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I feel like a puppy looking through the bars on the window at the pound!
#1
:frown: My life of loneliness and heartache is slowing killing me! I feel like a puppy looking through the bars on the window at the pound! I can't imagine why people I see go right past me to look/play and take home other dogs and don't even give me a second glance, if they've even given me a first one! I sit here on this cold floor and everytime I open my eyes I see someone walk past, my tail starts to wag, but like the times before they keep on going and don't even look in my direction! I have used all the cute puppy tricks and still no one! I don't know maybe I'm worthless and they see something in me that I don't see! Maybe a dog with a rough past is too much for people's heart to take. Or maybe I have some sticker on my cell saying to people DON'T BRING THIS ONE HOME!!! SCHEDULED FOR DESTRUCTION! I'm housebroken/playful and if given half a chance would sure to be Man's Best Friend! I don't even bite, unless you want me to!I haven't had the best life to start out-so I may bare my teeth in the beginning, but if you would be willing to spend time with me and give some TLC, I am sure I would make you proud! Sadly for me I am sure that I will end up like my next door neighbor and go to that scary room in the back, the one where you don't come back out!
#2
I know how you feel. i was like that for 8 years. 8 long years. I did not think it would end. But it did. You've just keep you're head up. Wonderful things do happen. Hey if you want to talk PM me:biggrin:
Feel free to PM Me. Keep in mind though, you have to catch me at the right moment. I will read everyone though. Want to try your luck? lol
#3
Thanks for stopping by to reply! Thanks for the promise of hope! XOXOXOConfusedmile:
#4
Oh hey everybody deserves happiness. And it's out there. You just have to not give up on yourselfRemybussi

Mick
Feel free to PM Me. Keep in mind though, you have to catch me at the right moment. I will read everyone though. Want to try your luck? lol
#5
i sure hope so...
#6
you should really watch out for some friends near you ... i think that is very,very important for you ... and for your soul.
Proud to be Gay & Pagan
)O(

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31.10 Samhain, All Hallows Eve, Halloween
21.12 Yule
STOP eating Animals !
#7
wishes i felt i had some close by, but like Darth Vader i am no longer to be prevented from corruption because it's too late, but looking to find the one who will see that little piece in me that will set me free from destruction
#8
Too tired from life to do so, but thanks for stopping by and commenting ; )
#9
Confusedmile: I sincerely thank all the comments yesterday and those who PM me! I hope you are all blessed today 0 ; ) XOXOXO

That being said, I don't want people to worry about me! I am severely unhappy, but I'll be fine! I have no choice. Life goes on one step at a time! My life just sucks and will always suck and that's something I'll have to just come to terms with. Not everyone can be happy, so maybe I am just meant to suffer forever. It is quite possible that when happiness was being given out, I just pulled the smallest straw! But, I am okay with it really! I know the usual response to me is: happiness comes from within, etc. That is my problem! I am dead inside and no longer have happiness inside and infact it has been so long since I have felt happy, I can't even remember what happiness feels like anymore! There are some people who are meant to live, some people who could care either way, and those that feel no matter how positive or negative their life is or will become- they just don't fit into life like everyone else! WARNING!!! I am not suicidal or going to end my life, so please no responses in that manner! In fact, I have kind of grown accepting of the heartache, pain and disappointment life has to offer me! I'm pretty much used to it by now and so it doesn't bother me! I have never had nor probably will I have a TRUE FRIEND! I have never been wanted (in any way)! I have never been kissed, held hands, had sex, or loved anyone in that way! I just look forward to a life of lonliness mainly because I'm not sure that even if given the chance to be happy, that i could be-- yes i understand that about myself, im screwed up! no one knows how separated from life i have become nor do they understand it and I can't blame them, hell, i don't understand it myself sometimes! I have given up on life only because it gave up on me first! For so long now almost 20 years!, that now I don't know how to live like a normal human being! I am functional, I go to work everyday and contribute to society, but ill never be "normal"! I have visions of what i think happiness would be in my life, but sadly everytime I try to better my situation my life becomes like quick sand and the harder I struggle to stay above the sand I keep sinking further down! I look at my life like a skiing accident! Imagine being trapped just underneath the water every second of your life, just under the water to where you can see the air above you, but youll never be able to take a breath! This is how my life is! I feel like everyday I see happiness, but much like the carrot dangled in front of the horse, i will never get it! But that doesn't keep me from trying! Everyday when I wake up my first thought is GD i made it another day! I just wish whatever is keeping me here on this earth would let me know what I am to do here, because i honestly don't know!
#10
Honestly, I am confounded. You seem to want happiness, but then shun the idea of being happy, as you have decided that if you were to find happiness, you would not know what to do with it. You, are conflicted, and I think (may be wrong) you need professional help. Someone who will go in-depth about the reasons for your vacillation about wanting and shunning happiness.


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