10-25-2012, 05:42 PM
I will suggest the obvious: just openly ask him who these people were. You have good cause to ask yourself (and him!) why he didn't call you when he generally doesn't fail to do so. Maybe it is nothing and it's not worth making a fuss about. Maybe you have a reason to feel insecure about this, but maybe not. Sometimes we don't get to do what we'd like to and maybe he didn't feel it was appropriate to call you once his friends were having dinner with him. It sounds as if it wasn't planned and maybe he didn't want to cause you alarm or make you feel left out, but if that was the case, it seems to have backfired. Maybe he thought you wouldn't find out and everything would be fine. Well, that has failed too. How come he did not suspect that you'd call him if he didn't call you?
Maybe you should just let him know that you were counting on a call and remind him that when you didn't get the call, it made you nervous and worried because it as not in his habits. I'm sure he'll understand that. I hope he'll apologise.
Is it possible that he's not quite ready to give up his bachelor's habits by committing to your relationship more deeply? You might ask him that too. This is what I'm sensing from the fact that you are both retaining your own apartments on either side of town. After all, if you're not a controlling person, you ought to be entitled to the same respect you show him. It looks as if you haven't yet crossed that threshold where you live together full time. Maybe there's a reason for that. As Mum said, we don't know what sort of rule prevails in your relationship regarding seeing other people.
Some men do enjoy thinking that they have entire freedom to do as they please, but in a relationship there is no such thing as total freedom if the relationship is to last. There must be trust too and it seems to me you are now having trust issues. I think it would be fair to let him know that. I hope he apologises for putting you through this worry (or fear).
I don't know how your previous relationships have been in the past and whether you've had to deal with stuff like this before, but it's only normal to want to break a bad pattern if you see it repeating itself.
In any case, good luck with the talk and take care. You obviously don't want to antagonise him, but you do need answers. As Rainbowmum said, we are here for you.
Maybe you should just let him know that you were counting on a call and remind him that when you didn't get the call, it made you nervous and worried because it as not in his habits. I'm sure he'll understand that. I hope he'll apologise.
Is it possible that he's not quite ready to give up his bachelor's habits by committing to your relationship more deeply? You might ask him that too. This is what I'm sensing from the fact that you are both retaining your own apartments on either side of town. After all, if you're not a controlling person, you ought to be entitled to the same respect you show him. It looks as if you haven't yet crossed that threshold where you live together full time. Maybe there's a reason for that. As Mum said, we don't know what sort of rule prevails in your relationship regarding seeing other people.
Some men do enjoy thinking that they have entire freedom to do as they please, but in a relationship there is no such thing as total freedom if the relationship is to last. There must be trust too and it seems to me you are now having trust issues. I think it would be fair to let him know that. I hope he apologises for putting you through this worry (or fear).
I don't know how your previous relationships have been in the past and whether you've had to deal with stuff like this before, but it's only normal to want to break a bad pattern if you see it repeating itself.
In any case, good luck with the talk and take care. You obviously don't want to antagonise him, but you do need answers. As Rainbowmum said, we are here for you.
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