Sexuality and Settling Down

[InbetweenDreams]

That is true. On the personality tests I'm pretty certain I'm an INFJ, I have taken the test many many times over a long period of time and always comes back the same...I can't say the same for the sexuality test, I've taken it maybe once or twice.

I discussed this among some of my gay friends, although one of them was more interested in cracking jokes...so I didn't get to have an in-depth discussion. One question I got asked was "Do you see yourself being with a woman for the rest of your life?" I answered with a pause, yes. I also in returned saying "Do I see myself being with a man the rest of my life?" I said possibly yes, but thinking on it and considering the nature of gay dating and my own experiences it is not favorable at all. I know a good deal of the folks here on the forum have partners, have been partners it just seems very unfavorable today. There's too many guys who want to hook up, have a 3rd, just chat, nsa, catfish and not enough guys who legitimately want to date. The other problem is myself, I do have standards and while I am drawn to guys I seldom feel comfortable and I do there's always something else wrong between me and the guy, compatibility.

Sex sex sex, everything boils down to sex before anything else. I had some younger guy chat me up and all of a sudden send me a picture of his asshole. Yeah it was grindr, I suppose it is par for the course? Why is it par for the course? It just seems that people have no dignity or self-respect? I get the whole thing about trading pictures and all but right out of the blue right after saying "Hi, how are you?" I wish I could say that is the only time that has happened... I get that stuff too often. I just don't get it. If these apps are the wrong place period, what is there that's left? In a small town, what are the odds of finding someone my age, decent looking, wants to settle down and maybe have kids and so on? I mean there's more to me than wanting to have kids, I want to travel and explore new things. It just doesn't seem like that's going to happen.

My thoughts are to date a girl and find out for myself, I wish it were that easy. I honestly has zero clues how to proceed. I mean finding gay guys are easy enough, load up POF, Grindr, etc... Finding women to date not the same thing and that whole scene is foreign to me. However, I am probably overthinking everything and far too worried.

Easier said than done.