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• Love - But Short of a Relationship

• Love - But Short of a Relationship

  grant > 01-12-2012, 05:48 AM

  I'm a shy, closeted senior in high school, and I've had a huge crush on a popular closeted guy for over 3 years now. I know for a fact that he is gay and feels the same way towards me, but we've never become friends or anything and we almost never talk. And what makes things harder is that we don't have any classes together, so i never get to see him anymore (unless we pass each other in the halls and make awkward eye contact). I just don't know what to do. It also doesn't help that i"m a nervous wreck around him and that whenever I talk to him I just make a fool out of myself and my words don't come out right. Advice anyone? I really wanna tell him how I feel before we head off to college in a few months :frown:

• Love - But Short of a Relationship

  cmj1985 > 01-12-2012, 05:57 AM

  just relax and start with the basics like say hi hows it goin get a good base goin then maybe sugest maybe go for coffee? thats usually a good start

• Love - But Short of a Relationship

  AlephNull > 01-12-2012, 05:59 AM

  grant Wrote:I'm a shy, closeted senior in high school, and I've had a huge crush on a popular closeted guy for over 3 years now. I know for a fact that he is gay and feels the same way towards me, but we've never become friends or anything and we almost never talk. And what makes things harder is that we don't have any classes together, so i never get to see him anymore (unless we pass each other in the halls and make awkward eye contact). I just don't know what to do. It also doesn't help that i"m a nervous wreck around him and that whenever I talk to him I just make a fool out of myself and my words don't come out right. Advice anyone? I really wanna tell him how I feel before we head off to college in a few months :frown:

  This sounds adorable and depressing at the same time. Adorable because I remember my crush on boys in high school. Depressing because never coming out or allowing myself to experience the joys of a loving relationship was devastating. It hurt. I wanted so badly to do the things the other kids did with the guys (that I might have been able date). You know, go to the movies and kiss and dance and blah blah blah. but I couldn't.
  
  Next time you pass him in the hall just ask for his number and hang out. Then pop the question. Don't let this opportunity pass you by. I made the mistake of not asking guys out for fear of being outed. I missed out on so much, some of that great youth (which I still have left mostly) wasted without so much as single date with the boys I crushed on. Don't wait. Seriously.

• Love - But Short of a Relationship

  azulai > 01-12-2012, 08:06 AM

  
  I agree with the guys above. You need to go for it. Do you even have different lunch periods in your schedule? (what about a game or assembly type thing?) I was thinking if he's talking to a mutual friend, go up to the mutual friend and then turn and talk to your crush. Include him in the conversation, maybe ask his opinion. Then try asking what music he is into? what video games he plays? Anything, like that and then casually say something like we should hang out some time. See what happens.
  
  Hey, if you know he's gay and there's a little interest, I hope you take a chance. We all worry about making a fool of ourselves but you know what? We need to worry about those chances that we miss. Push yourself. I promise you he's as nervous as you and then later these are the things you laugh and tease about together.
  
  I was closeted in hs and my first 2 years of college. Like AlephNull said, no dances, no dates, nothing. If I wouldn't have pushed myself, I wouldn't have met the incredible guy who is now in my life. We actually went to Homecoming last semester because both of us missed that stuff in hs. We had silly fun with mutual friends. You will be surprised how much it matters.
  
  I recommend taking things slow and building a friendship. Everyone can use another friend. mile: Also, you need to make sure he's someone you want to hang around. And, just really try to have an attitude of having fun.
  
  And, even if this doesn't work out it's a start for when you go to college and you see a cute guy in the LGBT Center. :tongue:
  
  Go for it!

• Love - But Short of a Relationship

  grant > 01-13-2012, 03:43 AM

  Thank you so much for the responses guys this really helps me A LOT! mile: I wish I could tell you that I have the same lunch period as him, but I don't. :frown: I also wish i could tell you that we have mutual friends, but unfortunately we don't. I feel like in a way my situation is like Romeo and Juliet because our friend groups HATE EACH OTHER! I remember one time sophomore year he said hi to me and gave me a high five in the hall and some of his friends were like "What the fuck are you doing you shouldn't be talking to him he's a loser" or something like that and then scolded him for his "wrongdoing". And there was also a time when one of my buddies was talking to him in the hall about school related stuff and one of my other friends gave him this confused disapproving look and asked "What was that about" as if he had done something wrong. In short, our friends do not mesh well. I also go to a small catholic school of about 600 in a medium sized town, where most people are generally on the right wing of politics :/

• Love - But Short of a Relationship

  AlephNull > 01-18-2012, 06:46 AM

  grant Wrote:Thank you so much for the responses guys this really helps me A LOT! mile: I wish I could tell you that I have the same lunch period as him, but I don't. :frown: I also wish i could tell you that we have mutual friends, but unfortunately we don't. I feel like in a way my situation is like Romeo and Juliet because our friend groups HATE EACH OTHER! I remember one time sophomore year he said hi to me and gave me a high five in the hall and some of his friends were like "What the fuck are you doing you shouldn't be talking to him he's a loser" or something like that and then scolded him for his "wrongdoing". And there was also a time when one of my buddies was talking to him in the hall about school related stuff and one of my other friends gave him this confused disapproving look and asked "What was that about" as if he had done something wrong. In short, our friends do not mesh well. I also go to a small catholic school of about 600 in a medium sized town, where most people are generally on the right wing of politics :/

  I had the same problems. Don't let that deter you.
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