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sexuallly confused
#1
well i am in the closet and i have two friends who came out and they completely changed they wear make-up and everything how messed up is that but i don't want to be like them but i seem to be the only one out of them that gets aroused by the hot jocks in school and they are into drugs now and my brother and dad seem kinda homophobic cause their perceptions are all off of TV. but i don't wanna come out like now cause (this i sreally un fair but) i have a girlfriend but when i wank i dont think of her i think of thr hot guys from school !
i'm so confused i know im gay but i think i just need a next step any ideas !:confused:
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#2
a boyfriend maybe?
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#3
sc4456 Wrote:well i am in the closet and i have two friends who came out and they completely changed they wear make-up and everything how messed up is that but i don't want to be like them but i seem to be the only one out of them that gets aroused by the hot jocks in school and they are into drugs now and my brother and dad seem kinda homophobic cause their perceptions are all off of TV. but i don't wanna come out like now cause (this i sreally un fair but) i have a girlfriend but when i wank i dont think of her i think of thr hot guys from school !
i'm so confused i know im gay but i think i just need a next step any ideas !:confused:

Hi and Welcome :-)

at first I want to say : Do and be like YOU want.... find you own way of being gay. You have not to use make-up... you have not to wear woman clothes... it is OK if you want it... but when it is not your way.. why you should do it ?
There is a old saying : Same brothers wear same caps ... and thats not true.. I can be gay but I have not to do what other gays do.
If you don´t want to come out ... it is OK .... your coming out is your own very private decision and you should do it if you feel that the time is right. The right time can be with 12 Years ... or with 68 ... important is that you - and only you - want to come out.
The next step can maybe be to find your own way of being gay.... learning what you want, what you feel... learning about yourself and learning to be a proud gay man who has nothing to hide.
I always say the most important goal is to grow up to a fair, proud and social integrated man.
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#4
sc4456 Wrote:but i don't wanna come out like now cause (this is really un fair but) i have a girlfriend
enjoy your girl friend, nothing loving is bad and you may be bi? know the person you want to be. you dont have to come out because your friends have.

sc4456 Wrote:i have two friends ... they wear make-up and everything how messed up is that
nothing wrong with make-up. dont think for a second they have not given it a lot of thought. not a good time for you to start; gay men tend to be critical of gay men.
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#5
pellaz Wrote:enjoy your girl friend, nothing loving is bad and you may be bi? know the person you want to be. you dont have to come out because your friends have.


this might be true. are you attracted to other woman?

personally me, i would be considered "bi" but im attracted to who im attracted to. ive decided that i cant controll it. i love my gf to death. shes attractive to me. but other than that, i dont find many woman attractive. so most of the time when i pleasure myself, its to guys, or the thought of guys. there is no need for labels. as you cant controll who you are attracted to any more than you can control how big your feet get. hope this helps! and welcome to GS!!!
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#6
sc4456 Wrote:i'm so confused i know im gay but i think i just need a next step any ideas !:confused:


Firstly G day and welcome to GaySpeak.

Secondly, there is no good advice that anyone can give you other than 'time'...the only thing that cures confusion is knowledge, and the only thing that can cure your confusion is knowledge of yourself. We have all been through it, sometimes it isn't easy, other times it is plain sailing.

The best bit of advice is trust your gut, and just keep in touch with us in GaySpeak, sometimes things make better sense when you put things down in words and then read back over what you have said.

You just need to learn how to accept yourself, I know you have said that you know you are gay, but it seems you haven't accepted it, otherwise you would be with a boy, not a girl Wink That's just my two cents.

Just take your time mate.
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#7
Hi.. i would say that, being gay, doesn't mean that you have to make up or bla bla bla..try to think of it, why do you want to be gay? and why do you want to try to admit it? because you want to be yourself. So just do whatever you wants, because this is your own life and only you can make every single decisions in your life. So cheers friendConfusedmile:
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#8
thanks that was all really useful, i think that i'll just enjoy my gf and come out in my own time Big Grin i realized after thinking that there is nothing wrong with being who you are whether you wear make-up or not, thanks guys
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