Well well well, if history doesn't repeat itself. First, I don't know why I am even on any dating site but I am. Of course of the blue a cute guy pop's up on Facebook dating. I should say cuter than most. So I have to talk to this guy. We've been talking for a little while and he seems like a really nice guy, a little far away but close enough that I am willing to make the drive which I'm guessing is about 2 hours away.

I'm liking him perhaps a little too much for just only texting him right now. I can't really get over that he's handsome and he's a nice guy to the point where I can't just relax and think of things to talk about and I feel like I am being a bit too sappy and not really keeping the conversation going. I feel like I am on the verge of screwing it up...again. Crushing is baaad. I should, of all people, know better given the shitshow that was a few years ago.

At some point I think sending this post in context may be the kind of candid connection that might fuel a real date!

Yeah maybe so. Not so sure I should do that anytime soon though. I always feel like when I get a little too idk sappy or perhaps attached that I'm coming off more like a crazy Meg Griffin....

lmao @ crazy Meg Griffin!

Yeah, it can be a challenge, managing these crush feelings. Just try to take a few deep breathes, and proceed slowly.

I feel like the ugly toad lol. I know I will probably offer to drive all the way out there and I feel like that will be it. I can't help but think about all the flaws and problems I have. I also don't know if I should date someone right now.

I feel you...it's like losing our senses for something we know that might hurt us in the future. At the same time, we feel weak because we succumb to this emotion even though we know we shouldn't....

Sometimes, I'd tell myself to see that person as a good friend and think what I would react to a good friend in those situations. It somewhat works for me and I hope it might help you too.

(06-16-2020, 08:37 AM)seeking Wrote: I feel you...it's like losing our senses for something we know that might hurt us in the future. At the same time, we feel weak because we succumb to this emotion even though we know we shouldn't....

Sometimes, I'd tell myself to see that person as a good friend and think what I would react to a good friend in those situations. It somewhat works for me and I hope it might help you too.

I feel like I'm out of my league basically. I feel like he is the prize and I am not. I realize that is kind of an internal problem. There's things I see about myself that I don't think are attractive in the slightest, most of which is beyond my control. I just hate rejection and it seems it happens a lot to me.

(06-16-2020, 01:06 PM)InbetweenDreams Wrote: I feel like I'm out of my league basically. I feel like he is the prize and I am not. I realize that is kind of an internal problem. There's things I see about myself that I don't think are attractive in the slightest, most of which is beyond my control. I just hate rejection and it seems it happens a lot to me.

There are no leagues when it comes to associating with people. People tend to idealize others they find attractive. Everyone's got some internal struggles going on, some regrets, some hurt they still carry around, some vulnerabilities. So be kind to yourself and be kind to others too. Everyone has things they don't find attractive about themselves. No one likes rejection.

So yeah, maybe it's time to take a break from the self-sabotage.  Just continue to talk to the guy and enjoy it. He obviously likes talking to you or he wouldn't do it. Let it unfold without expectations of what is to come. That means dropping your mindset that you are going to screw it up.

Best wishes. I usually find the journey more interesting than the destination. It's a good job life is a journey.

xx

Well, I can't say for sure but I think this guy just ghosted me. It doesn't make sense. I thought things were fine but I guess they weren't. Oh well.

With some guys I get this feeling that things aren't going to work and it isn't so much a feeling that is to do with my self sabotage but it it something that drives it. It's almost as if I feel that the guy is talking to several other guys and I'm just another contestant on their "game" show. Is it intuition or what? Hopefully I'm getting that across right. It can be a bit tricky to describe what you're feeling, why and in what context and so on...well it's like parsing JSON....hopefully I made a nerd laugh at that somewhere.