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i flushed my drugs down the kitchen sink today
#1
maybe i'm getting old but i'm starting to feel like the sober state is the best feeling there is.

i did some speed tonight, and i just don't feel it anymore. it still makes me feel good after i've taken enough of it, but to get to that pleasurable state i have to go through the vileness and the disgusting taste of the thing, which i just can't stand anymore. it's not worth it. so i flushed all my stash down the drain. i'm done with speed.

i'm not reversing my attitude with this. i still absolutely think every person has the right to experiment with drugs at their own discretion. but it's starting to wear off for me, i'm growing out of this desire i always had to do drugs.
''Do I look civilized to you?''
#2
I applaud you for taking the time to share this...because not enough people are really honest about drugs and drug use and in order to begin an actual conversation...it doesn't happen when someone is wagging fingers at you or judging other people....it takes people to just put it on the table for what it is.....
#3
I used to do a lot of speed. Wont touch the stuff anymore. May i ask what kind?
#4
Oh. That's interesting.

You're saying your self-medication experimenting has resulted in failure? Well, live and learn.
#5
meridannight Wrote:maybe i'm getting old but i'm starting to feel like the sober state is the best feeling there is.

i did some speed tonight, and i just don't feel it anymore. it still makes me feel good after i've taken enough of it, but to get to that pleasurable state i have to go through the vileness and the disgusting taste of the thing, which i just can't stand anymore. it's not worth it. so i flushed all my stash down the drain. i'm done with speed.

i'm not reversing my attitude with this. i still absolutely think every person has the right to experiment with drugs at their own discretion. but it's starting to wear off for me, i'm growing out of this desire i always had to do drugs.
There's so much hypocrisy about drugs in our culture its difficult to have any sort of rational conversation about them. Besides "drugs" is like "art" ... covers a lot of territory. Alcohol, caffeine, nicotine ... the socially sanctioned ones ... even people who say they "don't use drugs" almost invariably use them or some combination.

Being an "old hippie" my drug experimentation began in my late teens. I'd smoked a bit of weed (and it was WEED in those days) but my first REAL drug experience (outside some ketamine I was given in hospital, age 12) was . I wasn't exactly a conventional human even before that experience but since then "conventional" isn't even in my lexicon. That was followed by many LSD and Psilocybin experiences as well. All this in my youth.

Amphetamines have never appealed to me very much. Back in the early '70s I lived in a commune here with a graduate student in chemistry who made us MDA (not to be confused with MDMA) measured out in doses appropriate to our body weight. Talk about a super amphetamine, OMFG... early on-set includes tactile and visual "hallucinations" along with an overall sense of euphoria. Literally breath-taking. The come-down, however, is horrendous... 24+ hours of tooth-grinding sleeplessness.

My drug of choice is cannabis and even that I use sparingly. On the up-side, good shit enhances my sensory and imaginative capacities but the down-side is excruciating cravings for ice cream, frozen cheesecake, and Oreos with milk.

The truth about "drugs" is that some people can handle them and some people can't. It isn't the drug, its what the user does with it.
.
#6
@meridannight: While I applaud your decision, if anyone else is considering going down the same route, please consider the consequences of flushing drugs down the sink. Those drugs will eventually find their way in to streams, rivers, lakes and the sea where they will be absorbed by sea life and finally enter the human food chain. Some years ago there was a documenatry on the BBC that explained why modern man is becoming less fertile. This is the result of so much estrogen being washed in to river and the sea and absorbed by fish, It affected the male fish directly, many of them developing secondary female sexual characteristics.

Think before you flush!
"You can be young without money but you can't be old without money"
Maggie the Cat from "Cat on a Hot Tin Roof." by Tennessee Williams
#7
JohnMusic Wrote:I used to do a lot of speed. Wont touch the stuff anymore. May i ask what kind?

amphetamine. street quality.
''Do I look civilized to you?''
#8
[MENTION=20947]MikeW[/MENTION],
guys use benzos for stimulant comedown. amphetamine and cocaine comedown is similar with its irritability, sleeplessness, and general malaise. but you take a couple of benzos and you sleep through it. i never stayed awake for that phase. i put myself under and slept it off.

i don't know how available the benzos were back in the 70s, but several of them had already been synthesized by then and diazepam was among one of the most prescribed.

[MENTION=22821]NativeSon[/MENTION],
it’s a journey, not an end in itself. i have years of decent sessions behind me with speed. a lot of poetry i wrote while i was on it -- it always had the effect of facilitating writing poetry for me. the lines would just pop into my head out of nowhere even if i wasn’t searching for them. it flowed -- the poetry -- i didn’t have to think. it was all there. that was one of the best parts about it for me.

but these things can change. it’s not worth it to me anymore. i know my limits.

it’s not a 'fail' drug. amphetamine has an effect of enhancing cognition and creativity. when used right (mostly this mean keeping within low-dose range) it’s unlikely to harm you. it also has its known therapeutic uses.

but you have to know when to walk away, as with absolutely every illicit drug in the world. there are guys who could probably do it forever. i’m not one of them. it was part of my life, and now it’s time to leave it behind.
''Do I look civilized to you?''
#9
meridannight Wrote:amphetamine. street quality.

i used to do a lot crystal meth mostly. That crap can fuck you up seriously. I am glad i am ok now. and have a nice day. Smile
#10
I admire your clarity in seeing that it just wasn't working for you and not what you want anymore, instead of chasing the elusive "feel good" high further down the rabbit hole.
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