This sounds to me like your boyfriend needs rough/dominant sex. What bothers me is that it sounds like you 2 ddin't have a discussion about what turns him on - i mean an open and honest discussion about this. Just yelling or telling him to "go easy" isn't going to cut it.
It sounds to me like he gets off on degrading you (note, its not YOU specifically, but rather he enjoys sexually dominating/humilating his partners).
Now, clearly this is something you need to confirm with him and then decide if you want to be a willing participant in this type of sex. It's NOT uncommon, but i am surprised that he didn't tell you this upfront. If you're not into rough sex, and he "needs it" to be intimate, then it's best you move on. If you want to make your LTR work, then you need to use a "safe word" - somethign like "balloon" (nothign sexual) taht when you use it, he HAS to stop what he's doing. This technique gives you the final say in how rough, intense a scene gets and also educates HIM on your limits.
All that said, if he can't have sex WITHOUT it becomming rough and degrading, you have a problem and should consider moving on.
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The rough sex theory might work had he not kicked him on the way out and in this instance one person is not consenting (or even an adult) so none of this is OK . This guy is abusive.
I donât know what ticked him off, because heâs not abusive or anything.
Really abusive people are usually textbook "nice" until the demon inside them takes over......
Anyway what can I say to him to set him straight and make sure he knows how he acted was out of order (when we usually fight we just forget about it the next day, but they are never physical) because he has been texting me all day asking why Iâm angry because âit was just a stupid fightâ when its not...
If he does not recognize what he did and take responsiblity for it you have a big problem on your hands.
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Pushing you down and kicking you is abuse.
Leave him - now.
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I am not usually one to interfere in a relationship, however this one has danger written all over it.
I have to agree with monk on this one.
RUN!! Do not walk , do not talk , just get the heck out of this before he kills you.
I have seen this before , talking is not going to get through to him.
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laying on the ground taking a kick to the tummy gives you the image of I submit, therefor in his eyes you are his bïtch. I am not saying violence is the way but you've gotta show him"
NO I've had enough". Just like dogs if you don't set up rules, eventually they will start pissing on you. But remember that a non violent resistance can and often is more effective then a violence, as violence often just provokes more. I would suggest you to read about Satyagraha, its about non violent political resistance and Gandhis philosophy that helped India to break free from the British empire but many parts can still be relevant in terms of a relation.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Satyagraha
Sometimes you need a bit of chaos in your life to be able to shrug off pitiful disdain about something meaningless.
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^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
What they all said.
Danger, danger, danger! Your man is violent and he has PROVEN it. Get out while you can.
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Well for one I think your boyfriend needs a slap and two I reckon you should get out of that relationship as that is kind of a warning sign, I know I certainly wouldn't put up with that.
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I am from Louisiana originally, and we do things a little differently there. I cannot tell you what to do, but my first inclination is that you LEAVE HIM. If you absolutely will not leave him, I had an aunt that was in a similarly abusive situation and she wouldn't leave him due to her religious beliefs; she waited till he was asleep and then proceeded to beat him about the head and shoulders with a cast iron skillet. She broke his shoulder blade and his nose and told him that is he ever hit her again she would kill him...he never hit her again.
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If you just had sex gone a bit wrong, that would be one thing. But he kicked you before leaving.
That is so wrong. That's abuse. And you should never put up with it. From what you've told us, it sounds like this will happen again and get worse. So you have to leave and never look back.
Be careful with him, though, his temper might show during the breakup. Make sure you break up in a public place, avoid being alone with him.
Be strong, you're doing the right thing.
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