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Still feel a little weird
#11
I spent part of my life in that thinking and honestly, looking back is a waste of time. Think that you are experimenting whether with a woman or a man, you will know the pleasures of both sides and then you will decide what is best for you. In my opinion, Everyone must follow their nature and fighting back again is simply a waste of time.
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#12
Hey there Hank...

Just remember that what took years to do (get conditioned to feel perverted for such activity) won't be undone overnight.

Trust me, I know. Even though I totally accepted it as being okay for friends of mine to be gay, I couldn't face it in myself until I worked through the first two decades of my life being conditioned (as a Catholic) to believe the only end result was hellfire and damnation. I haven't been Christian, let alone Catholic, in years, but believe me, it's not something you can just shed in the blink of an eye.

Listen to your soul. What does that tell you? In spite of what they teach, your very essence, your soul, knows the right of things. Don't confuse that with the anxiety pounded into you by misguided religious teachings.
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#13
Hank let me tell you, I've gone through that same thing as well, more so the first time my ex wife and were intimate, mainly because we weren't married yet and I had been "indoctrinated" that sex before marriage is wrong. And I'll tell you this, when I was repressing my feelings and attraction towards men, and even for a little bit after I came to terms with my sexuality, I still had a little twinge of feeling weird. But the more and more I "work it out" in my head, and the more and more I'm with my boyfriend, the less and less I've had those feelings of weirdness. Sure there are still some times when I'll say or do something and I think "did I really just do/say that?" But it gets better with time. You just have to love yourself for who you are and accept the fact that the feelings you have and the things you do really are natural for two people who live and care for each other. And that's easier said than done, but it can be done. Best of luck to you friend! Bighug
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#14
I think Rainbowmums advice hit the nail on the head.

You have to learn that YOU are solely responsible for your moralic questions in all things who turn around your sexuality, your relationships and so on. At the moment you want to live a bisexual life with a heterosexual moral ... that don´t work.
Important is that your sexual life don´t hurt anyone.... that you do nothing against the free will of your partner. Accept your own sexuality and maybe fetishes. My opinion is very easy : I tell my man what I want ... He tells me what he wants .... and if we both want it ... OK .. no moralic problem :-) Then it is possible to allow your Partner things which don´t turn you on but your partner want it ... as long as they don´t are against your own feelings... it is OK, too. Same if you want something what don´t turns your partner on .. but he can allow is as long as it don´t works against his own moral.
As long as both accept.... there is no problem....
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#15
I think you are looking for approval/ acceptance and you can start this by not hating your self. That may be difficult if you dont associate with affirming friends and acquaintances.
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#16
hank Wrote:Its not as easy as turning it off, if it was I would have done it long ago

Let any guilt lead you to better understanding and mature sensitivity for those you'll encounter in the future struggling with the same issue. Let the SHAME from false teaching and indoctrination die a deliberate and meaningful death as you become more man than ever expected! Xyxthumbs
Heart  Life's too short to miss an opportunity to show your love and affection!  Heart
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#17
No, it isn't Hank, took me a good six months to get that little "your're guilty of horrible things" voice turned off in my head. Funny thing though, once you get it off, the "Wow, yippee, this is fun." voice gets a lot louder and so does the "Hey, what if we did this?" voice Smile
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