I know what I am gonna have to do

[Drkmcnamara]

After reading everyone's responses here to my own feelings I think the real reason why I am so messed up is because I am severly depressed. But everyone on here seems to think like I am doing nothing about that and all I do is just complain and seek attention. While I may do that here in real life no one even has a clue that I am so sad and lonely like this. So in a real sense this place has kinda been my emotional dumping ground because I hide and repress so much emotions in my real life instead of just letting me express them.
Well it is high time that I quit crying on here too and shape up. No one is going to love me if I constantly show my feelings in such a careless manner. The truth is right now that I am a failure and an overall unloveabld person. I am going to have to change that and become the guy that is accepted and loved. I realized that my want really is not for romantic love so much as it is I want to be valued and accepted by anyone really. So instead of sitting on my ass and moping I am going to on a campaign to not be a failure and be the guy that is loved and wanted. That means me having to be Mr.Perfect. I have to quit fucking up and bring control back in my life. I know that is what you all have pretty much told me and now I am going to take it to heart. Thanks for telling me the truth that right now I am a pathetic unlovable depressive wreck and from where things stand now I am undeserving of love. I can use that and my desire to want to be loved to motivate me into doing the things I need to do to go from pathetic and unloved to admired and valued. Until then however no ones is gonna want to be my friend or give me a hug when I need it so I will let my desire to want to have those be my motivation.