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How to have straight friends?
#1
I'm 27 and still have issues accepting that guys are straight and that its not possible to accept this. How do you guys do it? Esp when they're cute or interesting or charming? I wanna flirt, but i know that I don't have boundaries if we are getting along, and i want them to want me back.

How do you even act??? I have girl friends but girls are a lot easy to be 'myself' with, and i don't feel judged about acting effiminate/masculine.

I just wanna BE, and not worry about how i come off to them. I imagine this is how straight guys feel about being aroudn girls.

Okay. Thank you a lot. Any advice would be really appreciated and needed.
#2
I dunno, man... most of my friends are straight guys, and I've had no problems coming out to them Confusedhrug:

As for flirting, well... just don't. If they know you're gay, let them make the first move.
#3
Well initially reading your post, I assumed it was a sarcastic jest, But further on it is obvious you are serious. And in that case I second Tuco. Just relax, sit, stare and pretend that the beer binging and touchdowns are the most fascinating events man has ever conjured up!
#4
Not really sure what the secret (if any) to having straight friends is. I'm bisexual, not Gay so I suppose that's helped me and I'm quite masculine aswell.
I guess you've just got to be yourself, it probably helps if you make friends with straight guys who you aren't attracted to. If you are attracted to them you just have to shake the "crush" off because they're straight and there's a highly likely chance that they won't feel the same way back so it's better off just shrugging off any attraction to them and enjoy their company and friendship.
#5
At this specific time in my life all my close friends except for my lover are seriously hyper masculine straight guys....nice looking guys...the kind women like alot:biggrin:....my gay friends have pretty much all died....and I hang out with these guys and the funny thing...of course they look at women all the time and they know I am gay...oddly enough they are extremely protective and supportive of me and Dave's relationship....moreso than most people...I have never figured that part out yet...just surprising to me for some reason...they are actually really very sweet and caring...LOL

.....so back to the women...I dont' care when they do that but one time the four of us were in my car and I stopped to check out this guy's ass and they all started hooting and I laughed and I told them I DEMAND equal time damnit...now they try to find me guys and they have actually figured out exactly what I like and point them out to me...even my gay friends couldn;t do that:biggrin:...I don't really like that many guys and I have an extremely specific type and now they know the kind of guys ass I like to look at...it is funny to hear them try to "help me":biggrin:......

As for flirting...NO...NEVER. It is disrespectful IMO...I can't stand it when a woman constantly wants to flirt with me when she knows I am gay...makes my skin crawl and it is very annoying after awhile....and I expect this is how a straight man feels with a gay man who either does it or if he senses he wants to. I love my straight friends...I want them to be who they are and I want to be who I am and I love the respect we have for each other.

Mutual respect opens alot of doors and builds bridges....people are entitled to their boundaries and if you are any kind of friend you will respect them and hopefully learn to respect yourself as well.
#6
Most of my male friends are straight. I don't go and try to befriend attractive guys because I know that will complicate things but even the straight friends that I found attractive, I got over them with time. I'd take MysteriousBoy's advice... try not to befriend straight guys that you're attracted to?
#7
Thank you all for your thoughts.

So befriend the hot ones is a rough zone.. and befriend ones i'm not attracted to, and focus on their negative qualities.

When I'm with one of the guys tho, how do I take my thoughts from thinking 'oh god hes so cute i want him to LIKE me,' to 'oh this guy is just a friend.'

I think this situation would be helped if I had a boyfriend. or something.

Sincerely,

Sadly Single
#8
mooninleo Wrote:Thank you all for your thoughts.

So befriend the hot ones is a rough zone.. and befriend ones i'm not attracted to, and focus on their negative qualities.

When I'm with one of the guys tho, how do I take my thoughts from thinking 'oh god hes so cute i want him to LIKE me,' to 'oh this guy is just a friend.'
I think this situation would be helped if I had a boyfriend. or something.

Sincerely,

Sadly Single

You just need to remember and keeping telling yourself that he is out of bounds. That no matter how much you like him or want him to like you, it's not going to happen. It'll probably be hard at first and you might never fully give up hope, but it'll definitely get better once you realise and accept that he really is straight and he's interested in girls and girls only. Some things you just have to accept aren't going to happen and weren't meant to be and move on. Smile
#9
Anyone would think we don't have self-control! Straight men and women work and play together every day without complications, so there's no reason why we can't either. Part of being civilised is in understanding, knowing and accepting who is off-limits and behaving accordingly.

I would not dream of coming on to any of the men I work with, but that doesn't mean there isn't room for a bit of playful banter at times . Wink
#10
I've never had that much trouble with straight friends, at least with them you can be sure they have no feelings for you. Gay friendships are harder.
When a subject is highly controversial — and any question about sex is that — one cannot hope to tell the truth. One can only show how one came to hold whatever opinion one does hold. One can only give one's audience the chance of drawing their own conclusions as they observe the limitations, the prejudices, the idiosyncrasies of the speaker.
- Virginia Woolf


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