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On the bright side there are potentials here....
#1
Apparently this coming week is turning out to mean I will be thrust into more social occasions than have been in for... well lets round it off at one year...

As some of you may have guessed (I may have hinted once or twice), I am a 'mature' near 48 year old single gay man who is open to the potentials of romance should opportunity arise.

And it has. What with the Funeral, Church services, meals..... This will be a week of unprecedented socializing the likes I haven't seen since 2011.

So a few questions about using the death of someone to (hopefully) meet Mr. Right.

1. If a man meets my fancy, is there any funereally oriented pick up lines I should try that are sure bets (understand I don't get to go to as many funerals as I may need to reach my goal of married by 50). I mean the old stand bys for picking up people are usually too bright and cheery, while Fun is in Funeral people seem to get upset if you are all smiles and cheery - they want a more stoic, quiet approach.

2. Morticians/Funeral Personnel. Now I fully understand that Bob was old, 82... And most of his friends were at least as young as he if not older. So I may be forced to settle for 'the help'.... What do you think about the appropriateness of trying to pick up on someone when they are at work? In this case being I most likely will not have a real reason to see them in the near term (such as I would the stock boy who used to work at the grocery store), is being open and honest about my feelings at the earliest time possible more suited for this particular situation.

3. Being a "grieving survivor". I understand I must wear black, but is wearing a minor hint of my rainbow affiliation to make certain it is clear that I am queer and here at the funeral too much?

4. Frankly I need a way to signal 'single and available'... My typical habit is a cock ring in the applet of my leather jacket, but I fear the request has been a suit and tie... Any suggestions to discretely signal?

5. I am a product of a bygone era, so does hanky code still apply, and does the hanky still have to be black (being a funeral). While I am into BDSM I do have my limits and Heavy S&M is not something I like... Much (some days you feel like a nut, some days you are)...

I do tend to stick with light blue and grey (rarely do I feel like a red hanky) would a nice grey hanky fit the more solemn occasion of a funeral, grave site memorial and all of the other places we will be going this week in memoriam?

6. How tactful should I be when comparing the casket and draping and trappings to other funerals I have been to? I understand designers are hard t find, but still did they really need to bury him in THAT old thing?


7. Lastly, since I haven't done a funeral as a single desperate old queen who is painfully aware that the days ahead are far fewer than the days behind... Should I express how this recent death has reminded me of how old I really am (not the age I claim to be) and is is appropriate to add that I feel that I will never find love and die an old bitter queen?
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[SIZE=4]I told you I had the body of a 25 year old....

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#2
Merely pitching in here so you know I read this thing..

other than that I cannot be of much help.

As for funerals go, things have been more loose recently (and if my petty catholic country is, I'm sure it is too over there)....grey hanky seems appropriate
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#3
Maybe a purple tie would still fit the occasion, not loud, just discreit, not a huge signal but still....
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#4
1. he's not the only stiff thing here Wink ok maybe not that one. umm... another, oh, you must be the angle here to take him away. or, would you like to play a game, it's called the priest and the choir boy. or you could always grab him by the crotch and take him to the pantry.

2-5. I would stick to the regular funeral clothes, grey hanky sounds good.

6. people do it all the time.

7. uuhhh lets just leave that out Smile
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#5
Bowyn Aerrow Wrote:*snip*

7. Lastly, since I haven't done a funeral as a single desperate old queen who is painfully aware that the days ahead are far fewer than the days behind... Should I express how this recent death has reminded me of how old I really am (not the age I claim to be) and is is appropriate to add that I feel that I will never find love and die an old bitter queen?

Not if you're giving the eulogy.

Lastly, if you could refrain from typing out my innermost thoughts, that'd be great. Thanks! Deal
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#6
See I wonder though if 'stiffie' jokes are just not original enough to get a guys attention.

Purple Tie - I actually was going to wear my purple (For Lint - tee hee) Shirt with a black tie.... But then other than the leather tie and the black silk tie I have this really pathetic looking black solid with tiny flowers tie I dislike.

Thus far the grey hanky wins... I'm cool with that....

Ceez, so I should stick with bawling and pretending because of the recently deceased and not turn this into something all about me? That would be a change....
<---<< >>--->

[SIZE=4]I told you I had the body of a 25 year old....

[Image: 57929.jpg?v=1]
[/SIZE]
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#7
Lycanthropist Wrote:Not if you're giving the eulogy.

Lastly, if you could refrain from typing out my innermost thoughts, that'd be great. Thanks! Deal

I'm sorry about the last, just remember this funeral is about me, not you or anyone else... Sheesh.

As for the Eulogy - I have actually been terrified that the family would approach me with that one... I fear my bitter may get the best of me if I start ticking off his faults... Erm, I mean our experiences as a working Boss/employee team that has (mind the tense - HAD) essentially only two problems, him and his cheapness.....
<---<< >>--->

[SIZE=4]I told you I had the body of a 25 year old....

