What do I do about my 'straight' best mate?

[Absoluteladoi18]

I really need advice. I've been best mates with a lad from my school for about 4 years now and we're just like any lad mates. Both 18, talk to girls, talk about girls and have general lad talk. I don't consider myself gay, I'd say I'm straight but curious. In front of other people we're both normal I suppose but when we're alone and we're just sat in my room or whatever, he'll try and like hit me down below as a joke but even if we're going out and he waits in my room while I get a shower, once I come back into my room in my boxers, I notice him looking at my crotch area or he'll flick my penis messing about but he came out of a relationship not along and he's really insecure. He's also straight like he plays football and stuff but he'll bring me down a lot out of jealousy because of his insecurities which I just brush off. Last week, we're were in my house alone and he mentioned comparing sizes which isn't like him at all but he'll also just get his penis out sometimes and start windmilling for a laugh but then he'll say 'at least I dare do it' as if he's wanting me to do it. I do it sometimes but I don't know if he's wanting to just generally see how big I am or more because he knows I'm a bit bigger than him because he's not that big himself. It seems weird I know but I need advice on what to do? Is he just joking and I'm otherthinking things he does? Is he generally wanting to see my cock or does he want something more to like mess around or whatever? He's not the type of person I could just ask so I haven't a clue what to do. He also knows I've got pictures of my cock on my phone and I see him on my photos sometimes when he goes on my phone but he'll never get chance to look at them and he'll tell me he's on facebook or something when I can see he isn't. I wouldn't mind experimenting with him or even messing around because like I say I'm a bit curious and willing to try. If he's thinking the same, I just think it's not happening because we're both lads and wouldn't make a move like that cause we sort of compete with each other over stupid things trying to be more masculine and since we mentioned comparing, he hasn't since but still acts the same. His insecurities could be because he has gay tendencies but won't admit because it's not really "acceptable" for a lad who plays football if you get me?
What do I do? Just ignore it or what? Am I just overthinking or am I right? HELP haha

[Cuddly]

I voted for try and hint..
I don't know, maybe you could suggest that you think you might be bisexual or something. I don't know if "lads" can do that. I imagine the scenario where you've discussed girls, discussed who you'd like to bang and what not and then bringing up the whole "You know I am attracted to girls, but lately I've been wondering if I might be slightly bisexual? You know? I think I am a bit attracted to guys too. When I see a hot guy I think blabla".
These things are always tricky. If he's gay, but very shy about it, then he may be offended by you saying what I wrote above and he'll try to distance himself; being near a bisexual makes him look gay and he can't have that, cause then the world will know he's into guys and then he's gay and blabla.
If he's curious, like you, then maybe he'll play along and agree with you.
If he's straight and just acting weird, then he'll (most likely) be comfortable in his own skin and won't be moved by you suggesting you may have a slightly different sexuality. My theory always was that if you're 100% straight and you know it, gayness doesn't discomfort you. You know who you are and wearing a pink shirt won't change you. etc.

And just to be clear, gays come in all shapes and sizes. Playing football doesn't mean you're not gay (you as a general term for anybody, not targetting you OP).

[princealbertofb]

Hello, Absoluteladoi, and to GaySpeak.
I don't really know where any of this is going but you're both 18, you say, still teenagers even though you can now officially vote and are considered adults by society. I think your friend is probably very comfortable with you and being around you, which leads to some slightly 'improper' behaviour. Take it as a mark of friendship. You say that you are fairly comfortable with this penis size comparing and son on, and I guess you have seen one another's naked bodies before, maybe at football practise, showering? That may make him even a bit more comfortable with seeing you naked or semi-naked, and because lads are lads, and are used to occasional physical bantering, they are used to touching other lads' bodies and tackling them as if they were fighting. I don't think I'd like to be hit in the genitals if that's what he's aiming for, because they are sensitive parts, and a strike in the area could be painful. If you need to complain about it, tell him not to touch you in that area. At least, not in that way. If you want to be touched, it might be in a sexual or romantic way, how do you convey that to him?

