Hi everyone,  I am a new guy here ^^ I hope everyone is having a great time.

I am having a problem while having sex with my BF..

It's hard to explain since English is my second language, but I will try my best 

Sorry I am going to use some bad words   just to explain..


so I bottom for my BF.. and we all know this is a hard work and you have to clean yourself first like douching etc..

and when I get clear water, I try to push more to get out the clear water of my rectum. I wait like 2 hours or so before having sex.. then we start having sex... and when we do, very very tiny drops of clear water comes out to make the sex not enjoyable.. it feels like there's no irritation between us. or like my hole is really really wide ( which is not ).. then I don't feel his Penis and he doesn't feel my hole.. we start to get some tissue to dehydrate the area.. and we continue.. and then dehydrate again.. etc... it's boring and not enjoyable..

I even went to do colonscopy to  see if there's something blocking water from coming out after cleaning.. but the doctor said you are totally normal...

I am not sure if I am the only one facing this problem.. or there are a lot of guys facing it, too. 

Please help me with this if you know anything about it.

@Versace Is your partner using lube? He could be using too much lube...

Likewise it is possible that it is just water. Only suggestion might be to use a toy prior to having sex or something to help work the water out before having sex.

thank you for your reply ^^

no he isn't using much lube, actually we try to minimize the amount of lube as much as we can, I think the water comes from me =(

good suggestion by the way. but are you guys the same? or is it just me? =(

Is that clear liquid really thin like water ? Or is it thicker ?
Have you used condom?
If the liquid is a little bit thick, and you have not used condom, there is a chance that your BF has a lot of precum and it drips out from you butt.

Otherwise I am also curious to know too....

ya the liquid is totally like water, and we don't use condoms.

he is a person that doesn't have a precum.

@Versace the only other thing I can think of is that perhaps you're using too much douche/etc or unable to get the excess out. A couple of suggestions I have would be to either try using less or do it further ahead of time if possible.

(12-07-2020, 01:31 AM)InbetweenDreams Wrote: @Versace the only other thing I can think of is that perhaps you're using too much douche/etc or unable to get the excess out. A couple of suggestions I have would be to either try using less or do it further ahead of time if possible.

Yes, I thought of this, too. and I started to do less douching, still the same problem.. then I had sex with my BF without douching. " I just make sure that I am clean and ready to have sex, first." the problem is that even when I didn't douche, I still had water coming out. which was shocking to me...

as I said, it's not ( a lot of water ) but tiny drops makes the sex not enjoyable, like I explained earlier.

do you guys know an online health care for gay men etc... that I can explain my problem to a doctor.

we don't have sex clinics here.. but my doctor said you can find in USA or some Europe countries.

Hmm, I'm definitely drawing a blank. I have not heard of an online sex clinic but that doesn't mean they don't exist either, so hopefully one of the other guys will chime in on that. There are medical sites where you can ask questions but they're for all sorts of stuff so it might not be what you're looking for since this would be a public post but then again so is this...of course we've got a different audience here.

Since you mentioned this happens without any preparation this makes me think of some sort of reaction. Your BF uses a condom correct? Do you know if they're latex or non-latex? A lot of people are allergic to latex. Of course if this happens regardless of whether your BF uses a condom or not, whether you douche or not, then it must be coming from simply having sex but I have not heard of this before either so if you are eliminating any remotely possible causes then I am at a loss. If your doctor is referring you to online stuff, you might want to talk to a gastroenterologist or someone who specializes in that area. Not sure how friendly doctors are to the LGBT community in your country though.

When you douche, you may be injecting water so far back that it won't easily come out.

(12-07-2020, 01:29 PM)InbetweenDreams Wrote: Hmm, I'm definitely drawing a blank. I have not heard of an online sex clinic but that doesn't mean they don't exist either, so hopefully one of the other guys will chime in on that. There are medical sites where you can ask questions but they're for all sorts of stuff so it might not be what you're looking for since this would be a public post but then again so is this...of course we've got a different audience here.

Since you mentioned this happens without any preparation this makes me think of some sort of reaction. Your BF uses a condom correct? Do you know if they're latex or non-latex? A lot of people are allergic to latex. Of course if this happens regardless of whether your BF uses a condom or not, whether you douche or not, then it must be coming from simply having sex but I have not heard of this before either so if you are eliminating any remotely possible causes then I am at a loss. If your doctor is referring you to online stuff, you might want to talk to a gastroenterologist or someone who specializes in that area. Not sure how friendly doctors are to the LGBT community in your country though.

thank you for your replies I really appreciate it.

No my BF doesn't use condoms since we are in a closed relationship.

my gastroenterologist was understanding and LGBT friendly, so he spent a month or so trying to figure  out what the problem is, he even did colonoscopy to me and said there's nothing to worry about, nothing blocking the water from going out and you are totally normal.

that's why he suggested doctors that are specialized in sex or so..

I may try what you suggested for me earlier, to stick a toy before sex.. and see how good it is..




may I ask you guys ( just to compare ) doesn't matter if you're tops or bottoms , do you guys feel the anus is " almost "  on the same width from the start till you finish the sex? 

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(12-07-2020, 10:16 PM)JoelR Wrote: When you douche, you may be injecting water so far back that it won't easily come out.

ya that's what I thought before.. but I tied it without douching.. still the same thing


I am thinking of two possible reasons for this.. and I am not sure if I was right or not..

1- I used to douche for many years everyday even without sex -.-... and this was because I have a feeling that I didn't finish pooping xD... till the doctor advised me and gave me tips to stop it.. and I stopped it..

2- second reason I am thinking of is that I gained a little fat, you know when you are trying to bulk etc.. when I was shredded I didn't have this problem.. but maybe my body has gained some fats and lot's of water  not sure...