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Scared
#1
Hi every1

Altough i am gay,i dont feel comfortable around gays,i almost feel like they are going to eat me(when i talk with gay men, i feel like its pre talk for sex-paranoid cuz i cant think about it right now)and no1 knows that im gay as well.My family is very conservative, i cant live as i wanted to because of my familys approval and i dont think that i can support myself without them , i come to leicester as an erasmus student and nothing has changed.I cant talk to a person if that person knows that im gay and acts accordingly ,although nothing is wrong with that,i dunno what to do in order to overcome that.I once tried to go to lgbt center but i couldnt enter,my legs stopped moving forward,i guess i dont have the balls i dunno what to do.
#2
Sounds like you're a sub, and a cute one. I'd "eat" you.
JK, sorry.

I doubt all the gay men you talk with wants to have sex with you.
If someone you don't want to have sex with tries, just tell them NO.
If they can't take no for an answer, kick them where it hurts a lot hehe.
#3
OK, deep breath here. Let's sort out what you're saying.

I do get what you said about being scared to talk to gay people. There's a predatory element of gay culture that I frankly find a bit intimidating too. The club scene for instance. Some of the dating sites. I mean, I'm gay, I'm out - but I'm a pretty down to earth guy and some dude in a club who greets me by saying he'd love to see my lips around his dick - WTF do I say to that? Hi, nice to meet you, too? If you meet gays at, say an LGBT drop in center or campus activity-based group,, IDK. You meet normal people in normal places. I'm not saying this right, I just mean be careful where you meet people.

It kind of sounds like what you're really afraid of is coming out. So afraid that even associating with other gays sets your mind racing to all sort of "what if" scenarios.

Simple truth, you're going to need to be financially independent before you even think about coming out. You don't have to do anything right now. There are a lot of things you'll need to consider over time, but first you need to get a grip.

It might help for you to just hang out here a bit, talk to people, learn about the rest uf us, our lives and our issues. Talk to us. Maybe you'll start to feel more comfortable. Take it slowly. Relax.
#4
Lol funny enough I'm kind of feeling the same sat out side a gay pub at the moment. Hmmm tell you the truth, alot of us LGBT people have the similar feeling, it's quite normal to be scared of something you aren't use to. Best start I would say is well join a fourm like this one and actually talk to us and your getting comfortable with talking to people like us.

My main reason of trepidation is the mangerment have removed all the disabled access so I find it bloody hard get in lol.
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#5
I know how you feel. I agree with the posts above, take it slowly, relax, and try to hang out here a little and chat and meet others and talk about it.
#6
First thing on the to do list:

Eliminate the parental dependency you have as a factor. Work your way from there, as I see that is by far the most important element to consider if you wish to have a happy life.

Welcome to GS! Welcome
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#7
Gemini Wrote:The club scene for instance. Some of the dating sites. I mean, I'm gay, I'm out - but I'm a pretty down to earth guy and some dude in a club who greets me by saying he'd love to see my lips around his dick - WTF do I say to that? Hi, nice to meet you, too?

I wouldn't know what to say to that either. That is no way to start a conversation with a man you like.
''Do I look civilized to you?''
#8
meridannight Wrote:I wouldn't know what to say to that either. That is no way to start a conversation with a man you like.

Reminds me of a date I had. The first my date said was I want to kiss you, then he said that above lol.

Just say that was the first and last date lol.
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#9
Gemini Wrote:There's a predatory element of gay culture ...

It kind of sounds like what you're really afraid of is coming out. So afraid that even associating with other gays sets your mind racing to all sort of "what if" scenarios.

Simple truth, you're going to need to be financially independent before you even think about coming out. You don't have to do anything right now. There are a lot of things you'll need to consider over time, but first you need to get a grip.

It might help for you to just hang out here a bit, talk to people, learn about the rest uf us, our lives and our issues. Talk to us. Maybe you'll start to feel more comfortable. Take it slowly. Relax.

^^ What he said. ALL of that. At the moment, you don't really have the option of coming out, so you need to take a deep breath and get your situation in order before you even start worrying about that part of things, yeah?

That said, Gemini is right. The people here in GS are (with one or two exceptions) NOT the predatory type. Many are hooked up or married, most are pretty laid back. This might be a good place to learn not all gay guys are out to get your pants undone.

Quote:Originally Posted by Gemini
and some dude in a club who greets me by saying he'd love to see my lips around his dick - WTF do I say to that?

Originally Posted by meridannight
I wouldn't know what to say to that either. That is no way to start a conversation with a man you like.

Lots of potential, guys.

- Snort and give them a smirk and a "you wish".
- Lift an eyebrow and say something like "well, aren't you the eager one, eh?"
- Rake your eyes over them and shake your head with an "uhhh, No"
- Rake your eyes over them then give a shrug and a "Yeah, sure" (only if you're interested, of course).
- Tell them "Sorry, but I don't suck strangers."
- Smirk and tell them "Really? I think you've got things a bit backwards, because I was thinking the same thing about your throat" then walk away.
- Give a chuckle and a dismissive "Nice try, man."

I could go on all night. Smile
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#10
[MENTION=20738]TwisttheLeaf[/MENTION] - LOVE those comebacks! Wish I could think on my feet like that. What I actually said was, How about my boot up your ass, moron? Which may have been a little aggressive. Barfights look bad on my resume lol.
"That's just the way it is
Some things will never change
That's just the way it is
Ah, but don't you believe them..."
~~~~~~~~Bruce Hornsby,, "That's Just The Way It Is"


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