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Society.
#1
so on facebook, one of my friends posted a status "Guys who hit women are beyond fucking pathetic." while that statement is true, that's all people focus on. they just care about bashing guys who treat women wrong. what about women who do that to a guy?
some time ago, My ex punched me in the face, bloodied my lip and it was really swollen (while i was identifying as a man) and no one really cared that much. but if it was the other way around, it wouldve been the most horrible thing in the world.
did anyone ever think that maybe not all guys are stronger than women?
what about when a man gets raped or molested by a woman? society doesnt really care. but when a woman gets raped or molested by a man, its the end of the world.
there was also a thing, i might have read it here or seen it on youtube but this talk show thing where there is a bunch of women and they talk about stuff, but on one episode they talked about this girl cutting off this guys penis. and they were laughing about it! Now if it was a bunch of guys sitting together talking about cutting a chicks boobs off, and laughing about it, they would be labled as psycho monsters and alot of other things. why is this?

sorry. just abunch of ranting.
#2
People have been raising this question for a long time, trying to get people to acknowledge and be aware of the phenomenon. It certainly has not been as successful as raising awareness about violence against women. Part of that is due to the fact that women are more often abused then men even when you consider that abuse against men is under reported. The other reason certainly has to do with the fact that society does consider men stronger and more aggressive, and, there for, more capable of handling such things on there own.

Yes, it is a double standard, and yes, we do need to find a way to overcome our stereotypes about how men and women are expected to act and react in such situations.
#3
I think it would be fair to consider that any abuse to any other human being is wrong. The proportion of women who are abused and often even killed by their male partners or husbands is shockingly high, unfortunately, and that's why it's better documented (again unfortunately) than the other way round. But I think it would be fair for a man who was thus tormented be it by another man or by a woman to press charges too....
#4
The ladies lack the upper body strength. Usually more timid. All this is true on the average, you can find women that are way stronger than anything you can image and guys that are timid.

Bullying is the current bad. Only allowed in N American Schools because they are so under funded. In real life beating you child or your husband/wife is like beating your self.
#5
As far as I am concerned a relationship is no place for violence.
If two adults can not express themselves without resorting to violence , then the relationship is over.
It's as simple as that. it makes no difference if you are male or female ,there is no room for violence in a loving relationship.

That's my 2 cents .
#6
Rainbowmum, is there room for disagreement though? And pouting? And emotional blackmail?
#7
There is always room for disagreement , as for pouting that does not work on me .
Terry and I have never resorted to emotional blackmail it is emotional abuse.
I love and respect the man too much to ever abuse him.

We are different people naturally we will disagree, that's when we both agree to disagree.
Our Golden Rule, fight fair , do not bring up past arguments.
#8
Double standards are those things that hopefully society will phase out over the coming generations. Things like, it's ok for men to have sex with lots of random women but if a woman does the same thing, she's a slut. Or it's no big deal if you've got a woman who's abusive, but if a man is abusive then he's a piece of shit.

Abuse is abuse no matter who does it. Women kill men, men kill women. I think it's probably more common for women to abuse men in an emotional sense than a physical one, whether that means making them feel bad about themselves or by taking advantage of them. Generally, men are looked at like the wrong-doers in relationships and that needs to change too, to being 50/50 Sad

I dunno about anyone else, but I think it's kinda shitty that men have to register for the selective service but women don't. I understand that if everyone was eligible for a draft, then who'd stay home and take care of things? But why not just make everyone register, then randomly select names if the need ever came up? I mean really, it's not like women are incapable of serving. We have plenty of active women in all branches of the military, so why is it that we wouldn't draft them?
#9
ZombieSlayer Wrote:so on facebook, one of my friends posted a status "Guys who hit women are beyond fucking pathetic." while that statement is true, that's all people focus on. they just care about bashing guys who treat women wrong. what about women who do that to a guy?

Caveat: I'm not a typical representation of society.

As for me, I don't automatically view domestic abuse or other violence by women "less horrid" than men. I've actually come out on the side of men who defended themselves from violent women with violence (and consider it insulting for someone to promote the idea that a violent woman isn't a dangerous threat). Though that said, in my observation domestic partners tend to be alike so that if either man or woman is violent to the other then the other partner is likely to get as violent as well. Emotionally immature people with poor impulse control who tend to act this way are only likely to marry other emotionally immature people.

