Hello all,
I am new here. I was looking for gay forums and found this one, I desperately needed to talk to someone so I am glad, I am here. I need help guys! I am mentally in pain. 
I miss someone whom I never expressed my feelings because he is straight and much elder. But I am deeply strongly in love with him. I sometimes cry, have breakdowns but I have no one to counsel me. What should I do guys?

Hi

Sorry to hear you feel like this.

The solution here is time, no quick wins unfortunately. But it will get better.

Firstly recognise that if you are sure he is straight and wouldn’t feel the same towards you, that this is a one way feeling. However you feel, it won’t be reciprocated in the same way.

Secondly, find ways to enrich your life and distract your thoughts. Concentrate on current hobbies, or take up new ones. A great way to help the healing process (even if your mind tells you you really don’t feel like it) is to talk to other people. You don’t even have to talk to them about this issue, just talking in general and socialising can be beneficial for mental health. Taking up new hobbies/clubs/education courses can be a great way to meet new people. The more time you spend alone with your thoughts, the more chance you have to dwell.

If you are really struggling, reach out to doctors or mental health professionals. You may just need some temporary support - many of us need at some point.

You’ve already made a step by coming here and saying hello

Ian

(12-06-2023, 12:30 PM)IanSaysHi Wrote: Hi

Sorry to hear you feel like this.

The solution here is time, no quick wins unfortunately. But it will get better.

Firstly recognise that if you are sure he is straight and wouldn’t feel the same towards you, that this is a one way feeling. However you feel, it won’t be reciprocated in the same way.

Secondly, find ways to enrich your life and distract your thoughts. Concentrate on current hobbies, or take up new ones. A great way to help the healing process (even if your mind tells you you really don’t feel like it) is to talk to other people. You don’t even have to talk to them about this issue, just talking in general and socialising can be beneficial for mental health. Taking up new hobbies/clubs/education courses can be a great way to meet new people. The more time you spend alone with your thoughts, the more chance you have to dwell.

If you are really struggling, reach out to doctors or mental health professionals. You may just need some temporary support - many of us need at some point.

You’ve already made a step by coming here and saying hello

Ian

Thank you Ian. Your response means a lot.

You should accept that you've expressed your feelings for this individual and they don't reciprocate.. Accept where the relationship stands and move forward.

(12-07-2023, 06:00 PM)skylerpenny1 Wrote: You should accept that you've expressed your feelings for this individual and they don't reciprocate.. Accept where the relationship stands and move forward.

Thank you for the advice, but I don’t know why, not easy for me. I spent 6 years being close to him, and we really had a nice bond. Now, we don’t talk to each other because of a misunderstanding.

(12-07-2023, 06:00 PM)skylerpenny1 Wrote: You should accept that you've expressed your feelings for this individual and they don't reciprocate.. Accept where the relationship stands and move forward.

The OP said that they HAVEN'T expressed their feelings to this individual. Though as they are straight it is unlikely to be reciprocated I guess.

@discrete_specie, @IanSaysHi has offered some great advice above. I see that you and the guy you love no longer talk. As painful as this is, it may actually be for the best, especially if you are harbouring such strong feelings. It may not seem it now, but time will help.

If you can love this earnestly with such passion, just think what love reciprocated will be one day!! It is bittersweet. You are in pain now but it is the honing of your capacity toward even more brilliant love to come. Be patient and forgiving with yourself and focus on growth toward being the kind of lover you hope to truly share in your future.

(12-09-2023, 03:08 PM)ChadCoxRox Wrote: If you can love this earnestly with such passion, just think what love reciprocated will be one day!! It is bittersweet. You are in pain now but it is the honing of your capacity toward even more brilliant love to come. Be patient and forgiving with yourself and focus on growth toward being the kind of lover you hope to truly share in your future.

Such a beautiful response