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these situations confuse the shit out of me..
#1
So I just started my first year at community college. The other day I noticed this guy in my english class and i just thought "he's pretty cute" and aside from a couple sideways glances at him, I didn't really think much of it, cuz that's pretty much the way it goes with me and cute guys; I just sort of figure they're probably straight and they'll never want me lol and although I'll try to make them notice me, I'm not going to sweat it or expect anything. nbd.
Anyways as I was leaving class and walking to my car, the guy was walking the same direction as me so I just kinda quickened my pace so I could walk past him nonchalantly. I walk kinda fast anyways so this was just me doing my typical no-big-deal-cute-guy-walk-by, not thinking anything would happen.
All the sudden I hear someone go "hey, you" and I look over and it was him, and he's looking at me. I was really thrown off at first but i just go "ya?" probably looking really confused. and he was like "don't i know you from the cobalt?"
by this point we had somehow gradually gotten closer together as we were walking, and the conversation went like this.
me: "uh i don't think so... the cobalt?
Him: "the cobalt cafe"
m: what is that?
h: it's this really shitty venue.
m: hmm i think i've heard of that actually.. but i don't think i've ever been there.
(then i asked him where it was and stuff)
m: ya i think i know what you're talking about but i've never been there.
h: oh.. i must be thinking of someone else then.
m: maybe my brother? he's probably played there before.
-when i told him my brother's name tho he didn't recognize it and my brother is someone you would probably remember if you met him and tbh my brother and i don't look that much alike.
-then i asked him his name and he told me and he was like "aren't you in my english class?"
m: ya i'm *-----
-at this point i started to question whether this was like flirting or whether this guy was interested in me and we were still walking together so i decided to keep the conversation going.
m: so you've played at the cobalt? you're in a band?
h: ya!
~bla bla bla~

then he started asking me about the classes i was taking and stuff he was like "do you take a lot of classes here?" and we just talked about that briefly. i think at one point he asked me something like "what are you doing now?" or "do you have another class now" idk i can't remember exactly but i remembering answering that i was just going to my car. at this point we had to go separate ways, so we said goodbye, etc.
so here's my question: was this guy trying to talk to me cuz he was interested in me? it was a very brief conversation, and obviously kinda boring and super casual, with just the slightest bit of awkwardness, but i wouldn't really expect it to be any different considering we literally just met and i think we were both a little caught off guard. i felt like i was getting flirting vibes, maybe just because a guy has pretty much NEVER done anything like that to me before plus that whole "don't i know you?" thing just seems so cliche... but idk, maybe he really did just think i was someone. but he kept looking at me with this mix of confusion and intrigue on his face, at least that's what it looked like to me. but maybe he just thought i was someone and didn't expect me to continue talking to him once we realized i wasn't that person?? but he continued talking to me too and asking me questions. so idk. he was also definately outta my league tbh and he didn't even seem gay at all... ugh. point is...
IDFK. how do you tell when i guy is flirting with you? i feel like it's so much more confusing when you're gay because you don't know if the guy is gay or not.. like wtf lol.
so anybody with experience or insight, that'd be awesome. thanks!

and ps sorry if this post oozes with insecurity and desperation or if i sound really fucking pathetic, which i probably do, but i'm just not experienced or self-assured enough to really know what to think of these situations because i rarely get approached by guys so i just need a 2nd opinion. thanks.
#2
When a guy stops you & starts up a conversation with you,,, it indicates he is interested in you. This doesn't mean he's interested in you in a romantic way, he may just be a friendly person who likes meeting new people that he finds interesting.

You'll never know the answer to your question until you get to know him better. When you see him at college, say hi to him and continue being friendly. Let him know you are approachable by smiling at him when you two cross paths. If you become friends and start hanging out together, let him know you are gay and see how he responds to that information. If he doesn't tell you his sexual orientation after you've told him your gay,,,, then come right out and ask him if he is gay. Once you know where he stands, then you can approach the subject of dating or remaining friends.

