08-10-2012, 02:45 PM
Well, i think alot of things are going on here and at the end of the day, there's little YOU can do to really change the dynamic youre in.
I have to ask you directly, did you agree to be "roomates" for the reasons you initially stated, OR did you agree to be roomates becuse deep in you heart you were hoping that living together might give him the security to be more "open" to things (ie: he would come out as gay and you'd both fall in love and live happily ever after)?
You see, the questions you're asking sound like they are coming from a guy who's heart is a bit broken due to the fact that he's NOT moved closer to you emotionally and the "massage" was the first real intimacy you had and now he's pulled back.
Look, i don't know if your buddy is bi or gay. It's 2012 and young folks are so much more open to things, acts and behaviours then even 5 or 10 years ago. Could it be he's really, really a best friend who knows and accepts your being gay and is comfortable being around you naked and hard? Yep. Could he be bi? Maybe. Could he be gay? maybe. Is there anything you can do or say that's going to make him come out? NO! So stop trying.
My advice is (and this will be tough), that you try to return to your "friends only" level of roomates. Try to move on with some new gay friends and see what happens. It's not worth losing a best friend because he's not ready to be your boyfriend. If doing that will cause you too much pain (or you start acting like a jealous guy becuse he's spending time with a GF or other folks) then you should quietly start making plans to find another place to live when you lease is up.
Only time will answer your question, but again, keep in mind there's nothing you can do to "make" him say or do anything in regards to his sexuality or you as a "boyfriend." So, take a deep breath, and try to bring things back to something more "normal" with him. Lay off the questions. Try and smile and just be his friend. See what happens.
I have to ask you directly, did you agree to be "roomates" for the reasons you initially stated, OR did you agree to be roomates becuse deep in you heart you were hoping that living together might give him the security to be more "open" to things (ie: he would come out as gay and you'd both fall in love and live happily ever after)?
You see, the questions you're asking sound like they are coming from a guy who's heart is a bit broken due to the fact that he's NOT moved closer to you emotionally and the "massage" was the first real intimacy you had and now he's pulled back.
Look, i don't know if your buddy is bi or gay. It's 2012 and young folks are so much more open to things, acts and behaviours then even 5 or 10 years ago. Could it be he's really, really a best friend who knows and accepts your being gay and is comfortable being around you naked and hard? Yep. Could he be bi? Maybe. Could he be gay? maybe. Is there anything you can do or say that's going to make him come out? NO! So stop trying.
My advice is (and this will be tough), that you try to return to your "friends only" level of roomates. Try to move on with some new gay friends and see what happens. It's not worth losing a best friend because he's not ready to be your boyfriend. If doing that will cause you too much pain (or you start acting like a jealous guy becuse he's spending time with a GF or other folks) then you should quietly start making plans to find another place to live when you lease is up.
Only time will answer your question, but again, keep in mind there's nothing you can do to "make" him say or do anything in regards to his sexuality or you as a "boyfriend." So, take a deep breath, and try to bring things back to something more "normal" with him. Lay off the questions. Try and smile and just be his friend. See what happens.
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