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06-26-2011, 02:28 AM

Right I havenât had any sexual activates for nearly 8 years now and itâs getting to the point where if just one guy who is okay looking and hits on me when Iâm out Iâll just say yes please take me home and fk my head off.
But on the other hand I would rather be in a relationship though, but Iâm just dying for another menâs touch so much itâs doing my head in.
Am I just lonely or does sex have any other meaning and is it right to let someone use you?

06-26-2011, 03:11 AM

Am I just lonely or does sex have any other meaning and is it right to let someone use you?

Well...If you let someone use you for sex it works both ways as you would be using them as well....

Is it right? You can only answer that question for yourself. It sure as hell would be right for me.

06-26-2011, 03:38 AM

East Wrote:Am I just lonely or does sex have any other meaning and is it right to let someone use you?

Well...If you let someone use you for sex it works both ways as you would be using them as well....

Is it right? You can only answer that question for yourself. It sure as hell would be right for me.

Hard to say..

Maybe I'm scared of letting my self be who I am?

The $1,000,000 question really. I want to let go but something is holding me back..

06-26-2011, 05:54 AM

06-26-2011, 10:56 AM

Hey, sex with a random guy once or twice doesn't exclude the possibility of having a nice relationship, right? You have to change something in the way it's been going so far, surely someone will come into your life. :]

06-26-2011, 01:09 PM

Anonymous, your holding back for eight years must be beginning to be a bit long... I know the score, I've done it. My celibacy, though, went on for 18 years, which is far too long. That was my way of remaining sane and yet I knew I wanted more out of life than this constant loneliness.
Don't get me wrong, I am of the type that thinks that it's better to be comfortable alone than badly partnered... and we all know what a pitfall that can be sometimes.
I was lucky enough to meet my current partner online on another (now defunct) gay site, and we got on well enough to become an item. We have been together for eight (going on nine) years, and I've not had one sorry moment. Confused

mile:
However, we don't know your age, nor your situation in life, whether you live in a city (big or small) or the countryside... we don't know your own version of desperate and desperation, so it's not too easy to give advice. What Irina (Slipknotrizz) was saying was that you've got to make a start to the change in life patterns, so initiating something new in your life might be the beginning of something more pleasant for you to live.
Ok, having a life partner is probably the best thing you can get, but we all know that this means dating. What are your possibilities for dating? Are you in a situation (closet, for example) where dating other men is complicated? Tell us what your situation is and we'll see how we can help. Incidentally, I'm just wondering if you live in the UK.... It also helps to know in what sort of cultural background someone lives.
On the positive side, your mind seems to be ready to undertake something new, so it'll be easier.
All the best in your quest for happiness,
PA

06-26-2011, 01:11 PM

There are all sorts of things we need to live healthy, happy lives. You wouldn't go without food for eight years without some serious consequences. Intimacy is important too. Like East says a hookup with a random can be a nice snack while you're waiting for the main course.

06-26-2011, 06:41 PM

Okay a little about me without saying who I am lol!
Iâm happily gay for once in my life. Iâm from a small town outside a larger town in the south west of the UK and Iâm in my mid-twenties.
Is that then because Iâve never done a one night, Iâm scared of the unknown?
In the lager town there are two gay venues; one is a gay pub and the other is a gay club.

06-26-2011, 06:53 PM

No, I think it has nothing to do with being scared of the unknown... I think it's more to do with not wanting to face being ignored, and wanting it to be special, as it should be. I'm sure many men enjoy one-night stands because they have nothing better to compare it to, and because it's a quick release to something that they either don't perceive as a problem or it gives them a quick fix and then they can easily forget about it.
The fact that you mention being 'happily" gay means that you've come to terms with that bit of yourself and therefore that you are looking for a committed relationship and are eager for one to start happening to you. I think you are waiting for something better than a one night stand to come up, but it's like the story of the man who every night prays to God and asks him to make him rich winning the lotery... One night goes by, the next day nothing. Another little prayer to God. Two nights go by, the next day nothing... And so on...
In the end, the man has just got down on his knees and starts to pray and God gets angry...
"Man, I'll let you win anything from the lotery, but first, you've got to buy the bloody ticket!!!"

Similarly, nothing will happen to your lonely life if you don't start meeting people. If people around you know you are gay, friends for instance, they may try to hook you up with someone else they know who's gay. Or if you get involved in a group of volunteers or an arts group of some kind, you're bound to start meeting like minded people, the sort of people who might be interested in something other than one-night stands.

06-26-2011, 06:58 PM

What is it that's holding you back??? (see your post above) Do you know? Or have you not pinpointed it yet? Shyness? Fear of rejection? Uncertain of the outcome, or worried that you ARE indeed gay? An anxiety about being able to perform?