12-21-2011, 04:33 PM
I know this may sound weird, but i read an article posted by the university of indiana regarding this very subject. And belive it or not, the researchers found out that it was actually a MENTAL issue. The majority of the men who coudn't have an orgasam during oral sex were subconsciously "blocked" from orgasm because they were conditioned to equate cumming in their partner's mouth or face as a form of degradation!
When i was growing up and first started dating girls (i lost my viriginity at 16) every girl i messed with always made it clear..."DON'T CUM IN MY MOUTH, THAT'S GROSS!" You hear that over and over again and it starts conditioning that makes it mentally impossible to orgasm that way.
The other issue with men that was raised in the article was that many of the men who WERE able to orgasm during oral sex felt GUILTY for cumming - and in most cases, when a man cums his libidio drops to ZERO - and so intimiacy ends.
The bottom line is - communication. Once you've established that your partner WANTS to suck you off and it's NOT degrading him in any way and that its a turn on - you have to learn to really relax and let go of the mental block!
For me, that breakthru came when a guy i was dating put a blindfold on me, and told me to relax while he gave me a massage. As he started to blow me, he could tell after 10 minutes i was not even close, he again told me to relax - that this was bringing HIM pleasure - he slowly slid a finger in my anus and began giving me a prostate massage. Well, guys. I'm telling you...there's NO mental conditioning that can withstand getting a hot blowjob and a prostate massage at the same time. I damn near came out of my skin when i orgasmed! After that, i was able to truely enjoy oral sex!
Just a few things to chew on! HOpe this helps!
When i was growing up and first started dating girls (i lost my viriginity at 16) every girl i messed with always made it clear..."DON'T CUM IN MY MOUTH, THAT'S GROSS!" You hear that over and over again and it starts conditioning that makes it mentally impossible to orgasm that way.
The other issue with men that was raised in the article was that many of the men who WERE able to orgasm during oral sex felt GUILTY for cumming - and in most cases, when a man cums his libidio drops to ZERO - and so intimiacy ends.
The bottom line is - communication. Once you've established that your partner WANTS to suck you off and it's NOT degrading him in any way and that its a turn on - you have to learn to really relax and let go of the mental block!
For me, that breakthru came when a guy i was dating put a blindfold on me, and told me to relax while he gave me a massage. As he started to blow me, he could tell after 10 minutes i was not even close, he again told me to relax - that this was bringing HIM pleasure - he slowly slid a finger in my anus and began giving me a prostate massage. Well, guys. I'm telling you...there's NO mental conditioning that can withstand getting a hot blowjob and a prostate massage at the same time. I damn near came out of my skin when i orgasmed! After that, i was able to truely enjoy oral sex!
Just a few things to chew on! HOpe this helps!
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