Don't get your hopes up, or too emotionally involved, until you know he's into men... Remember, the majority of men are straight, which means the odds of him being gay are only 3 to 5 percent.

Good Luck,
Jim
We Have Elvis !!
#3
There's no need to be ashamed about being a little insecure and inexperienced. Sometimes gay guys are a little behind on learning about flirting and relationships because we start later than straight people (often takes time to figure out our sexualities)

I think you should wait this out a little more. It's very hard to judge if he's flirting based on a synopsis and when we have no clue on his tone or intent. He wants to be your friend at the very least. Talk to the guy some more, gauge his interests, and see how it goes! Maybe you could mention an attractive male actor to see how he responds. See if he starts to compliment you. I would get some reassurance of his sexuality ASAP, so you don't have to deal with that question. Straight boy crushes aren't fun!

Keep us updated! And don't be afraid to approach this guy
#4
He made it a point to remind you of your connections, looked for other possible ones, and even made up one after hailing you down. It's hard to know what his intent was, but he sure seemed to put a LOT of energy into it.

I would hope this opens the door for you to be equally as open and forward the next time you see him.

He could be the best friend you just met. Can't you just imagine any kind of relationship with someone that open, forward, and enthusiastic?
#5
Like Jim said above, if he didn't have any interest in you then he wouldn't have stopped to ask you the question about the cafe. Whether this interest was platonic or not is something you are going to have to figure by getting to know him better. All I know is that if I had non-platonic interest in someone I would strike a conversation on any subject, just to be around that person.
#6
Funny story. I like.

Ask him out for a cup of chaicinno.
#7
boytwenty2 Wrote:but he kept looking at me with this mix of confusion and intrigue on his face

This, right here? This and the description of the awkwardness sounds like maybe he's shy and had one of those "leaps of courage" moments.

You know the ones. Where you stand in the background and go "come on, just talk to him. You can do this. Just step up and say something. Say anything." So he did it, and then realized once he got that first thing out, he hadn't thought of where to go from there.

Thus, awkward, but interested.

I could be way off base, but that's what it sounds like to me.

And, not all guys that are into men "seem gay".
[Image: Signature500.jpg][Image: Signature502.jpg]
#8
I say go for it
and as for the not being sure if he's flirting, not being experianced
I've been out (though I said I was BI) since I was in 7th grade, and I've had guys flirt with me before and it went right over my head, and I STILL have that happen, so if after, what is that 6 years? If after around 6 years I can still not notice or be sure if a guys flirting with me, YOU shouldn't be ashamed or uncomfortable with not being able to, especially since I know HOW to flirt, but typically not when someone's flirting AT ME XD
#9
[SIZE="4"] I really get a kick out of reading posts like this because I remember being JUST LIKE THAT. Hahahahahahaha! It's really neat to see guys going through the same mess I went through at their age. It's like a universal initiation into the gay world to have to experience all this.

And guess what Boy22 ----- there's no cure for it and all the advice in the world is worthless! You're just going to have to go thru and experience unless your parents have a time macine stashed in the garage.

And feeling a little insecure and confused is a good thing.[/SIZE]
[COLOR="Blue"]People should be able to defend what what they believe, do and say.
Otherwise they will begin believing, doing and saying things that are indefensible.[/COLOR]
#10
reading your account of the things i really don't see anything that sticks out as him showing that kind of interest in you. rather he comes off as a guy just interacting with another guy in the same setting and environment he is in. i've been on the receiving end of a hundred of such cases in my life and they were all friendly exchanges.

it seems to me that you read the flirty part into the exchange due to finding him cute and due to him approaching you first. a friendly guy can look like that under such a mindset.

this being said, i could be wrong. the most important information in situations like these is the body language. whether a guy is interested in more than friendship is in the body language, first and foremost. if you really like him you can go talk to him next time you see him. maybe hang out with him some time, see what kind of guy he is and see where things go.


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