A sore spot with me was when my 'rents got a divorce Mom was able to secure the aid of a feminist group who tried to bring up Dad's abuse of me and Mom in the court proceedings and tried to get me to help them. But when I said I would also share how Mom attacked Dad (indeed, she once took a shotgun to him, though she was either too drunk or ignorant to switch the safety off at the time) as well, and how Mom also abused me, they weren't interested in having me take the stand. Indeed, when I said I wanted to live with Granny instead of either Mom or Dad they refused to let me speak at all and assigned an "advocate" to speak on my behalf who lied about me wanting to live with Mom. I can be surprisingly bitter about that to this day (I've actually forgiven Mom for this but still hold that group in contempt) though I know I should let it go.

ZombieSlayer Wrote:did anyone ever think that maybe not all guys are stronger than women?

A really good book on this, IMO, is Kill the Body, the Head Will Fall: A Closer Look at Women, Violence, and Aggression, a feminist book that explores how women's anger is discounted and this actually increases the intensity of women's violence (some of whom feel the only way to be taken as seriously as a man is to escalate the threatening and/or violent behavior as it's otherwise dismissed by society), and also explores the rare times a woman sexually abuses her children. Just to be clear this isn't an anti-feminist book falsely passing itself off as a feminist book that some books of this nature are, but a genuine feminist book that takes a new look at women, anger, and violence, and I recommend it highly.

Btw, I don't know how common my experience is, but I've noticed that in lesbian relationships it seems to be that the femmes & lipsticks have more of a rep for domestic violence so that if a couple includes one who takes on a masculine role then it's assumed violence was done by (or at least started by) the one who takes the feminine role. And as one S&M dyke put it, "vanillas consider domestic violence foreplay." I don't know how much truth there is to this and may simply be because vanillas and the like tend to give the more odd and offbeat lesbians a bad time for "giving us a bad name" that they're called on it more (just like Gore gets called on his environmental abuses more and Republicans get called on their gay and/or extramarital affairs more, because the hypocrisy makes it more noteworthy to people). But I suppose it's possible that studs and butches have to guard their reputation a lot more than a man (or a femme) does if she doesn't want to be automatically rejected by those she seeks to be in a relationship with...

ZombieSlayer Wrote:what about when a man gets raped or molested by a woman? society doesnt really care.

Sadly, this is true enough, often with the philosophy that such victims were lucky and even men wishing something like that happened to them.

ZombieSlayer Wrote:but when a woman gets raped or molested by a man, its the end of the world.

Not necessarily. Often times a woman or even little girl is at least partially blamed for bringing it on herself, especially if she's not seen as another man's property. They are frequently ignored and dismissed by authorities as well (not always, and sometimes things go to the opposite extreme, though in my observation there's usually a political agenda involved when it does).

ZombieSlayer Wrote:there was also a thing, i might have read it here or seen it on youtube but this talk show thing where there is a bunch of women and they talk about stuff, but on one episode they talked about this girl cutting off this guys penis. and they were laughing about it! Now if it was a bunch of guys sitting together talking about cutting a chicks boobs off, and laughing about it, they would be labled as psycho monsters and alot of other things.

I'd need context to comment because sometimes people laugh as it's so wrong and horrible and it makes them uncomfortable or they just can't take the concept seriously.

Other times there is anger involved, like I know a woman who has endured severe harassment and rape who takes sadistic delight in straight men who freak over gay men who harass them (and wish the straight men endured worse as she has experienced so that in her mind men will finally understand what she puts up with).

I have been exposed to extreme feminist cults (as I call them) that held a hatred for men, at least a few of whom believed males should be killed or castrated at birth, or at least barred males from their property (including infant males). They are NOT mainstream, however, and few think well of them. Many of these women have also endured a lifetime of extreme abuse and harassment by males so that they're receptive to such hate propaganda. I don't say that to excuse them, I say that to help you understand them (though they do not represent society). Most society ignores these types as kooks much like they dismiss flat earthers and creationists, though a few misogynists try to portray this fringe element as mainstream.

But back to this supposed talk show, assuming it is exactly as you presented (and not total garbage where people hoot, cheer, and laugh at every vitriolic and obscene comment) then I'd guess that if this was seen as acceptable then it's because women's anger is simply not given the same serious respect and fear that a man's anger is given, and thus it's not taken seriously.
#10
Violence in my personal view is not acceptable under any circumstances, no person has the right to violate another persons space in this way, no one has the right to inflict physical harm on a fellow human being.

A raised hand/close fist is the sign of an under-developed mind, unfortunately I would have to say that the increase of violence and a corresponding increase of drug used are not entirely independant of each other.


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