08-17-2016, 07:48 PM
Hello.
It's my birthday tonight and as always I feel blue during that time of the year.
Just until recently my life was pretty great, I had a great job, a nice apartment and a basically a new life in a city I've always wanted to live. However, it all broke into pieces once my mental problems started acting up.
I have bipolar disorder since I was 18 and I've always believed I knew how to manage it well, yet this last manic(then depressive episode) was so tough that I am not even sure if I recovered fully from it. Because of that I lost my job, had to move back to my parents house and right now I am facing a great amount of fear and doubt when it comes to what I'm gonna do next. Like, I am applying for jobs but whenever they call me for an interview I bail because deep down I think that even if I get the job that would be short-winded and I'll go through all of it again.
Besides, I've always wanted to move abroad but having this damn illness is just so messed up, it makes everything hard and nearly impossible.
I don't think I have strength to do it all over and over and over again. I just want some stability and routine.
Well, that's it. I don't expect you to give me a magical solution to my problem nor to fix it, but I just want to let it out.
It's my birthday tonight and as always I feel blue during that time of the year.
Just until recently my life was pretty great, I had a great job, a nice apartment and a basically a new life in a city I've always wanted to live. However, it all broke into pieces once my mental problems started acting up.
I have bipolar disorder since I was 18 and I've always believed I knew how to manage it well, yet this last manic(then depressive episode) was so tough that I am not even sure if I recovered fully from it. Because of that I lost my job, had to move back to my parents house and right now I am facing a great amount of fear and doubt when it comes to what I'm gonna do next. Like, I am applying for jobs but whenever they call me for an interview I bail because deep down I think that even if I get the job that would be short-winded and I'll go through all of it again.
Besides, I've always wanted to move abroad but having this damn illness is just so messed up, it makes everything hard and nearly impossible.
I don't think I have strength to do it all over and over and over again. I just want some stability and routine.
Well, that's it. I don't expect you to give me a magical solution to my problem nor to fix it, but I just want to let it out.
![[-]](https://gayspeak.com/images/duende_v3_local/collapse.png)
