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More troubles with my mother
#11
Being compassionate and apply empathy, sooner or later she will accept after all, for most of all acceptance has been an issue in our life, we can´t expect the rest to have it easier. whatever your sexual orientation you still love her and always will be for her and that haven´t change since came out.
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#12
You're right - the man's an idiot.


Bighug
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#13
Obviously you already know this "therapist" is a nut case, sad that the likes of them can still have a license and charge people for their services! However, I think what your mother is doing is "using" this advice to fuel her bias opinion, which is sad. Even worse is the fact that she is using a public forum such as Facebook to make comments about you. Well you know what they say... you can't choose your family, lol.

Anyway, you really need to ignore that kind of stuff. I know it's hard to do, especially when it's coming from family, but that's where you need to draw the line. You could "nicely" suggest for her to keep her opinions "off-line" and if she has something to say to you, say it to your face. I suggest saying it nicely to try and avoid creating even more conflict on a strained relationship. Only you know your mother and can best decide how to handle this kind of "stuff" with her. Good luck!
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#14
I just don't understand why everyone has to find some "cause" for me being gay! It's either that or they don't believe that I am! It just doesn't make sense to me.
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#15
archubbycub Wrote:I just don't understand why everyone has to find some "cause" for me being gay! It's either that or they don't believe that I am! It just doesn't make sense to me.

These people we call morons.
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#16
this is why I've been hesitant to see a therapist, most tell you enough to keep you coming back and dope you up so you don't feel anything. I'm sorry your mom is acting this way, maybe if you continue to show her love then she will eventually get over it.
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#17
archubbycub Wrote:I just don't understand why everyone has to find some "cause" for me being gay! It's either that or they don't believe that I am! It just doesn't make sense to me.

To them being gay is abnormal, not natural, not right. They need some sort of horrible reason to justify it in their minds. If they can believe we're gay because something bad happened to us to cause us to be gay, especially mothers, then it isn't their fault.

If they accept that we were simply born gay, then they think they must have done something to cause it and, thus must figure that out so they can fix us, or resign themselves to having failed in some way.

People don't want to fail, so they look for ways to rationalize what they can't accept.
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#18
archubbycub Wrote:Again everyone, thanks for the love. I really do appreciate it. I did text my mom earlier and told her I was very upset over the things I had found out today. Her response was that she still loved me, gay or not, but that I wasn't raised to treat people the way I'm treating them, whatever that means. I have yet to respond back but I want to tell her I'm simply doing what I have to do to protect myself physically and emotionally. Lord knows very few others in my life right now are going to.
Maybe she sees all this as HER failure to raise you in a way where you wouldn't have had to treat others like that (I take it she's talking about your wife and kids?... not just herself?). But it's no good crying over spilt milk... The deed's done and only being true to yourself can cure the ill.
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#19
the statements from the "therapist" are way outside current thinking. Thus I dont think there is a therapist involved at all. at the age of 35 your very gullible to take this in as true.

I dont know if this is a good or bad thing.
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#20
That's the thing. All I'm doing is being myself and protecting myself both physically and mentally. I've had to shut off all emotions to my ex-wife, but everybody, including my mother, is accusing me of "being mean."
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