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My best friene
#11
Josh, it seems to me you are still young and have time to find out what your sexual orientation is. For the moment this other guy fills your life emotionally. It could be you're craving some male affection if you never had a dad. We do miss it when that fatherly connection has gone or has never been there. Only time will tell if you are gay or not, but to decide that you'll need to have had a bit of experience. Your wanting to see his penis may just be curiosity. In teenage development, this is quite a classical feature of growing up. If you wanted to do stuff with it, then maybe you'd be gay. At least, you might be wanting to engage in gay sexual activity.

As some here would say, it wouldn't necessarily mean you were gay unless you were ready to commit to a person of the same sex, emotionally, romantically and sexually. Maybe your experience and your circumstances don't enable you to find out more about your sexuality and his sexuality at the moment.

It's fine to have intimate moments with your friend, as long as he doesn't mind and as long as it doesn't bring either of you prejudice. That's why you need to keep it private for the time being. You can't go jeopardising your or his reputation, just because you enjoy the occasional spooning or hugging. Take your time, relax and talk to him, if you can, about how you feel. If he doesn't reciprocate your feelings, hope that he'll still accept to be your friend.

Take care, Josh.
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#12
Thing is prince I know what you mean its likenive had gay sex before on 3 separate occasions and I thought it was just us being horny. Thing is about my best friend I honestly hate being with out him I mean bwe walk around school and people ask me where he's at I really want this is be more, just by watching the why he interacts with his gf make me wish I was in his place. I honestly feel lost man im sorry I just do feel utterly lost and confused
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#13
The thats the truth I like him but everytime I have gay thoughts or desires it effects me in football and im trying to suppress it but no thing seems to work man I just need someone to acutally be there
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#14
Thats what im honestly struggling with honestly then I have my church saying im wrong I dont know what to do man I dont wamt to go to hell amd then I dont want to br sad
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#15
Ok so then maybe you are heading toward the gay sexual orientation, Josh. It's all right. It'll be confusing, of course, since you are now probably dealing with some feelings that are a bit like jealousy? Do you feel negative thoughts about his girlfriend or do you realise that he's not wired the same way as you are? Maybe you are more sensitive, or maybe he's just trying to cover up. There are many reasons why people behave in certain expected ways.

You are going to feel frustrated and you'll probably feel a sense of loss if he starts spending less time with you because he's having to be with his girlfriend. How do you deal with that? Well, it's not going to be easy. The best thing you can do is remain his friend, a friend he might want to turn to if things go sour with his girlfriend. Do you think you can do that?
Incidentally it is not uncommon for young men to try sexual things with someone of their own gender in adolescence. It happens, it's called curiosity and trying to get some experience. Some people will try something and then decide it's not for them. Others will try something and decide that they'd like to do it again, and again, and again. That's when you can start talking about a sexual orientation. I'm sorry there are no right answers here, and yes, adolescence is a confusing period. It's so hard to know what you want to grow up to be, how you want your life to develop and turn out.
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#16
Thing is he puts me before his gf alot of times. He auctally knows when ever something wrong with me I mean I could be in my room with a bad mood and he'll walk in and say whats wrong and give me a huf and everything. It's like why me honestly why is it that god put this person in my life just to be like you cant have him. I could get other gay people if I wanted but I choose not to because I think not that I like him it's that in a deep love romantically I cam see us adopting kids going to beaches holding hand but im just a boy stuck
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#17
Blackie Wrote:I think your right though. I kinda strive for some kind of male contact sense I never had a dad I guess that would be the reason why. Then when ever he gives me hugs and stuff like that I dont want to let him go because he the only true thing I trust

Aw . I figured as much the moment you started talking about how close you were.

I myself had this for awhile until we were 14, he was the more outspoken, I guess "front man" of us and so I relied a lot on him, mostly because I myself have never had a father figure.

However before I progress, I don't think my not having a father "made me gay" or whatever, so that isn't something you should say to yourself, but it definitely set the mind set I do have of men unfortunately and leads me to have certain idealistic views of them, however much I try to correct that.

But yes, I can see exactly where you're coming, almost identically, aside from the football stuff of course! No time for that :p

You are mutually reliant and bonded emotionally to each other, and because of the fact that you are sort of young, which I really hate saying, cause I don't like labeling people on age, but it leads to confusing thoughts on sexuality in relation to friendships, especially close ones.

Your cool with each other, to the point of snuggling and what not, so naturally your going to want to explore and learn, trust me, I know, however this is mostly due to the lack of understanding your body, his body and bodies covered by clothes in general.

You learn stuff in sex ed, but they don't strip you down, which they really shouldn't, but it leads to curiosity.

I won't say you aren't gay, you might be, who knows only you do or will, but I will definitely say you are curious and I think it wise to not put everything into what you think sometimes.

I remember, it took me a long time to develop myself after we split up, as we were moved apart(not due to our close friendship) him to America and I stayed here, as I had put a lot of emotional dependence on him and it's not as easy as simply moving on, so I think you should think this through.

Maybe just dance around the topic and see where his mind is at.

I can't quite say what it's like for you exactly, so you need to take steps you think would get you the results and still keep your friendship intact.

Just don't think what should be, is going to be, be cause sometimes it won't be.
Imu2
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#18
Josh is there someone in your school you could talk to? A counsellor, a doctor, an adult you trust? If you live in a rural area it might be more difficult than if you live in a big city. In a big city you might find a group for LGBT and curious young people like you.

Your religion may say that you are wrong, but this is something you can get out of your head.
Ok, some people will never understand you, but you are not wrong. If there is a God, and he created you in his image, then he didn't create you wrong. He meant for you to be that way.
Anyway, the biggest message that God's supposed to deliver is for us to love one another and respect one another. That's the most important message. So forget all this stuff about hell and being damned.

You can be happy in your life, and you will meet the right person some day, provided you can be proud and confident of who you are. You've done nothing wrong. Your family's done nothing wrong. And don't let them tell you that you are a freak, because you're not. Homosexuality is part of the human sexual scale and part of the human sexual experience. It's not the commonest form of sexuality, indeed, but it doesn't make it wrong or abnormal. It's no longer considered to be a mental illness, as it was a few decades ago. That's progress in science and knowledge and understanding for you. Take it at its face value of today.

In some states marriage between people of the same gender is possible, because society is beginning to understand that it is possible for two men or two women to love each other with sufficient dependency one on the other for a marriage to be sustainable. If marriage is not legal in your state, hope that one day it will be, just in case you need it for yourself. And please don't deny it to others who might need it, when you go and vote.

If your friend is totally straight, you'll really have to give him up (not as a friend but as a romantic pursuit). I understand it's not going to be easy, because at the moment he's your rock. He's the one you turn to when you're feeling low and need some help, some friendship, some human warmth. It's nice that he feels he can give you that support. One day you may want more from him than he'll feel able to give. It wouldn't be fair to expect that of him, unless he feels the same way towards you. You understand that, don't you?
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#19
I get what your saying but im still trying to think what to do with my bff idk I meam we closer than a bromace should be I would say. For example I would get under him on the couch if I was cold even though there was clearly a blanket right next me he allow to to get close on him and all personal while we played games. Trufully I dont know if im right or wrong or if I should just stop trying
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#20
Then I could find a lgbt center but I would be nevourus to walk in
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