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Was I being naive
#1
Alright so this past weekend I went and visited Toronto. I met this guy that messaged me on jackd and we instently started getting along. We went out for dinner, went out for a walk, and hung out in my hotel all night watching Tennis and cuddled a little. (only cuddled!) I was looking to network because I will probably be moving to Toronto soon. This guy caught me off guard because he's not into the gay scene and he fits perfectly with what I like in a guy. He was so kind to me the whole time I was in Toronto, I actually spent the whole time with him. He seems to have his head put on right.

I don't know if I should have taken these a signs of flirting or just being playful. I have a belt that kind of hangs down sometimes and he was pulling at my belt a couple times playfully mentioning how he liked the rocker look of my belt. Then later on that night he playfully grabbed my but as I was laying on my stomach lol. Then the next morning when we were getting ready to go out, when I came out of the shower he had his shirt off. Now he never really hinted anything sexual so I thought maybe he was just comfortable with me. Maybe this was his way of flirting with me? lol. Either way I wasn't looking to hook up because it's not my thing. I am going through a growing phase in my life and the last thing I need is to complicate it with sex and attachment. The cuddling was nice though. I had my head on his chest and he he had his arms around me while we were watching tv...

I went to a mall in the suburbs afterwards that is my favorite mall in the world, and he actually decided to tag along with me. This is why I think he wasn't wanting to hook up with me that night, because I didnt hook up with him and yet he still wanted to hang out with me all day the next day. I appreciated it so much. He talked my ear off like crazy! Usually I am the one talking a lot, but I learned a lot from him over the weekend about self-assurance, self-love and knowing your comfort zone. It was like I was meant to meet him because I needed to hear all the things he had to say. I am really grateful that we got to hang out because I figured out that there are more than just drama queens in our wonderful gay community, and there are people with diverse interests. I know it's common sense but sometimes it's easy to forget when your involved in the stereotypical gay community.

I want to meet more guys like him and surround myself with like minded people!

I am just curious I guess, whether or not he was actually flirting with me and trying to hook up with me. I think he got a sense that I wasn't ready to hook up. He said I was a really nice guy... I hope that we can be friends when I move to Toronto! What do you guys think? Do you think he was wanting a hook up or just doing some friendly flirting ? or am I just overthinking all this? haha.
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#2
It sounds to me like he likes you.... and is willing to wait.
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#3
TwisttheLeaf Wrote:It sounds to me like he likes you.... and is willing to wait.

That would be nice if he does, because I like him back Smile I'm just not sure whether or not to try to keep regular contact with him while I'm still in Montreal. Maybe I will just send him a text update when I have a date where I will be back in Toronto.

I know I am not ready now for anything too serious... but I don't want to let a good guy slip through my hands at the same time lol.
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#4
My thought...he might have been attracted to you sexually and made a weak attempt to see if you are interested....testing the water...and when you weren't...he was respectful and genuinely was interested in spending time with you....

Sounds like a perfect gentleman...
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#5
Now that's something beautiful to hear Smile

Perhaps you could consider a distance relationship, until you are both ready?
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#6
I don't think I want to do distance. but I will be in Toronto within 2 months anyways.... just got to be patient i guess Tongue
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#7
The impression I got was the same as East's. I think he was testing the waters, grabbing your butt but not making too much of a thing of it, showing off his chest (maybe he's comfortable in his body) and it's not like it's a secret that you're both gay. The belt thing too. I think maybe he was ready to do some more playing with the belt, but you didn't help or ask whether it was to come off. He's been respectful of your privacy, to some extent, but ready to extend some 'fellowship', the cuddling. Is he looking for someone? He could still be a friend in any case, I think.
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#8
First of all it sounds like you both had a great time in each others company, which is fantastic.
I quess all you can do is continue to chat with him and eventually just ask him straight out what sort of interest he has in you. Whatever ever happens between you both good luck, and at the very least you may gain a really good friend.
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#9
NayNay Wrote:I met this guy that messaged me on jackd and we instently started getting along.

This guy caught me off guard because he's not into the gay scene.
  • he was pulling at my belt a couple times playfully mentioning how he liked the rocker look of my belt.

  • Then later on that night he playfully grabbed my butt as I was laying on my stomach lol.

  • Then the next morning when we were getting ready to go out, when I came out of the shower he had his shirt off.

  • I had my head on his chest and he he had his arms around me while we were watching tv...

  • It was like I was meant to meet him because I needed to hear all the things he had to say.

I am just curious I guess, whether or not he was actually flirting with me and trying to hook up with me.

Let's break this down:

You met him on a hookup App (even though he's NOT into the "gay scene". Uh... ok. How does that work again? Guys often say this to differentiate themselves from those OTHER gay guys on hookup apps... you know... those OTHER slutty ones. But HE isn't like that!

He's a smooth talker, and definitely did numerous things to show you he was interested in going farther if you were willing.

This isn't to say given time he wouldn't make a good friend/BF, but also he wasn't there just because he enjoyed your company. He was hoping for sex. Perhaps he's not the walk in, drop your pants and fuck and leave type. He's more of the intimacy "getting to know you" for a "meaningful" affair type. "We had a moment!" Which SEEMS less slutty than just a random hookup with... what was his name again?
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#10
This is a case when I'd have slapped the LOL button rather than the THANKS, Borg.
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