Hello all,

I am not sure really how to start. I am a 41 yr old woman and have always thought myself possibly to be bi but have only been with men. This is something that I haven't told any other soul. As I have aged, the feeling of attraction to women has grown stronger, but I have never acted on it. Honestly, I wouldn't know even how to start. I don't want to stuff this feeling down, especially if it would limit my chance at happiness.  Any advice would be appreciated.

Adelyn

Well there are of course two choices you can make, one is to explore it or not explore it. I am 35 and I have to say I have sort of found myself in a similar situation. You see I have dated only guys since I came out way back in 2006. There is a woman who I have more or less have had a crush on since high school and we have been talking (as friends) and I have always wanted to date her. However, I have never slept with a woman and perhaps I am barking up the wrong tree. So my advice is that if you want to explore this, do so, just be honest with them. I think it is totally acceptable to tell someone, "hey I've never done this before" and anyone worth your time will be cool with it.

As far as what apps to use and whatnot, well it varies. If you're looking for more of a long term partner consider something like POF (Plenty of Fish) or Facebook Dating....your mileage will vary with apps of course. Consider gay clubs or LGBTQ organizations like PFLAG as a way to both be supportive of the community but it is a good way to network and meet people as well.

The most important thing though is not to feel ashamed, don't be ashamed of being gay, bi or curious...or whatever you want to consider yourself as. Nothing wrong with you, so keep that in mind. At the same time don't regret not having done things sooner, we're all on our journey and sometimes it takes longer for some of us to reach different parts of our lives.

So hopefully that helps some.

(03-17-2022, 02:21 AM)Adelyn Wrote: Hello all,

I am not sure really how to start. I am a 41 yr old woman and have always thought myself possibly to be bi but have only been with men. This is something that I haven't told any other soul. As I have aged, the feeling of attraction to women has grown stronger, but I have never acted on it. Honestly, I wouldn't know even how to start. I don't want to stuff this feeling down, especially if it would limit my chance at happiness.  Any advice would be appreciated.

Adelyn

It all starts with just one. I wish for you a friend you can confide in beyond this forum!

You're in the "Who am I?" corridor, right now, Adelyn...it's a long walk, too.

Hello Adelyn,

@InbetweenDreams gave you some great advice. Look into clubs that are LGBTQ centric, and that way you can meet people and talk about what is going on. Having people to bounce ideas off of can help.