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suspicious text message
#1
ok...this is something in my relationship which really bothers me. I think it happened on our third date at the cinema. I had previously been introduced to my boyfriend's housemate that evening and then we left for the cinema where he was texting back and forth to his housemate after leaving the house and before the movie started. he wasn't really hiding his phone from me and i didn't think about it until i glanced at his phone while he was sending a text and saw the following messages.
his housemate said 'ur new guy is really cute, i don't know what u were talking about'
(this hurt as it implied that my bf was critiquing me negatively.)
then he replied 'ah ya he will do lol'
i felt terrible for the rest of the night and was moody towards him until i opened up later and told him i saw the messages. he proceeded to tell me he didn't say anything, and that his housemate must have just said it for some reason he can't explain. this sounded like bullshit to me. why would i want to be with someone who doesn't think i make the grade. it's quite depressing and is all i can think about now that we have more or less broke up. would you have been annoyed yourself if you had seen this?
the guy i was seeing had a habit of messing around with people and said he always messed around with people and made jokes about physical appearances like one evening he said that i was nothing special and then said it was a joke when i confronted him about it. his tone didn't seem that jokey to me. what am i supposed to think about this?
#2
Assumption is the mother of all fuck ups. Dont worry about it but keep it in mind if nothing really seems to be going anywhere. Maybe he is a joker, maybe he did say negative comments about your appearance, you dont know and you are just speculating. Either believe what he says and carry on or dont and end it.
#3
I would have pressed the issue and asked to see exactly what he said to get that response, assuming I didn't know him to be a joker (equal opportunity insulter). You know, the kind of people that insult their friends, lovers and themselves in jest, and if they don't throw one at you every so often, you start to think they don't like you or, that something is wrong.
#4
lazyboy Wrote:... why would i want to be with someone who doesn't think i make the grade ... we have more or less broke up ...
good for you and if it matters its exactly what i would have done.
#5
Mate, in my opinion it is your date that doesn't make the grade.

I would have walked before I got the chance to see those aweful text messages because it is plain bad manners to be on a date and glued to a mobile (Cell) phone.

The conversation was like talking behind your back in front of you and the fact that he is trying to justify his actions after you confronted him shows that he has bad manners and poor morals.

You have to kiss a lot of frogs to find your Prince, so don't get too disheartened by this experience Wink
#6
lazyboy Wrote:... i glanced at his phone while he was sending a text and saw the following messages.
his housemate said 'ur new guy is really cute, i don't know what u were talking about'
(this hurt as it implied that my bf was critiquing me negatively.)
then he replied 'ah ya he will do lol'

Sounds like joking. I did it all the time when people would talk about by 'cute' BF.

"Cute? Nah he is a plain jane, no cute there!"

Its called 'understatement' or irony or sarcasm, depending on the subject.

But then you are a needy, low self esteem type of person who takes things the wrong way.

I'm going to tell you what is going to happen if you don't lighten up here and start flowing with the jokes in life.

You are going to bitch, moan and groan to the point where your BF is going to say 'Fuck this shit.' and he is going to walk away.

I put it as bluntly as possible in hopes that you will wake up and see the road you are heading down fast.
<---<< >>--->

[SIZE=4]I told you I had the body of a 25 year old....

[Image: 57929.jpg?v=1]
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#7
Do not assume anything , he may have been joking.
#8
Fucking cell phones, I HATE them.

They are SO DISRUPTIVE to normal human interaction on many many different levels.

Aaaaarrrrghhh.
#9
LateBloomer Wrote:Fucking cell phones, I HATE them.

They are SO DISRUPTIVE to normal human interaction on many many different levels.

Aaaaarrrrghhh.

ESPECIALLY when the user has no respect. Mine stays fairly active with kids, family, work, etc., but it rarely interrupts me and my bf because we both keep them mainly silent when we are together chillin'...

I hate noisy cell phones in restaurants and people act like they have to talk so loud!

Trying to ward of jealousy and insecurity is a skill that can be learned, but in a relationship it takes two! Communication is key...use it or lose it!
Heart  Life's too short to miss an opportunity to show your love and affection!  Heart
#10
CCRox Wrote:ESPECIALLY when the user has no respect. Mine stays fairly active with kids, family, work, etc., but it rarely interrupts me and my bf because we both keep them mainly silent when we are together chillin'...

I hate noisy cell phones in restaurants and people act like they have to talk so loud!

Trying to ward of jealousy and insecurity is a skill that can be learned, but in a relationship it takes two! Communication is key...use it or lose it!

Yeah, you know, I have a smart phone.
And a Facebook app.
And I send & receive text messages.
I've also been known to actually TALK on my cell phone....

But damn it, I can put it AWAY when I'm out with people. I wish other people would do the same. It's like being with someone who's impaired....

This is actually a hot topic for me, I can't really explain why I have such a negative reaction to people's cell phone use, but it drives me up a wall.


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