[Image: 57929.jpg?v=1]
[/SIZE]
Reply
#8
As to the suit, one does need a splash of colour. Even if it's just the socks to make you feel pretty.
Whether you like it or not, I'm your necessary evil.

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#9
[COLOR="Blue"]I don't do funerals really, cause I'm just too emotional, I might flip a casket or something and gurl ain't no fuckin body, dead or alive, got time for that crazy shit >,>

But I would do it big gurl. I'm not one for mopey sad, woe-is-me bull shit.

I may be young still, but I know when I die, I want every one to be happy and like twerkin on top of my casket and all that good stuff.

I'll haunt sad, crying bitches :I


Try like a nice Dark Blue suit with a Bright pink bow-tie(just cause I find bow-ties on guys kinda hawt) and a pink pocket cloth to dab your face with like a rich bitch and have the time of your life.

Don't let this make you feel some way bowyn boo, seriously. It might be easy for some young wipper-snapper(is that what Americans say?) to say this to you, but you're not old. You're never old till you're too old to be young and as long as you're young at heart, you'll never be old.


True you're body may not be the young little spruce it used to be, but so long as you're roots are strong, you'll never topple over.


I'd hug ya if I could Bowyn... don't wanna break ya back tho :p

Kidding Mister Elf Coffee

But yeah, I wanna see some pics of you celebrating not only the life of another but yours to come and will be.

Kisses bitch :hugs-and-kisses-smi[/COLOR]
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#10
Apparently this coming week is turning out to mean I will be thrust into more social occasions than have been in for... well lets round it off at one year...

As some of you may have guessed (I may have hinted once or twice), I am a 'mature' near 48 year old single gay man who is open to the potentials of romance should opportunity arise.

And it has. What with the Funeral, Church services, meals..... This will be a week of unprecedented socializing the likes I haven't seen since 2011.

So a few questions about using the death of someone to (hopefully) meet Mr. Right.

1. If a man meets my fancy, is there any funereally oriented pick up lines I should try that are sure bets (understand I don't get to go to as many funerals as I may need to reach my goal of married by 50). I mean the old stand bys for picking up people are usually too bright and cheery, while Fun is in Funeral people seem to get upset if you are all smiles and cheery - they want a more stoic, quiet approach.
Making a pick up at a funeral. Thats just even too freaky for ME...not to mention "reeks of desperation". (you asked)

2. Morticians/Funeral Personnel. Now I fully understand that Bob was old, 82... And most of his friends were at least as young as he if not older. So I may be forced to settle for 'the help'.... What do you think about the appropriateness of trying to pick up on someone when they are at work? In this case being I most likely will not have a real reason to see them in the near term (such as I would the stock boy who used to work at the grocery store), is being open and honest about my feelings at the earliest time possible more suited for this particular situation.
Yes......pick one out, slam him against the wall, and scream "HONEY!! IM HOOOOME!!!"

3. Being a "grieving survivor". I understand I must wear black, but is wearing a minor hint of my rainbow affiliation to make certain it is clear that I am queer and here at the funeral too much?
A Tommy Hilfiger silk pink suit with a black tie should do the "trick".....which is what I imagine the result you want, is.

4. Frankly I need a way to signal 'single and available'... My typical habit is a cock ring in the applet of my leather jacket, but I fear the request has been a suit and tie... Any suggestions to discretely signal?
A name tag with "Take Me Now" might do the job.

5. I am a product of a bygone era, so does hanky code still apply, and does the hanky still have to be black (being a funeral). While I am into BDSM I do have my limits and Heavy S&M is not something I like... Much (some days you feel like a nut, some days you are)...
[COLOR="red"]Hanky codes...................geez. Thats SOOOOOOOOO 1970's!!!
Hanky codes are for gangsters now, not gaysters.[/COLOR]


I do tend to stick with light blue and grey (rarely do I feel like a red hanky) would a nice grey hanky fit the more solemn occasion of a funeral, grave site memorial and all of the other places we will be going this week in memoriam?

6. How tactful should I be when comparing the casket and draping and trappings to other funerals I have been to? I understand designers are hard t find, but still did they really need to bury him in THAT old thing?
FLAME ON!!!

7. Lastly, since I haven't done a funeral as a single desperate old queen who is painfully aware that the days ahead are far fewer than the days behind... Should I express how this recent death has reminded me of how old I really am (not the age I claim to be) and is is appropriate to add that I feel that I will never find love and die an old bitter queen?
I think the pink suit and name tag with 'Take Me Now' will suffice. Unless you are cutting the asscheeks out of the suit pants....or going "crotchless".
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