What sort of insecurities are you seeing in your friend? It's not to do with penis size, surely? There must be more to it than that. This is the issue that I think you could potentially bring up with him. Tell him what you've observed and how you feel about it. It would be normal for him to be jealous of you if he had any reason to be. Does he have any reason to be jealous of you? Could it be anything about being more mature (in your head)? A bit more information on this matter might be useful. Note that penis size when flaccid has nothing to do with how a man grows when erect. There are those who are 'showers' and those who are 'growers', ultimately ending with very similar dimensions when in full erection. If you want to have an erection contest, then you've got to get erect, right?

To address the curiosity thing: well, you're both eighteen, with hormones raging, as they do at that age... and you're curious, I daresay he is too, but maybe not willing to admit it, because maybe it's a sensitive subject. At your age, if you haven't already done all the comparing stuff, and if you want to take it up a notch, then you're both 'adults' and you can deal with it in an adult way, ie not one that needs to be fraught with anxiety and guilt. I'd say you've already taken intimacy into a certain stage since you've both seen one another's penises, in joking situations, or dare situations. You might ask him why he feels the need to show you his penis doing windmills or other things. After all it's not something a person actually does in an 'all-alone' context unless it's got another motive (these things might happen in the changing rooms among a group of mates, then it's just fun). Are you supposed to admire him for taking out his penis in front of you who have already seen it? What's brave about that? It's a dare for you to get your penis out too, and you have occasionally done so, so you're now wondering: what comes next? There are two things you can do and they could go either way.

Next time you go and shower, take all your clothes into the bathroom and come out dressed, thus not allowing for any penis flicking or any underwear / crotch watching, if that makes you uncomfortable, or if you don't have time for that sort of thing.

The other suggestion is coming out of the shower wrapped up in just your towel and doing all the dressing in your room in front of him. You can't be that shy that you won't want to show him your naked body. See if he averts his eyes or if he watches you while you dress. I think he's been thrusting his own genitals in your face sufficiently for you to understand that he might be interested in some fooling around. So, OK, maybe he's curious too, and maybe he's also more interested in you, romantically, than he will admit. I don't think straight people can turn gay, if there is no gay feeling elsewhere. Maybe if it's just curiosity, you can get it out of your systems, play around with each other's bodies a bit, feeling another man's penis is interesting and warm, but ultimately only you and he will know if this isn't your thing. Maybe dabbling in a bit of man on man sex, you'll be able to differentiate with what goes on when you're with your girlfriends. I mean, have you both already had full-on sex with your girlfriends? Will there be a point of comparison possible?

How far would you be willing to go with him? Massage, kissing, caressing, stroking, mutual masturbation, fellatio, more? If you are thinking about going pretty far, then just make sure you have the right amunition to deal with it in a sensitive and sensible manner. So make sure you understand his limits and you state your own. Do you want to watch or make one another climax? As far as the sensitive and sensible manner is concerned, you might need lubrication and you might need condoms (just saying -- maybe you don't even want to go that far, or maybe you'll escalate your way there but maybe not in one go).

Good luck with finding out whatever it is he wants from you, and enjoying it, if you get what YOU want.

[Wolfpack]

Hi and welcome to gs

No such thing as a gay stereotype exists, so him playing football and other masculine things does not indicate whether he is gay or not. You are both adults, so you can both experiment if you want to, nothing wrong in that. It does sound as if your mate maybe gay or bi or maybe just curious. Just ask yourself do you want to be just friends with, or maybe try and experiment with him?

[wildcherry]

Oh, sweet eighteens! You lucky lads!

Were I you, I would have enjoyed the whole experience. I would attempt to experiment with his body, without worrying about our relationship. After all, you are adults. If something goes wrong or start feeling both of you quite sentimental, stop it and try to see whether you want to be just friends or something more.

Bear in mind that he might be straight. If so be, stop messing around with the sexual issue and try to be ''just friends''.