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I have a crush, but is he gay?
#1
I'm sure this isn't a unique situation, but I need help regardless. There's this guy at my school that I think is REALLY handsome. I only know him by name, and I've never spoken to him. Is it unusual to walk up to someone and ask if they're gay an interested in a date? It seems somewhat abrupt to me, but maybe I'm just paranoid?
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#2
That could scare him away, since you've never had any contact with him.

Do you have any mutual friends/acquaintances? Maybe they could help you break the ice with him.
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#3
I'm in the same situation Smile . Yeah it might be a bit sudden if you just go up to him and ask him out, because you don't know how he will react, or if he will take you seriously. I would say slowly try to become friends with him, and get to know him a bit better. Then you can at least judge if it is appropriate to make a move (and how to do so) and what his reaction will be. Good Luck!

Chris
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#4
Let us assume a moment he wasn't cute and you didn't have a potential love interest in him, but you thought he was pretty cool and would like to make friends with him.

What would you do? (Don't tell me, tell yourself).

I fail to understand why it is that people, humans especially, have this terrible need to make potential romance partners into something so huge and scary. I mean its not like you do not want to be friends with a partner, thus one would think that striking up a friendly relationship with a potential romance would be be important enough to cool the jets and approach the person with friendly goals set.

We elves have a different method of approach, we get our pet squirrels to throw acorns (or other nuts) and people we are potentially interested in.... That gets the interest of the potential mate into figuring out who ordered the rain of nuts. Of course if they are elven they understand that this is the first step in a 132 step mating ritual that lasts about 10.8 years. :tongue: :biggrin:
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#5
I agree make friends, if the romance happens great, if not you still have a new friend. You will get to know him and, find out if he really is date material or not. Who knows he might not be the person you think he is at all.

Hmm there are squirrels in my hickory trees and, a lot of nuts did hit the house this fall. (of course that might be because I have 4 such trees close to the house.):biggrin:
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#6
I disagree with the whole 'friends' thing, having a 'friend' is completely different to having a date, I don't see the need to blend the two.
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#7
I would be doing some acquaintance snooping if I were you.
After all , he might just spook if you come at him with it.

School is such a cruel battlefield, snoop first.
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#8
Tombo Wrote:I disagree with the whole 'friends' thing, having a 'friend' is completely different to having a date, I don't see the need to blend the two.

That confuses me unless you mean hook up, not date. The yeah, if that's your thing friends don't matter.

But for a date, wouldn't you want to actually like the person not just the body?
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#9
Tombo Wrote:I disagree with the whole 'friends' thing, having a 'friend' is completely different to having a date, I don't see the need to blend the two.

you know... your life partner usually becomes your best friend. It's not a bad idea to start that long journey with friendship too.
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#10
If I were you I wouldn't go and ask him if he is gay or not. It's not really polite. He is at your school so I guess that makes it a whole lot easier as you, guys, can see each other pretty often.
Don't be too blunt, talk to him on Facebook, join the same club. Like if he is on basketball team, go for basketball team. Just try to become his friend and then you'll see how it goes.
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