I have to have a committed long-term relationship RIGHT NOW". It doesn't work that way.
[Image: Signature500.jpg][Image: Signature502.jpg]
#3
Well, does your campus have an LGBT organization? That might be a good place to start, unless you find someone sooner, because anything is possible...
#4
try dating apps like planetromeo and okcupid ..
#5
TwisttheLeaf Wrote:If you want to try having a boyfriend, you'll probably need to get out of your comfort zone. Why not go to the club anyway, regardless of if you have classes that day?

To be honest, you need to calm down a bit. You're jumping from ground zero into "I have to have a committed long-term relationship RIGHT NOW". It doesn't work that way.

I mean... I would like to go, but it feels inconvenient when I have no classes that day. There needs to be convenience in my schedule, or else I won't have any motivation to go.

I also have to rely on my dad for transportation since idk how to drive yet. So, if he drove me to college on Mondays (which is the day of the LGBT club) he would probably get suspicious. So yeah, transportation is partly the reason for me not going as well.

Unless I can modify my schedule and get my driver's license, this wouldn't be a problem!
#6
Doesn't focus in find, focus on being. Be you, and you will get noticed by someone who really likes the way you are (and it's the most important in finding someone for a long term)

... and try to avoid sites where is more easy to find assholes. Do this and you'll be fine Wink
#7
I find the best way to snag a boyfriend on campus you require 4 things.
This short clip will go into detail.


but in all seriousness, your young and have plenty of time to get a BF so dont let it bother you.
You would probably do well to join some clubs IE anime club or book club or something to get into a group of people with similar interests.
Then see if anyone there is compatible with you.
"When you think all is forsaken,
Listen to me now
You need never feel broken again
Sometimes darkness can show you the light
" ~Disturbed
#8
SilverBullet Wrote:but in all seriousness, your young and have plenty of time to get a BF so dont let it bother you.
You would probably do well to join some clubs IE anime club or book club or something to get into a group of people with similar interests.
Then see if anyone there is compatible with you.

I went to a video game club once, but everyone was sorta just doing their own thing. A bunch of guys were on their laptop playing Starcraft, and some other kids playing Pokemon together, while I was left hanging by myself waiting for others to talk to me. God, so freaking awkward. Like... I was expecting to make some new friends but no one even introduced themselves to me. Maybe I should have made the first move, but still.

Speaking of which, I'm afraid the LGBT club (or any other clubs for that matter) might end up the same way, too, with no one talking to me. :/
#9
MisterLonely Wrote:Speaking of which, I'm afraid the LGBT club (or any other clubs for that matter) might end up the same way, too, with no one talking to me. :/

Typically "nothing worth having comes easy and nothing that comes easy is worth having"
get out there boi, don't rely on others to lay down a road for you, make your own! Smile
If the other guys do not say hello and introduce themselves, then introduce YOURSELF and say hello Smile. Less awkward than standing in a corner watching everyone else.
"When you think all is forsaken,
Listen to me now
You need never feel broken again
Sometimes darkness can show you the light
" ~Disturbed
#10
@MisterLonely, I think you'll find that the secret of finding compatible people, be it for friendship, or be it for more, is to mingle. I would suggest that you join some groups of interest to you. Let's say you enjoy reading, then join a reading group. If you can sing, join a choir or singing group, etc... talk to your classmates on issues pertaining to the course, and then once that ice is broken, you can start finding some interest in who they are as friends (or at least work colleagues). The thing is to get to know people, who, in turn, also know people.

You probably won't find your boyfriend just going out looking for him with intent. He will probably come to you in an unexpected way, through a social network that you need to try and construct from the base. You might meet a female student who you like who will have a gay brother or have a gay friend etc...

Steer clear of binge drinking, if you can, as that won't give anyone the best impression of who you are. Be kind to people, it's always appreciated, and learn to give (including clues of who you are). Last but not least, listen and then you can act on what you hear. Suppose a boy you quite like mentions something he likes and you can get that boy something related to the thing he likes, you can come up with a little surprise (a surprise gift) that might start you on your way to a good friendship or maybe more, if he is so inclined.


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