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Human dating poison? Is it me?
#21
Ya he would feel bad after awhile and of course at first I would cry and cry b/c I had never been treated or talked to in that way so it was kinda shock at the time. I was 19 / early 20's & I could understand how my partner who loved me so much could treat me that way. Eventually I just got use to it I mean it still hurt real bad, but I did learn how to stop crying. That is a part of myself I will never get back it take a lot to hurt my feelings now a days. Through the time we spent to get I had to learn to be strong enough to blow him off act like it didn't bother me so he would leave me alone. Eventually learned how to play his game & turn it around on him. Not a skill I'm proud of, but I generally am a strong person/ survivor.
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#22
maybe I´m wrong ... but for me it seems that you should find you own way ... and not doing what others want you to do..... or recall in your mind how someone wanted you years ago and take this - for you - wrong worth and way as a basic for a new relationship....

- did someone understand what I want to say ?...
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#23
In slightly better words, maybe this, Fenris, but I think you were clear...

"maybe I´m wrong ... but for me it seems that you should find you own way ... and not do what others want you to do..... nor recall how someone wanted you years ago and keep this - for you - sense of worthlessness and take this new sense of self worth as a basis for a new relationship....

- did someone understand what I mean ?... "
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#24
georgemarc22 Wrote:So thats awesome and everything but how do I transition into dating. I have no idea what I'm doing. I pretty sure I come across like a crazy special person.

So who said there was anything wrong with being both crazy and special????
No, you are just like a formerly battered wife and it takes both courage to get out there again and and to make a stand for your new found self. You don't have to take any bullshit anymore, and won't stand for it. Presumably you are not the only one who's been through this sort of abuse. I'm sure there is someone out there with a similar experience who would make a wonderful, loving partner for you, strong from the experience that you both hold. As I said, avoid the meat rack. Keep talking on sites like this one, eventually you'll find someone valuable and worth your trouble.
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#25
princealbertofb Wrote:In slightly better words, maybe this, Fenris, but I think you were clear...

"maybe I´m wrong ... but for me it seems that you should find you own way ... and not do what others want you to do..... nor recall how someone wanted you years ago and keep this - for you - sense of worthlessness and take this new sense of self worth as a basis for a new relationship....

- did someone understand what I mean ?... "

yes... right @ pa ... :-) today I´m such a idiot... can´t do anything right....
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#26
I don't think so Fenris, you are doing fine... and helping a lot. Thank you. Confusedmile:
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#27
It takes a long time to get over an abusive relationship, but gradually the confidence comes creeping back.
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#28
Hi! I can relate to what you are saying...I had a similar situation when I was young...lasted four years and I let this man completely dominate me and abuse me emotionally and mentally...he tried the physical once but I told him I would kill him if he ever touched me again and I meant it.

He isolated me from everyone the best he could but I ended up doing his work for him...he was extremely manipulative and controlling. He convinced me I was a piece of garbage and if I left him I would be alone forever and he actually made me believe it which was no easy feat as I worked around tons of gay men and had alot of guys who had crushes on me and I had offers all the time.

My advice..."date" yourself for awhile...I was 24 when this relationship ended and I was shell shocked afterward. The reason I say "date" yourself..you need time to heal and to understand the dynamics that exist inside you that allowed you to accept this behavior from him.
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#29
princealbrtofb, what amazing advice you've given. The majority of what you have written is applicable to most daters who find it frustrating finding Mr. Right, in a sea of superficial arseholes. I know I found it quite accommodating, and nifty, thank you.
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#30
Aaycle Wrote:princealbrtofb, what amazing advice you've given. The majority of what you have written is applicable to most daters who find it frustrating finding Mr. Right, in a sea of superficial arseholes. I know I found it quite accommodating, and nifty, thank you.

You are welcome my dear Aaycle... Confusedmile:
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