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relapsed
#1
let start off by saying, I'm not doing too good and may admit myself to hospital this week.

I've been having problems this weekend. I can't trust anyone at all. People say they're when I need to talk but when I need to talk, where exactly are they?

I'm depressed and am having psychotic episodes and I can't take it, I have relapsed. I ended up harming myself and theres blood all over my floor. Sad I don't think life is worth living anymore, I feel everyone is out to get me, abuse me and use me. Once again I'll say it. I can't trust a soul in my life. I have been and am crying right now over it.

Lately, I have been planning my suicide and can't stop thinking about it. I have nothing in my life and never will. I feel like crap and I'm afraid of killing myself in the next few days if I don't get the help I need.

My psychotic episodes are too much for me too. I hate it that all my friends are "normal" and really dont understand what I'm going through or have been through in my entire life. They think it's a joke and it upsets me and makes me cry even more. I can't control my emotions or those sick thoughts.

right now, I'm all bloody and I wanna hurt myself even more...

I'm in hell at the moment.
#2
I don't think you should harm yourself anymore, just stop for a second. Clean up. Take a nap. Let yourself calm down a bit.

Send me a pm when you wake up.
#3
Oh please don't harm yourself. Have a glass of water and take some deep breaths we are all here to listen. No judgement needed.

I know things are pretty hasty at this time. But we're all here for you. If you need someone to talk to you can also PM me. Bighug Extremely big hugs coming you're way!
#4
Hi sweetie.
BighugBighug

I know right now there seems to be no hope , but there is sweetie.
Please do not beat yourself up for relapsing , these things happen , the important thing right now is to get the help you so desperately need, if you feel you need to check back in , than do so.
There is no shame in helping yourself to survive.

We are all here for you.
Bighug
#5
Hey man, a life is always worth living Smile I'm not good at cheering people up as I myself am in a depression, but I know that in the grand scheme of things, things will get better!

Bighug
[Image: 65641-win_o.gif]
#6
The world would be a duller place without you. If you feel you need to admit yourself to hospital then get there straight away by any means possible. You need some support that is difficult to offer over the internet. Do what ever you feel you need to do to stay in our lives Bighug
#7
And what is it that we can do that you can't do for yourself?

Is there really anything that others can do?

I don't know about the mental health of everyone else here, I do know for myself I have my own 'issues' and I have discovered that there really isn't anything that anyone else can do to 'fix' me or make me better.

I have/had to take matters to hand and change the things I can (Those feelings, and how I act and behave). I also had to learn to accept those things I cannot change. Those actions and feelings in others - a clear example is I have no other choice but to accept your current feelings - I am powerless to change that.

Admitting I am powerless to change you is a huge deal - I hate it actually. However acknowledging that I cannot change you is a huge step in changing how I feel about how you feel.

Right now you are dealing with things you cannot control, how others are behaving/acting are affecting how you allow yourself to behave, act and feel about it.

You can't change them. No matter how desperately you wish, no matter to what lengths you are willing to go to change them, you can't change them.

If you are able to accept this in some small way, then you will be on the road to recovery and find the strength/courage you need to change those things inside of yourself.

They best I can do for you is stand by and 'hold your hand' in some small way. I can send you all the light and love my heart can muster, but ultimately the challenge is yours to make the changes, to do what needs to be done.

I can assure you that it does get better, things do change (for the better in most cases). I can't tell you how to make it better for yourself - I honestly do not know, the only person who does know is yourself.
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[SIZE=4]I told you I had the body of a 25 year old....

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#8
what happening?
we are wishing only the best for you.
#9
Hi mate, hope your still looking in on gayspeak and see that were hoping your ok, if you think that goin into hospital will help u stop hurting yourself then give them a ring and admit yourself as soon as possible - dont struggle alone !! try to remember that you've had days when you were feeling better about life, you can feel like that again with some help
#10
If you are considering a suicide, please - admit yourself to your closest hospital.

In the meantime, whatever is on your heart - talk to us about it. We're all here for you.

With us, you're not (and you will never be) alone. Smile


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